The Simple Life

I Couldn’t Take My Eyes Off Her


I saw her as soon as I walked in

Cute, carefree, smiling

Standing on the sidelines

But clearly in command

And I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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When I looked around the room

I wasn’t the only one watching

Others looked her way every time she laughed

All trying to do it casually

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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She was clearly out of my reach

More refined than I could ever be

Well spoken, well read, well dressed

Likely more exposed than me

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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Then she turned and smiled at me

I turned and looked around just to be sure

She laughed and rolled her eyes

Then headed straight to me

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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‘Good evening’ she said

‘Welcome to the party

And don’t look so shocked

We have been waiting for you to arrive’

I couldn’t speak; I was shocked

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How did she know who I was?

Why was she expecting me?

What was the catch?

Who set me up

I couldn’t speak; I was shocked

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She laughed at the look on my face

Turned back to the bar and nodded

A server drink in hand walked towards us

And came to stand in front of me

I couldn’t speak; I was shocked

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A sip of the drink and I was stunned

Just what I was thinking of ordering

Who was this woman & how did she know me well

What had I stepped into?

Would I regret this moment?

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The music changed, the lights dipped

A follow spot appeared to be searching the room

The crowd went silent, they followed the light

And I followed it too around the room

Until it rested on me

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I turned to her standing in the light with me

A million questions rushing through my mind

She smiled at me and said aloud

“Good evening sir, happy 40th birthday

We hope you have a blast.”

#TellOurStories #NoExcuses #NoLimitations

The Simple Life

Then It Was Gone


One day it was fun and the next it wasn’t

One day I loved my work and the next I didn’t

One day we were close and the next we weren’t

One day I was happy and the next I wasn’t

Ok, so let’s be real and say that isn’t true

We all know that we lose interest in things over time

Times and seasons change and we don’t keep track

Then one day it no longer makes sense

So to be honest it took time to change

Three years to lose interest in my work

Four years to lose that deep connection

Eight years to completely lose the joy

It took repeated losses and struggles to give up

Regular arguments and avoidance to lose touch

Immeasurable disappointment to see you didn’t care

Intense sadness and struggle to lose my joy

It took inexplicable loneliness for the tears to fall

Indescribable sadness to accept you were gone

Great losses and down time to shut the business

Untold shame to give up totally

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Yet He wouldn’t let me stay down

He wouldn’t let me wallow too long

He wouldn’t move on without me

He stopped the world to get me up

He sat beside me as I called Him names

He sent His children to wipe my tears

He dragged me along when I refused to walk

He breathed on me so I could sing

I kicked Him more times than I could say

I called Him names I wouldn’t call another soul

I screamed at Him for being fake

Yet He wouldn’t smite me even when provoked

Why would You care for a girl like me?

Why bother to lift me up?

Why forgive the madness I had done?

Why stand beside me till I got up?

What do you know about my life?

What do you have planned for me to become?

What must I do for You in this life?

What does Your mind have in store for me?

Will You show me the full picture?

Will You tell me the full story?

Will You open the doors in advance?

Will You push until it’s done?

I cannot do this without you Papa

I am but a child in this walk together

So come alongside and show the way

If I will every become all You see in me

#NoExcuses #NoLimitations #TellOurStories #Shifting

The Simple Life

Six Foot & Still


I saw him from the bus window

He arrived just before the bus left

Dropped off by a beautiful woman

And he had love in his eyes as he looked at her

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He was about six feet tall, dark chocolate complexion,

Something in him took  him beyond handsome

He wasn’t feminine in any way

But there was a softness about his appearance

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He walked right to my seat…mmmh my seatmate

Oh my goodness, I hope he wasn’t a talkative one

He had a gentle smile and said hi

Then put his small bag on the over head rack

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He settled in, put on his sweater, mitts and marvin

In went the ear phones and chosen play list

Crossed his hands, closed his eyes

And promptly became still, probably asleep

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Eyes, closed, ding dong, lights out…just like that

How is that even fair?

