I’m Out, Gone… Bye

I cannot love you
Unless I love myself
I cannot be with you
Unless I can be myself
I cannot believe in us
Unless I believe in myself
I said we were fine
But I lied
I said I would be well
But I lied
I said we were the best for each other
But I lied
I said we’d work it out
But I lied
I lied because I didn’t want to be alone
I lied because I had put too much into this
I lied because I was ashamed of me & my choices
I lied because I thought it’s what you wanted to hear
We’ve been together so long it looks real
We’ve found a rhythm that’s convincing to get others
We’ve created a life that looks like it’s thriving
We look like a strong, stable unit but it’s a lie
We know it’s a sham
We know it’s stark and empty
We know it’s never been satisfying
We know one day it will fail
We don’t talk about it so it remains true
But every day a little more of us dies
Every day the distance grows
Every day the silence deepens
We used to text and chat a lot
Now I’m lucky if it’s three texts in a year
I could defend your every move
Only to find you didn’t know mine
How can we be friends yet we’re not honest with each other?
How can we be one yet we don’t even speak the same language?
How can we support each other without respect for the other’s dreams?
How are we anything outside when inside we are nothing?
I don’t feel this anymore
I don’t understand us anymore
I can’t defend it anymore
I won’t pretend anymore
I’m out, gone, bye

#NoExcuses #NoLimitations #shifting

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