Tag Archives: self absorbed


What do you spend most of your time thinking about? Are you self-absorbed or do you have time for others?

Recently I discovered that it is very easy to be self-absorbed and not even notice it. In discussions with friends we realised that so often we focus solely on what is going on in and around us and how it affects us. We focus on protecting what is ours and fortifying our position such that we will never lose control. We focus on meeting our needs and protecting our territory. We focus on what we want and how we want it and go after it regardless of the situation.

So I asked the question, when is this focus too much. One of my friends said that it is when everything around you is all about you. Did you know that is a human behaviour to be self-absorbed? Think about your friendships and other relationships. Are these relationships equally committed on both ends or are they one-sided? Do you pay as much attention to others as they pay to you? Do you care for others with unconditional love and understanding? Or is everything you do focused on your personal needs? Do you keep telling people you miss them yet never make an attempt to find them even if they have been out of sight for a while?

Before you say no, stop and really think about the following questions. Have you barricaded your heart behind a wall to protect it from hurt? Do you hold people at arm’s length and keep them away? Are you too scared to share your true feelings and be honest with people? I realised that it is so easy to build a protective wall around our hearts and this will hinder our ability to have meaningful relationships.

The only person I know who is others absorbed is Jesus. His focus was on what His Father’s will desired and the needs of the people he was sent to save. He gave up His life despite His fear and desire for it to pass because it was His Father’s divine will for the salvation of human kind. He trusted His Father to protect him no matter what and to ensure that it will be well. He gave everything, seemingly lost everything but gained the whole world.

What do you need to reconnect to that will allow you to establish or re-establish a perspective of others like Christ?