How can someone sleep so easily?

The journey was long and he was asleep in minutes

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Two hours and many kilometres later, I was still awake

My seatmate was still asleep as still as a log

Shoulders straight, head square and steady

It was as if he was in his own bed…he didn’t twitch

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Photo by it’s me neosiam on Pexels.com

How can someone settle so deeply?

How did one still their body so completely?

How could someone be so comfortable in any place?

This was beyond me.

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Am I that at home in my own skin?

Am I able to settle in and be me anywhere?

Am I solid and unmovable in my place?

Can I be completely still and rest?

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There is so much to learn before I get there.

There is a lot of unpacking and decoding.

But there is a place of peace I am pursuing

A place of deep connection in my spirit

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There is place within me that only God can reach

Once He gets it fully, I will be still

So I open the door for Him daily

Desperately longing for the stillness

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There is a place within that is healing daily

Every breath is getting me closer

Every day is a new opportunity

Every thought is a step higher

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There is a place that is getting stronger

My smile is coming from deeper within

From a healing heart and spirit

From a more stable human

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I am better than I have ever been

I am getting better every day

I know the journey is still long

Yet I will walk it to the end

The Simple Life

He Gets It


I get it… and I’ve cried many tears because of it.

It’s hard when we are living in that space where our head knows God can do anything but our heart is heavy because He’s not doing what we are hoping for… what we’ve prayed for… what we’ve believed for, for a long while.

Three Helps for This Hurt

~ Lysa TerKeurst ~

  1. God often works in the unseen. Just because we can’t see it or feel it doesn’t mean He’s doing nothing.
  2. Is there something God has been prompting you to do that you’ve been resisting or delaying? Ask for the grace and courage to take that step today. The one who obeys God’s instruction today will be able to more clearly discern His direction for tomorrow.
  3. Don’t take what feels like a lack of intervention as a sign of His lack of affection. Look for ways today, God is showing you assurances of His love. His deep affection is all around you friend ❤

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This season of growth has been intense and sometimes downright upsetting until I found out that I needed to change my mind about the situation. Let me explain.

So God has given me a certain assurance that my path is a certain one but the current circumstances don’t look like there is progress. I don’t always know what to think or how to think about things so I began asking God to clarify. Why didn’t I ever realise that He actually answers prayers? Ha! I had preconceived ideas of how He should work and it was according to how my limited mind works.

We were conditioned into thinking that God is only present when things are going the way we want them. So when things aren’t working it looks like He has gone and is looking the other way but there is nothing further from the truth than that.

I think about David after Nathan had come and chastised him for his relationship with Bathsheba. He fasted, prayed and cried to God for the life of his son for seven days then the child died. When the child died, he got up showered and ate to the astonishment of his people. His answer to them was ‘…now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.’ 2 Sam 12:23.

I know it sounds flippant but it isn’t. It is an expression of faith and a renewed mind that he could not alter the mind of God.

2019 has presented many instances where I have questioned the plan of God because it hasn’t made sense but I am aware that I was looking at things from my perspective and not God’s and that was the difference. This weekend He allowed me to begin to see that His ways even though inexplicable and seemingly impossible always bring good.

When someone who loves and serves Him dies, they go to Him, what is so bad about that? When someone who has been sick for a while rests in Him, they are out of pain and healed for ever, what is so bad about that? When I lose a house but still have health and breathe and I can regain what I had, what is so bad about that? When I have to get on a matatu to get everywhere, what is so bad about that? When I lose the business that I worked so hard to build but still have the contacts and energy to regroup, what is so bad about that?

When someone you think loves you walks away from you in your time of need as if you are well, what is so bad about that? When you love with all you have and know-how and it goes south or you pray for that baby with all you have and it doesn’t happen or you pray for the baby and they come but your partner walks away and disengages or you lose your pillar and friend in the middle of the biggest crisis? He will always ask me, what is so bad about that?

