A couple of weeks back I was sitting with some girlfriends and we were talking about life and what we had always hoped to get out of it. I know we were all somewhat disappointed in the way had things turned out and we reminisce to what we always wanted to happen and make life what we always dreamed it to be. The most common ones were I want:
- My spouse to help me with the work in the house
- My spouse to take care of the devotional times and not be the one to initiate always
- My spouse to take the kids to church
- My spouse to understand me
- Us to be free of the struggle to make ends meet
- To be debt free
- My boss this and that
- My folks this and that
And on and on the list went and down the spiral of despair we went. At the end of the day we were not in good shape but we felt better because we had vented and got it off our chests. Misery loves company and at that point I did not realise I had just been in the midst of misery and had a strange feeling about that at the end of the day.
Much later I realised we were on the way to self-destruction if we remained on that road. The thought occurred to me that my life should be about more than what I want before God will come through and make changes. What do I mean? I never wanted it to be that I am the initiator of prayers in the home and I believe that it is the role of my husband the priest of the home. That’s cool but the real question is…what does God want me to do at this point? Now wait a minute: Where do the things I desire and want come into play? Doesn’t He say he will give me the desires of my heart? What will make life worth the living?
That is a foreign concept to most of us and I really struggled with that one. Then heard the man of God speak and many things clicked in and out. He said that the purpose of marriage is to depict the relationship between the Godhead. They are three, with distinct roles and yet they do not overstep each other’s bounds or fight. How many of us are like that. Then there is the purpose of the family and that is to raise a divine expression. This means that we need to raise the next generation of people who love God by choice and deeply to bring the kingdom closer to earth. In all this where is what I want? Where are all those things I have planned on all my life? NO WHERE!!!!! Isn’t that funny? I should really be asking “Lord what is your plan and purpose? What do you want me to do and become?” Not easy but that is the reality of my life. Wow!!!!
I realised that I am called to be more than just a regular believer but a change maker and earth mover. To be that, I must be clued into the will of God and choose to make his desires the desires of my heart. Yes, there are things that I desire and I make them known to him BUT when that is done I leave it ALL to him. Yes he gives me the desires of my heart but it is the renewed desires that he fulfils. When I am fully committed to him he will change the things I want to the things he wants.
John 6:56…As the living Father sent Me and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on Me will live because of Me. This got me on a new page just now…wow talk about revelation on the spot…If I live because of Him then I desire what he desires and he works actively in me. I am in the midst of a place that makes it easy for me to be connected and wanting what he wants and daily making the changes that I need to make. This is because I have finally got to the end of me and realised that there is nothing I can do that will work. I found that I must plug into him and find the way through obedience. It is an interesting walk because some of the things he wants me to do are different and humanly outrageous but yet not impossible. However, as I walk with him I am in the midst of making better choices in life. I still have things to change and I am changing everyday but I am also learning new things.
I am learning to concentrate on what God would have for me and not push for what I want. However the closer I get to him the more intertwined my desires for the same things he desires. This means that the life I live is full and happy despite the surrounding situation and I am above all things. I am above because nothing can hold me down when I am in his hands. I now want the things God wants for me and the level of my frustration in life is now non-existent. I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I that lives but Christ that lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in him who saved me…this is becoming my daily desire. I am learning to love life and live it to the fullest…