Diane, can I clarify something?
You said that when you wanted to really walk in your calling, you prayed, asked God to speak to you and He came through?
You also said that you realised He had never moved but you are the one who had walked away and fear and the need for control had built a thick walled bunker around you and confined you.
How did you realise that?
What do you mean?
Well, what showed you that you had made the steps away and not God?
It was a series of things.
Well, as I learnt to sit still and meditate on God’s word I realised that I had lost the connection I had in the past.
What do you mean?
Do you believe God created you for a very specific purpose that only you can fulfil?
Well, we can’t always be 100% sure you know?
Remember we said earlier there is no maybe with God; it is either yes or no right?
So I ask again, do you believe that we are all created for a very specific purpose?
Even though I am not sure I will say yes, for the purpose of this conversation.
How do you know?
It is the bible?
I don’t know…you read your bible and you will find it.
Hahahah….you crack me up. In Ps 139 and Jer 1, God tells David and Jeremiah respectively that he knew them before he created them in their mother’s belly; even before He knit them together His plan for them was ordained. Other examples where when He told Abraham that he would be the father of nations, David that he would be a king, Solomon that he would build the temple, Jeremiah that he was a prophet, the apostles that they would take the word to all the world and even Jesus that He would be the saviour of the world.
Yes I know that.
So, do you know why you are here on earth? Do you know that which God created you to be, do and become?
I am honestly not sure.
I believe that our spiritual authority should be the one to guide us where to plug in.
Why should they?
Well, they are the ones who really hear God.
Why? Don’t you hear God yourself? Don’t you read His word? Can’t He speak to you?
He can, but He speaks more to the leaders in the churches.
Are you sure?
Well, doesn’t He?
Not really! God speaks to all of us in the same measure but we do not always believe that He does so we let others lord their relationship with Him over us.
Are you saying that I don’t need to have a spiritual authority?
No! I am saying that only God can confirm where you need to be planted and who should have the authority over you but He can only do so by speaking to you.
But church is where we are taught the word of God
The fellowship of the believers is the place God confirms the things He has told you or provides answers to what you have been asking Him and leads you into the place to true understanding. To confirm what He has already said to you means that there is another place where you are spending time with Him and hearing Him clearly. The fellowship of believers is not the place to develop clones of our leaders and to find funding for our projects.
What do you mean?
Each of us needs to cultivate our relationship with God such that it is deep and vibrant and we can each share of the good things God has taught us and shown us. We need to focus more on becoming like Christ and less on becoming like the people we hang out with. The best way to become like Christ is to spend time with and in Him.
So you mean listening to gospel music, reading the word, going for meetings, sharing our faith?
No, I mean spending time at the feet of God and in constant conversation with him about everything in your life. The things you have will be a part of the process but in a different combination from everyone else.
So you mean, talk to him about everything?
Even the days people upset me and I just want to punch them?
And the days when nothing makes sense and I am so lost?
And the days when I am so happy I cannot contain it?
How will that change my life?
Well, when you spend time with Him, His desires become your desires and you pursue a deeper relationship with Him and in the end you are more connected and a better example of His word. You will learn to feel compassion for those around you, you will pray for people with greater understanding, you will know things and bring His kingdom to the earth with greater depth. I know for a fact that when God says He is looking for those who worship him in spirit and truth it is not about certain common behaviours and habits that are taught in church, rather it is all about a deeper relationship with God that will bear fruit that will be unmistakably Him.
How do I get there?
You spend time with Him and allow Him to strip you down and remove all things that will stand in His way and let His kingdom come to your life.
Now that is why I struggle with God.
When He starts stripping us down. I totally dislike it.
He leaves us a shadow of our former selves and we have to find new ways to deal with life.
Could it be that your former self is not who God created you to be and is a distraction or hinderance to His will?
How is that possible Diane?
It is possible because we are raised in systems and cultures that shape us from birth to behave, appear, respond and be a certain way. These cultures are even pushed by our churches as the way we do things based on denominational teaching and how the founding fathers set things up. Even as these things may not necessarily be bad, are they the things that important to God at this point in time?
In the book of Acts, we meet Paul and the Apostles discussing the gentiles and whether or not they needed to adopt certain parts of Jewish culture to be considered full Christians. The resounding answer was no but it only came after they sought the face and word of the Lord. They agreed that God did not need us to subscribe to a certain culture or way of behaviour other than what He leads us to. This stands out because then it means that the criteria for a deep relationship with God is when we produce God in all we do rather than some outward behavioural patterns.
So you are saying that it is better to be walking with God and working through my issues one by one than exhibiting certain behaviours that I can learn.
Yes. However, don’t get me wrong; there are things God will demand of all of us to produce and walk in but there is no rule book that if you do not do the following things you are not a believer. The word is clear that if we believe in our hearts and confess with our mouth’s that Jesus is Lord then we are saved. The word also says that the followers of Christ will be known by their love and good fruit. We only produce fruit when we are connected to the vine and when we are connected to the vine then the fruit we produce is like the vine and not like a certain fellow human.
That is so dicey and so hard!
Why do you say that?
Well, when we focus on ‘seeking first the kingdom and His righteousness…’ it all begins to fall into place. It becomes something that is from the inside out and the fruit is lasting and very effective in showcasing God and His work in our lives. It becomes obvious to us first and then others that something has happened and we have changed for the better. It has to start from within.
Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you Matt 6:33