I am not being flippant but I have been through so much and every time without fail He has asked me what is so bad about that and I couldn’t see it. It took so long to understand until one day He had mercy on me and began to break things down. When He began showing me who I need to become and how I need to grow then I could see how the path I was on was the way to the finish line.

Do I understand it? Not always but I understand that this path is the reason I am alive. My goal is to become everything He says I am and to shift the world for Him. If a few challenges are in the way then so be it. Saying so be it, shifts how my mind works and accepts the realities around me.

He sees, He feels, He knows, so I can trust Him with my life.

The Simple Life

My Father: The Example


My Daddy C is the best in world

But you may not like him

He’s the epitome of love

But wields a big stick

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Nothing gets past him that he needs to notice

No one can pull the wool over his eyes

You can’t pull a fast one on him

So don’t even try

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Don’t try and lie because God will whisper in his ear

Don’t say you will do something he will hold you to account

Don’t stop growing or you won’t understand what he is saying

Don’t feel entitled or you will be disappointed

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I have known him for over a decade and he has never changed

He loves God more than all us and cannot suffer fools

He gives you what you need not what you want

He pushes you to become the best version of yourself

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If God has nothing for you through him you get nothing

He is not interested in theatrics or platitudes

The only thing you will get from him is God

He is too concerned with his walk to give you less

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I used to wonder why he is distant and didn’t baby me

Until I realized that my path demanded a strong woman

He spoke little, asked many questions and pushed hard

Until I understood that it was for my good

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I learnt to seek God more than him

I learnt to know my place in the plan with God

I learnt to be sure of the voice of God and to seek His heart

I learnt that God is the reason I know Daddy and not the other way around

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I love Daddy but I love God more

I love talking to Daddy but I talk to God more

I would love Daddy’s approval but I seek God’s more

I would love to make Daddy happy but I’m desperate to bring God glory

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God is my love, my heart, my all

He is the ruler, king and Lord of my life

He draws me closer and determines who I walk with

God makes my life worth it

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Daddy must walk run his race with perseverance so must I

I will seek guidance but he is not the deciding factor

He is a guide and the evidence that walking with God is possible

I must meet, walk with and become the FULLEST expression of God to my generations

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The Simple Life

Deeply Steeped


Recently, I have found people who make me really think and push me to become bigger and better. One of my recent finds is Grace Favour with thoughts and words that make me think deeply. A few days ago, one particular one caught my eye…

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WHAT’S COOKING?

My Beloved Child,

You are born of My Spirit, who is Truth, and reveals to you the hidden things that are being prepared either for or against you and what concerns you. You will not be ambushed, taken by surprise and attacked unawares. You will be in the right place at the right time because you knew of your divine appointment by My Spirit and were prepared for it, way in advance.

Trust My Spirit within you. Yield to Him. Lean on Him. Rely on Him wholly!

Your Daddy,

God.

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Why did it stand out? Simple! It reaffirmed a truth I already knew and gave me fuel for the journey. Let me explain.

We often find ourselves in places that seem less than ideal and leave us wondering if God has forgotten us or we walked away from Him altogether. It gets even harder when we realise that our lives are to showcase something other than we envisioned and we then struggle with the call upon our lives.

The struggle has always been that there are things I want and I believe God will bless me with if I do things the right way and do a prescribed set of actions. I thought these things I wanted were more important than the path He is leading me on because they would enable me to be a more effective for Him so I would find ways to negotiate with God using scripture to back up my position.

Delight yourself also in the Lord; And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Ps 37:4

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matt 6:33

I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. Ps 34:4

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I would ask Him, “have I not delighted myself in You yet You have not given me the desires of my heart, not have You given me all these things neither have you delivered me.” I would wonder what I had or hadn’t done so that He would withhold His goodness from me and allow me to wallow in the sense of loss and lack of achievement. I was so clueless about what was happening until He begun to decode if for me

In reality, I don’t have to know anyone other than God. He is the one who provides everything. He calls, trains, equips, assigns, dispatched and removes the veil. He is also the one who stops me, restrains, compels and evicts me from places that wouldn’t honour him.

