The Simple Life

Afrika, My Afrika


Afrika has broken me

Afrika has torn me apart

Afrika has built me

Afrika has beautified me

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Afrika is my heart

Every person

Every plant

Every creature

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Afrika is my home

My very breath

My heart beat

My inner solace

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Afrika is in the heart of God

She is the mother of creation

She is the home of healing

She is the life of all men

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Yet Afrika is in pain

She is groaning with birth pain

She is pushing a hard to deliver

She is bent over in pain

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Hold on beloved Afrika

Your time has come

Your delivery will bear fruit

Your child is coming on time

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Though it hurts right now

It will get better

Joy will fill your heart

Your peace is at the door

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Afrika oh Afrika

Your time is now

Your hope has come

Your peace is here

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Afrika oh Afrika

Your children are rising

Their voices are being heart

Their cries have been answered

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Afrika oh Afrika

You are God’s beloved

You are appointed and assigned

You are prepared and provisioned

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Afrika of Afrika

Hold on in faith

Stand firm in your truth

Your deliverance is at hand

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Afrika oh Afrika

You cannot fail

You cannot be stumped

You cannot be silenced

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Afrika oh Afrika

You are the light of the world

You are city that cant be hidden

You are a great light in the dark

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Afrika oh Afrika

Your past can no longer bind you

Your suffering no longer destroy you

Your hope is on the right

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Afrika oh Afrika

Arise shine for your light has come

The glory of the Lord is risen on you

Kings are coming to your rising

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The Simple Life

The Art of Rising


Nothing prepares you for the sense of belonging when you meet your people.

I was driving home from a meeting with the Matriarch when our conversation turned to some laughs she had with a mutual friend who was telling her about the antics of my campus days. Of course I was always the one played within the boundaries and coloured within the lines for most of my life. However, one critical event threw me out of the usual lines into a vortex.

I had always hang out with the saved crowd but suddenly I was persona non-grata and found myself very alone. By the stroke of one act, I was no longer valuable to the conversation and the patterns of life. In response, I shifted my life completely and kept a brave face so everyone thought all was well but alas. This conversation was twenty plus years later and she was surprised at just how much I had been through but never said a word.

In reality, that season almost broke all of us in different ways.

One thing I learnt from then on is to know my people. I have spoken about that a couple of times this year but it keeps coming back in conversations so I will keep talking about it. This friend regaled the Matriarch with stories about how they feared me but others in the group stood up and said it was ok. He has even booked a date to come and tell her more stories and I will definitely go just for the laughs.

As I listened, I remembered a few people who in the middle of that season, took me aside and asked if I was ok and how they could help me. Those simple offers for friendship, conversation and support became my survival kit for the next eighteen months as I completed university. They also became the measure by which the faith community judged me as fallen and many didn’t associate with me for a while.

It is so easy to judge people when we don’t have all the facts.

I remember telling the folks that I am ok even as I was heartbroken. I remember putting on a smile, a laugh, and waltzing through life as if without a care while I bore a heavy burden of sadness, regret and loneliness. In time, I became so good at hiding that very few people, less than five, knew how deeply I was hurting. I got judged as a snob because I ‘moved on’ and ignored people but what did they expect?

I had determined in my heart not to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that their actions had broken me. I was set on being the happiest and brightest I could be never letting life get me down. I was going to make it through the fire even if I had to fake it for a while. In time I thought I had healed and life was good but in truth…it was all hidden waiting to explode with more force than a one hundred year old dormant volcano.

All it took was the breakdown in two more relationships…

Suddenly I had to deal with the pain of these breaks and all the pain and anguish from the past. I cried tears that were more than five years old. I walked alone in dark places because no one knew or would believe I was struggling. The lost relationships were compounded by work challenges and failed projects that broke my faith in myself just a lot more. Could it be that this ‘strong girl’ actually wasn’t strong? Was the strength she showed a fascade? Oh yes!!!

