There are days you read something and it says what you want to say. I have learnt to use other people’s words when they are available and are clearer that what is circulating in my mind. Today is one of those days.
I am reposting the writings of a dear sister Esther that speaks as clearly and loud as a vuvuzela on “Self-love”.
This is going to be a vulnerable moment post…rather left field for me but here goes… ?
A little while ago, I was thinking about the command, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself”. And I wondered, how do I love myself? You see there are parts of me that I don’t like or don’t accept. Is that love? There are things I wish I could shift, donate or cut away. Is that love? Its always been so easy for me to give love, much easier than it has been for me to receive love. There are many reasons but it does come down to the fact that at some level I have felt unworthy of love, not good enough. So…in that space, with that mindset how could I love myself or my neighbour as Christ intended.
You see, I have to love me first. I have to look at me, and see me as Christ does. Whole. Worthy. Chosen. Beautiful. Amazing. His handiwork. Foreknown and loved from before the beginning of time.
I have to look at me, and see me as Christ does.Esther Wanjiku
Over the last few months, I think I’ve taken more pictures of myself than I have over the last 43 years. You could say I fell in love with me. I realised that I am His Handiwork and He looked at me and said “Es is good.” Why would I not love what my Father has said is good? And this isn’t pride, it’s coming to a place of acceptance and seeing that I have never been less than. It’s the beginning of an understanding of the gift of His love and His Grace and His Mercy.
When you do love yourself, you view the world and your neighbours with different lenses. When you let God deal with your insecurities then you view the world without rose coloured glasses. You then allow Him to show you how to truly love your neighbour.
I am still on this journey. I haven’t attained perfection, far from it. But I am no longer ashamed of my path. It’s the path and process that He has set out for me and it is good.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28