The only requirement is that I lay my life down at His feet and make Him Lord over all my life.

Now this is where it at times got dicey. If I make Him Lord, it means that He has the final say about direction, impact, actions and everything else on the path. It also means that I allow Him to lead through the very thing I want to control the most which is my mind.

Total yielding has been the challenge.

Being totally yielded means that I allow Him to lead me as if I am blind and can do nothing for myself. It means I allow Him to call the shots and figure things out even as He has given me a fully functional brain. It means that I accept I know and can do nothing other than lean in and understand who He is and then live the same way. It means letting go of everything I have so far held dear for His glory.

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on Pexels.com

The letting go was hard because my ego had me convinced that as long I don’t have a clear plan or set of shots from God, the I cannot move and I cannot be a good Christian. However, now I know that not the amount I know has significantly reduced since I began asking Him to take over every aspect of life and become the only choice of right and wrong. I knew that unless we talk about things with God himself and work out the plan he has for us, we will fail and fail miserably.

My call today is that we learn to lean in and trust God because there is nothing worth doing without God. Off I go to make an omelette for my father to partake and enjoy the fruits of his labour.

The Simple Life

She Pushed & I Became


It was so easy to walk with my head up outside yet it is down inside

It was so easy to smile at people and be weeping inside

It was so easy to dress to the nines and be naked on the inside

It was just too easy to fake it all.

I lived ‘fake it till you make it,’ so well

My young life looked glamorous because of my parents work

My adult life looked put together because that is the front I showed

It was too easy to fake it all.

It was easy to be in every project and seem to thrive

It was easy to get a kick from negotiating fees for projects

It was easy to sell a concept to a client or supplier

It was too easy to fake it all.

It all fell apart one day when the business couldn’t pay our bills

It fell apart when my largest supplier called me and pinned me down

It fell apart when we realised just how deeply we were in debt

The outcome was unreal.

We couldn’t pay the staff  their salaries

We were behind in rent and bills

Our suppliers were calling every day for pay

It was all messed up.

I remember Mercy very well because she embodied mercy

We owed her over six figures and she was following up

She wanted to know what was going on

How could I explain it without shame.

Sitting in her office, I told her the truth and she listened carefully

When she spoke her words were few and simple

‘You will pay me every single cent you owe,’

‘You will keep your word to me,’

‘You will stand up and be counted as honest and faithful,’

You will honour God with your business, walk and life.’

You see, she was the first business person I met who truly loved God

She wouldn’t let herself and those around her dishonour Him

It wasn’t an option to be known as dishonest

She would walk with me until the end

And seeing I didn’t have a plan, she provided one.

‘You will call me every Friday, no text messages allowed.’

‘You will personally tell me how much you are paying.’

‘If you have nothing to pay you will call me and tell me.’

‘Do not bring me a cheque or cash, send me a deposit slip’

‘You will not delegate this to your team but do it yourself’

‘I will stand with you in prayer.’

She didn’t budge; she wouldn’t budge

I didn’t like it but I accepted the challenge

One shilling, week, call, deposit & prayer at a time

We made progress; she and I

I worked harder and smarter, allocated something from all income

We cut back on spending and freed as much as we could.

We now had a clear plan out of the mess

All we had to do was to keep our word

I applied the same principle with other suppliers

Our relationships improved and business resumed.

She taught me to honour God

She taught me to keep my word

She taught me to be honest

She taught me to never give up

She taught me to trust the process.

She became the defender of my faith & integrity

She became one of the world’s best teachers

She became a precious friend & mentor

And when she went home to heaven,

I thanked God for her influence and His grace to teach me hard lessons

I thanked God for a new disposition that has now become my life.