Beloved, there is a place to be strong as steel, tough as nails, keep going in the heavy rain, ride the storm etc. Yet, true strength does not come from putting on a face, veneer, or mask. Masks fail at a point and that is even worse than being vulnerable with a select few. The art of rising in life is based on a few key things:

  • A solid spiritual foundation: Faith is more than a list of do’s and don’ts; it is so much more than overnight vigils and loud declarations. It is a certainty that God is with you no matter what you are going through and it will all work out for your good. It is more than good deeds and doing the right thing; rather it is knowing the reason why you do things. Faith has little to do with how you were raised and among who; rather it is who you are now, what you believe in and how you are living out your life. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. This means that the day you live your life based on the things you can see…you have lost hope. Faith is a deep certainty in the Word of God spoken over your life and the reality that because you live, move and have your being in God, He has got you covered.
  • Deep accountability: You MUST be accountable to a few people; note I said a few people. You need a circle of people to watch over your life with you and hold you to the commitments you make and the plans you set. They will have permission to discuss and question your moves with the aim of helping you think things through thoroughly. They hold your hands up like Aaron and Hur did for Moses in the battle with Amalek so that Joshua could keep fighting and win. They will lighten the load as the judges did after Moses appointed them on the advise of Jethro. Finally they will increase your impact like the eleven disciples did when Christ left the world.
  • A decompression routine: What do you do after a long day? What do you do when things are tight? How do you dissipate energy to regain focus? Where do you lean to recharge and rebuild in trying times? How do you renew and refresh in good times or after major success? This pattern is important because you need to identify what is going on around you and put in the right measures to deal with it daily, weekly, monthly, annually etc. It could be as simple as prayer, keeping a journal, talking to someone, watching the sunset, getting away for a few days, screaming and crying away from people, talking to a loved one, reading a book, watching a TV show, documentary or movie, giving back to your community…the list is endless. This helps you expend the negativity, heighten the positivity and get to the right footing so you can be effective in your assignment.
  • Enjoyable work and assignments: When you have something meaningful to do it gives you energy to keep going. Sometimes it is giving of yourself in a project or assignment to an individual or people. Other times it is work or a job. Whichever it is, find a place to give of yourself. I have found some who are called and content to raise their children, take care of sick, devote their lives to prayer, build businesses, champion governance or whatever form it takes. Even as you find work and assignments, be sure it is true to your calling and assignment on this earth

Let nothing stop you no matter what. Let no one stand in your way. Never let go of who you are even in the midst of trying times. Every day and every step gets you closer to the full reality of who you are.

Shalom.

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The Simple Life

Remember


Remember all that she gave you,

How she trained you,

How she taught love, compassion, belief.

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Remember too how much she loved you

How she shielded you from drama

How she ensured you grew up uninhibited

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Remember her smile and laugh

Her hugs and twinkilng eyes,

Her joy, hope, her faith

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Remember her belief that all will be well

How to she never lost heart

How clear headed she was

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Remember her joy for life and love

Her belief in the goodness of people

Her joy in the success of others

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Remember the fights you had

The lessons you learnt from them,

The wisdom you learnt

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Remember her hard challenge

The lesson to protect your own,

How to stand for what you believe,

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Remember that even when she is far

She is present in you,

She lives on as an inspiration in you,

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Remember her inner strength

As a source of strength for you,

Example of unconditional love ❤

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Now go out and have a conversation with God,

Become the person He told her you would be

Confirm all the input she was led to give to you

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Remember the womb that bore you

The one that pushed you to your fullest

The one that called you out as God said

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Remember that mother isn’t always biological

Rather she is the one who heard God about you

Then call you to account of your path

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Remember she that begged God for you

Prayed you through your journey

Wept over your coming out

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Remember love with no shadows

Hope with no boundaries

Faith with no limits

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Remember Sarah, Rebecca, Esther

Remember Rahab, Ruth Naomi

Remember Elizabeth, Priscilla Mary

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Remember the heart that love you enough

To plead with God for your life

Then give you back to Him as promised

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Remember, you are a product of love

You are a soldier on assignments

You are a servant of God

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Remember you are established in prayer

Built in solid teaching

Graced to change the world for God

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Remember…you were created, prepared and built

For such a time as this

Remember to GO!!!

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Inspired by the memory of a dear friend’s mother

The Simple Life

Embrace Growth


I have been on a weight management journey for a while now. In the beginning it was about food and portion control, then it was about exercise and weight loss. For a season it all worked, and I reached my target weight in twelve months; then it stopped working.

