Frustrated with God by Kinya Kaunjuga

The post below is copied verbatim from a dear friend of mine…Ms. Kinya Kaunjuga.

It is so profound how she writes…I was moved by this peace and I hope you will be too.



In times of lack and need, I get really frustrated and angry at God.

I begin to reason with Him and today was no exception. My side of the conversation includes me saying things like, “LORD, surely, I can’t keep asking for help…begging…Lord, in Your Word, You promised that I am a lender not a borrower (For the LORD your God will bless you as he has promised, and you will lend to many nations but will borrow from none. You will rule over many nations but none will rule over you. If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the LORD your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need. Deuteronomy 15:6) and also King David testified of You that he “…was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” Psalm 37:25

I mean LORD, seriously? What am I missing? Why am I here again?” I am trying not to “handle” this situation on my “own” with my “own” strength, plotting something that is not in obedience with Your good, perfect and acceptable will. Oh dear God, do not let my anger/frustration/impatience/lack of faith lead me to sin. If provision is not from you…I can’t have it…I want what You have for me. Provide LORD, it’s Your nature. Show yourself strong on my behalf. Prepare a table in front of my enemies (enemy of fear, anger, and doubt) that you may be glorified.

Then I think, like Job after he questioned the LORD about his demise, in his frailty, God responded in Job 38 & 39 and revealed His omnipotence! He revealed His power and majesty by telling us things like, “Were you there when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding, who determined its measurements?” “Have you commanded the morning since your days began, and caused the dawn to know its place?” “Have you entered the treasury of snow, or have you seen the treasury of hail, which I have reserved for the time of trouble, for the day of battle and war?” “Has the rain a father? Or who has begotten the drops of dew?” “Can you guide the great bear with its cubs?” “Can you lift up your voice to the clouds, that an abundance of water may cover you…?” “Who provides food for the raven, when its young ones cry to God and wander about for lack of food?” “Does the hawk fly by your wisdom, and spread its wings toward the south? Does the eagle mount up at your command, and make its nest on high?” and it goes on and on…and you are left in awe of God. He handles and watches over everything, at every moment, everywhere.

And I repent and say, “Forgive me LORD. For surely, I have doubted your power and, my flesh is weak and frail. You are Sovereign; You are God and a good, wise, powerful God who knows everything I need and want. I will wait and even if I can’t understand and worry, I will still praise You!

See, I don’t want to miss the lesson here. I must glean something from being hard-pressed…so what? Trusting in God is not for wimps, clearly. You know it’s actually okay when you know your desert experience is not because of sin. It’s like confidently you can say, “I know you got this LORD.”

What if God cares so much about us that He says, “This one I have to take by force. I have to remove every THING from her so she only sees one path. Then I can clear that path and make a way for her to walk on it. And she’ll have weathered so much that she won’t feel the thorns pricking her feet, the bushes scratching her arms, or see and hear the snake hissing at her ear. She will steadfastly walk picking up the wounded, embracing the rejected, feeding the hungry, housing the orphan, kicking the enemy’s butt and thwarting his agenda. I need her, a weathered, fearless soldier.”

I met a soldier once; it was during college and after a long day of classes and study group. He offered to walk me home to my apartment across campus because it was getting dark. As we started to walk, it begun to rain. We didn’t have umbrellas so he used his arm to shield me from the downpour. I laughed because it didn’t do much to keep me dry but, it was a kind gesture. I noticed he hadn’t put back his shoes which he had taken off during study group! I asked in shock “Aren’t you going to get sick? It’s raining and you’re barefoot!”

He answered, “Kiki, I was a trained soldier. I took off my shoes because honestly, they are uncomfortable. In the army we, the black South African soldiers were trained to weather all storms. We were trained to fight in the rain, in the heat and all barefoot. This meant the army could use us where the white soldiers could not go. We did not feel thorns; we could walk miles barefoot carrying heavy artillery, wearing our combat gear and armor and sneak up on any enemy without them hearing us.”

Stunned, I thought, Oh My God…You require weathered soldiers.

So two lessons for today…


LESSON: God has a plan even when it is not clear….He has a plan.

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