In the beginning of this process the scale was moving and the weight numbers were dropping; not as rapidly as I wanted but dropping all the same. Oh wow! I was excited, over the moon happy, feeling victorious…then it stopped! BOOM! No warning, no explanation, just stopped! After a bit it began climbing…yes, it went up instead of down as I thought it should. Wait a minute! This was a fitness and weight loss challenge to my body so the goals were to lose weight right??? Sure, but the scale was going up. Oh my God!!! What is happening? What am I doing wrong? Oh my God!!! Oh my God!!!
I shared with some people and they said, ‘Oh, don’t worry, maybe you are putting on muscle and that is good.’ ‘Yeah right!!!’ I would think, ‘Just shut up if you have nothing to say!!’ The weight gain caught me by surprise and flustered me quite a bit because I couldn’t understand what to do, if I should accept it and how to get over it all.
I stewed for a bit before sharing with coach because I didn’t want to disappoint him but I got to the end of me and needed wisdom. You know how you want to protect your image and come across as knowledgeable? Or how you don’t want someone to look at you in pity or sadness because of the reversed direction of progress? Well, this process is the daily stripping of that in me so I had to deal with those emotions. So I shared my latest weigh in photo accompanied by ‘?…how could this be possible?’ This God! He knew I needed a calm coach who would deflect the madness that could rise in me. Coach calmly said, ‘Check the fit of your clothes.’
BOOM!!! It’s not rocket science! Why hadn’t I thought about that? I could be losing fat or mass. So I began to check how things fitted; were they too big or too small? Did they flow well? Did the fitted skirts sit well? Did the flowing skirts flow better? And my word…there was a difference indeed. Indeed! The fit of my clothes had changed; it was more comfortable, the length was what it used to be, there were less challenges and I was happy but there was another side…fewer things fitted now. I needed to let go of things that were too big.
I danced around then gave coach feedback and he was happy for me. I thought things were over but true to who he is in God, coach followed up a few weeks later with, ‘You mentioned a change in the clothes fit…how big/small is the change, where is the most change? Are there certain areas your trying to focus on?’
Once gain I realised, yes, it was important to celebrate the success and to the wardrobe clean up but I couldn’t afford to get stuck there…I had to keep moving no matter what. There was no room for laxity because all those grams will come back in full force and will probably bring some friends along. Wah! No rest for the weary! Wait a minute…that isn’t the right statement. It is…‘No rest for the committed!!!’
Now I could see it clearly…My Father’s instruction was because
He knew who He made me
He knew that path ahead and what I needed and who I needed to be for it
HE knew it was time to make me shift into the right gear.
He provided the internal prompt, the external source of strength, the internal determination to do this and finally a cheering squad to remind me how far I have come.
I love this my Father.