I lost weight at the start and that was exciting but then it all came back and then some. You know the thing about weight loss, it is the a lot at the start of the process but there is the whole concept of weight management for the long term has to kick in. That is for another day anyway.

I remember coach asking me why I wanted to lose weight.

I did not understand his question because I knew I was too big. I wanted to look pretty, more beautiful; I wanted to feel healthier, to be more active; I wanted to change how I looked so I would be accepted by the community. I had been told that a certain weight was good and because I had maintained the look for so long I was so used to being that yet I couldn’t see the true depth of me.

Now, some of you will say that is petty but if you are honest you are grappling with similar thoughts in one area or another of life; weight, skin tone, career, finances, health etc. Breathe; let’s read on.

After thirty three months, I realise that the weight loss and management wasn’t the reward of this journey and it could never be. If I continue to judge myself based on what I think looks nice or what society says looks good and I have imbibed silently through the years, I achieve nothing but pressure to conform to a pattern that may just be impossible to attain.

The last thirty days, have been very revelational.

It is so easy to be so caught up in social expectations that we forget who we are. We are trained from a young age what is good and acceptable from behaviour to academics to faith to love, marriage, family and children. We are encouraged to conform to habits and patterns so many of us don’t realise we are raised conformist to standards that are unrealistic in many ways. This conformity is so deep that we don’t even question the standards set for us even when they cause us untold distress.

In retrospect, my life tells a story of dealing with things that have shaken and broken me over time. I am now working on rebuilding according to a new plan and pattern. The most recent change is my view of myself. For a long time, I have pursued a certain weight range because when I am within that range, I felt totally beautiful. I never really thought about whether there was value in my build and look. I never thought I would be acceptable without that perfect model figure that is totally unrealistic and impossible for a girl with my genetic make up.   

I worked out to get to a certain weight and everyone cheered when I did. However, the one thing I really wanted to change, my shape, did not shift permanently. There were still things I wanted to change that wouldn’t shift and I had to deal with them. I begun asking God to show me the truth of me, the reason I am alive, the call on my life and how my looks factor into that. Yes, He created me in a way that compliments my assignment on this earth.

Everything shifted as I watched a documentary of a young lady in India who was assaulted with acid and was badly scarred. What fascinated me is that though she is badly scared, she purposed to help raise awareness and educate others of the dangers or acid and irrational people. I realised that my life and all that comes with it has a story to tell and I must embrace it with gratitude then live it out with confidence.

There are clues to who we are meant to be in how we are created.

It sometimes takes a major shift to realise who we are and how blessed we are.  It has taken many conversations with different people to really understand aspects of the truth of who I am. Some conversations dating back to encounters ten years ago, came to the fore and spoke to the reality of how God has given me a gift that should draw people to Him. It was interesting that each of those conversations came back to the matter of my looks and how through the years I had been complimented about them but every time I brushed the compliments off as untrue or said someone wanted something from me.

How many times have you brushed off a compliment as unimportant? How often have you doubted the truth of compliment? How often do your get a commendation and brush it aside? Which do you hold onto or believe more; criticism or a compliment? research says we hold tighter to criticism than praise and it re-writes our psyche. Why do we do that? It part of our wiring after the fall of man and we need to rewire and renew our minds.

It is much easier to hold onto the negative or perceived negative things.

Somehow we are wired to absorb the harsher things and leech the good ones. Science says that it takes five to seven affirmations that we believe to overwrite one negative comment that we have accepted.

This stopped me in my tracks when I understood why I had struggled to see the goodness and beauty within me. My mind had focused on and settled into the things I didn’t like about my life and appearance then amplified to a place that they were all I thought about and remembered. This erased even the words of my Papa when he called me out as blessed and beautiful. It drowned out a lot of the good spoken over and to me and I didn’t even realise that my life was made up of so much more than that.

We must change our perspective conclusively if we are to be the true representation of how God sees us. The day we really see ourselves through the eyes of God, we begin to attain His fullness in our lives. This helps us grasp the realities of entering a level of hearing, understanding and walking in the realities of what God sees, how He created us and how we can be. As we rise into the place of absolute belief and trust in His word, we gain confidence and hope to rise above our current situation. This transformation becomes a roadmap and challenge for anyone walking behind us.

It took me a while to figure out that every sector of growth is in layers.

I have said before that I begun to see how beautiful I am after a long journey. Last week as I looked at the changes in my physique, my stamina and drive I was stumped at how good I looked and felt the another layer fell into place. The penny dropped and I understood that loving myself as I am is a continuous process as I find out more about myself. Every day there will be something new to love and deal with and every night there will be something to be grateful about. I must embrace the growth and self-love if I hope to BECOME everything God has said I am; the the praise of His glorious name.

This means that there will always be room to grow and become better and I must embrace it. I’m off to become more.

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The Simple Life

Dunno


I am lost in the light

Groping at high noon

Blinded by the sun

Dunno where I’m going

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I am lost in the dark

Tripping over stones

Badly bruised and battered

Dunno where I’m going

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We were walking on a path

A collection of like minds

Now i am all alone

Dunno where I’m going

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We had a map

There was a marked road

How did I end up in the bush

Dunno where I’m going

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How did I lose the way

When did I get off the path

What was I thinking

Dunno where I’m going

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Wide is the road that leads to death

Narrow is the road that leads to life

What about the road in the bush?

Dunno where I’m going

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If only I knew where I am

If only I didn’t feel so alone

If only my compass was working

Dunno where I’m going

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My skin has been bruised by vegetation

My feet are cracked and aching

My throat is dry and itchy

Dunno where I’m going

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Where are the green pastures

Where are the cool waters

Where is the shaded garden

Dunno where I’m going

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Be still my soul & recalibrate

Be still my heart & evaluate

Be still my mind & listen

He knows where we’re going

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Lean into the Father

Let Him lead us out

Learn from His footsteps

He knows where we’re going

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The Simple Life

Boxed In


It is so common to be told ‘think outside the box’ especially in times like these but what does that mean? Which box? Who created the box? What colour is it? How big? How thick? How heavy? Can it be lifted? Does everyone have the same box, or does it vary? Can we share the box and thrive? Does it really work?

In slang we say, ‘Aliingia box.’ This means that the person was convinced to do something. It is most often used in reference for a guy flirting with or courting a girl and she accepts his advances or the process of striking a deal about something. Yet I still wonder what does that really mean?

The final one that comes to mind is ‘this is how we have always done it.’ Of all the crazy statements…this is one of those I totally detest. So, what if you always did it that way? Are you saying there is no other way or possibility? Are we so linear that we cannot think about things from different dimensions? Do we even know why thing are done they way they are done? Have we ever asked why?

That box is the height of bondage.

Think outside the box has been presented as a break from the past but in essence nothing has happened. All one has done is looked or got out of the box and then try to make something different as you focus on what the box had or did not have before. The simple reality is that nothing much has changed because the box is the point of reference…it is the control specimen. It is the standard so even though one may have expanded their thinking; it is by a relatively small margin.

Kuigia box,’ means that you have come to an agreement however, in many instances, it is in a deal or agreement that favours one party more than the other. The winning party usually has an ace up their sleeve that isn’t revealed at the beginning, but it will definitely shock the other party when revealed.

Let’s take this a little further.

What do you do today that is all about the box you were born in or find yourself in. Now, before you say you are truly free, think a little bit deeper. What has limited your self-belief? What has affected your identity? Do you think you are living in your fullness? What is holding you back? Have you heard people say, it has always been like that or in our family we do not do those things, or I have never seen or heard of that? There is the proof of being boxed in.

You could even be boxed in by ‘good’ behaviour. Many believers and caged by the things they do that sound righteous like going to church, bible study, choir practise, missions etc. The greatest boxes of bondage are found in the body of believers because of rules and regulations that have been passed down through the generations that many imbibe and embrace but they do not have the power of the Holy Spirit to translate into life giving lifestyles.

The box is even more present that you think.

As governments grapple with the pandemic and needed interventions one thing that has suffered greatly is education. Children have been home for a while now and people are frustrated. In Kenya, we have ‘lost’ a whole academic year that has people worried about how to recover but have we? People are saying the children will repeat a class if they don’t go back soon, but will they? School opened on January 10th and closed on March 16th latest…exactly 9 weeks. That is not enough time to complete the year’s curriculum, do exams and fail. A repeat is only when you complete a course and get bad grades or miss a whole year and must go back. There is no repeating…please understand that.

Has the system been change and disrupted? Yes! Are there challenges of the children at home? Yes. Have they lost time? Not if we have been intentional as parents. The focus on book learning is only half the tools the young ones need for life. Academic institutions are all about head knowledge and grades, which help open the mind but do not teach character, values, work ethic, thinking, focus, tenacity, financial management, project management, street smarts etc. If all we focus on is academics, we have failed our children.

This is one of the biggest boxes we live in but do not see.

A child could be a straight A student but be unable to apply all they learn in school, that is the path to joblessness and the inability to serve the purpose they were raised for. Another child could be an average student but they are exposed to real life scenarios and they learn to be adaptable and become problem solver which enables them to progress further with less and in time rise higher. Education is a box that needs to be bashed to smithereens and burned to ashes.

We tell our children the same line we were told. They said, “…go to school, study hard, get good grades and you will get a well-paying job.” Our lives have proved that it is not true, yet we still hold onto it and spread it. We want them to get jobs so they can take care of us in our old age; but we don’t tell them that part yet…they will get it when we are older and they as working to ‘settle’ and we begin to ask for support. Since only a fraction of the jobs needed is created, we develop a generation of young people who have been given lifestyles they cannot maintain and get frustrated because they cannot pivot therefore lose heart.

We should be training them to use their knowledge not just work in the field of their papers.

Tuliiingia box, when we accepted and have failed to update an education system that produces workers and repeaters not thinking or problem solvers. We have solidified the madness with the sense of entitlement that a paper makes you worthy of a good salary not the ability to accomplish your assignment well and on time. If only we raised our children differently.

This is just one example of a boxes we are in and must get out of soon, smash, burn and stay out. Why smash and burn? If we are to have a new way of thinking we must dissociate from all references to the past. We can look back to see how they did it but must ask why they did it that way? What worked or not? Then change and remain agile and free to adapt. We must get comfortable with change, transition, deep thinking, reflection.

We are in the midst of a major transition on all levels of our lives.

We cannot afford to be disconnected or unaware. We must be present and actively growing into this new season.

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The Simple Life

Do Today; Kesho Itajipanga


Therefore I tell you,

do not worry about your life,

what you will eat or drink;

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Do not worry

about your body,

what you will wear.

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Is not life more than food,

the body more than clothes?

The world more that homes?

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Look at the birds of the air;

they do not sow or reap

store away in barns,

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Yet your heavenly Father feeds them. 

Are you not much more valuable?

Can worrying add a single hour to your life?

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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And why do you worry about clothes?

See how the flowers of the field grow.

They do not labor or spin. 

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Not even Solomon in all his splendor 

With all his majesty and wealth

was dressed like one of these

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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If that is how God clothes the grass of the field,

which is here today

tomorrow is thrown into the fire,

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Do not worry, saying,

‘What shall we eat?’

‘What shall we drink?’

‘What shall we wear?’

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

He neither sleeps nor slumbers

He prepares a provision for you

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Therefore do not worry about tomorrow,

for tomorrow will worry about itself.

Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Rather seek first His kingdom 

His righteousness,

His will and way

His perfect plan

Do today

Kesho itajipanga

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Translation: Kesho itajipanga – Tomorrow will take care of itself

An adaptation of Matthew 6:25-34 NIV

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The Simple Life

Love Is Illogical


The day I met him, I wasn’t looking for a friend. I was minding my business when he said hi. I am well raised (hahahahaha) so of course I do the polite think and say hi. I had also learnt on the streets that it paid to say hi to people. Anyway, that is not the story. We became friends and over the years have remained close.

Recently, we were reminiscing about life, laughing at our antics over the years. It was interesting to see how our lives had been so dissimilar but our love for life remained. I asked how he has remained so steadfast in his relationship and he simply said, love is illogical.

What do you mean? I asked

When you love someone, there is no logic to it. You just love them, will do what you can to make sure they get better and want to be with them. They may hurt you but your love for them gives you the grace to forgive every day because you realise you are not different.

What if they are a pain and keep doing things that hurt you?

You forgive and love them. There is nothing that can break your love if it is the true kind.

What if they are leave and don’t love you, or you break up with them, yet you still love them?

You just love them. You cannot stop your heart from loving someone, but you don’t have to take their madness.

You talk with such certainty. Do you know such love?

I do.

There’s nothing much to say. I love her, it didn’t work out, we parted ways and over time I healed but I will always love her and protect her.

I met her in my formative years and she was selfless and committed but my family wasn’t as accommodating as I hoped. I was also very focused on my work and other pursuits that I did not really connect to her deeper needs. I figured that she was strong and could handle anything so I allowed her to fight for us and left her smarting from the expectations of everyone around me and I couldn’t even see it.

She did everything she could to keep us together and I did what I thought was enough. She pushed me to be honest with myself and my people. She pushed to know what I needed, she was intent on finding ways to adapt if only she had the right support. In time I realised we were on different wave lengths yet if anyone looked at us all was well…we were keeping it veiled. One day she said she couldn’t do it anymore.

Just like that?

It looked that way and I took it badly but you know I am a man, I had missed many clues. Not wanting to look weak, I swallowed the pain down and walked tall. It hurt like crazy for a long time and I did not talk about it. When my wife and I begun dating, a deep well of hurt and grief exploded and I had to deal with it. I stormed around angry for weeks refusing to deal with the pain until I was given an ultimatum…deal with it or I am gone. I was about to lose another wonderful woman and I needed to get my drama sorted.

I dug into the pain with the help of my pastor and mentor frame by frame and in time I could see clearly. Hindsight taught me what I could not see any other way, she was my best teacher yet. She taught me to choose my friends carefully and be faithful. She taught me to love with everything I have because there is no way to know how long that person is in my life. She taught me to prioritise my walk and life and keep my eyes on the prize.

What did you mean by love is illogical?

There is no reason why I still love her, but I do and always will.

Did you ever reconcile with her? Have the conversation about things?

No, we lost touch.

And you still love her?

Totally.

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This conversation has stayed with me for weeks. I am still mulling and turning it over in my mind. I’m still not thinking about this so I will just leave it here. If you have any thoughts, feel free to share.

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The Simple Life

Stronger Today


I am stronger today

Yesterday I was small

Yesterday I was fearful

Yesterday I was alone

I am stronger today

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Yesterday I was sad

Yesterday I was mad

Yesterday I had no work

I am stronger today

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Yesterday I was lost

Yesterday I was scared

Yesterday I was unclear

I am stronger today

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I am stronger because of the process

I am stronger because of the hope

I am stronger because of grace

I am stronger today

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I am stronger because of choices

I am stronger by deliberate action

I am stronger because of exposure

I am stronger today

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I am stronger because of God

I am stronger because of grace

I am stronger because of forgiveness

I am stronger today

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I am stronger as I lean into God

I am stronger as I listen to God

I am stronger as I am loved by Him

I am stronger today

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I am stronger because God has set the plan

I am stronger because the plan cannot fail

I am stronger because He is my hope

I am stronger today

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The Simple Life

Changing Daily


There is lots of emphasis on being authentic and steady but is that helpful?

We have so many conversations about being real but too many of us are not. We do everything in our power to remain the same but nothing in life is that steady. No one remains static all their lives. No one ever remains the same all their lives. We change as we transit through the different phases of life but so often, we are so fixated on remaining the same that we miss the best parts of life.

Remember how hard it was to deal with not getting your way as a child that your threw every tantrum in the book to get your way? Remember how you rolled your eyes at your folks when you were mad or irritated as a teenager? Remember the flutter in your stomach when you saw that guy across the room or that girl walking and you knew you just had to be with them? Remember how you changed your behaviour to bag that relationship and keep your date happy? Remember settling into the marriage and wondering who or what you married because this wasn’t that person?

Remember how she had the little ones and just changed as if in a blink or how he became aloof with the arrival of the children? Remember the insecurity about that deal or job or layoff yet you tried to keep face no matter what? Remember how the folks sickness shifted your life but you had to be strong for everyone else?

There is an endless list of general life things that have affected you deeply.

We are raised to be strong, reliable, successful, with deep faith and engaged yet more than half the time we don’t have the capacity to be anything close to that. Life happens and we respond then people say, ah, you were never like that…what has happened? Or we call our folks and friends to say so and so has changed. Or the staff in the office or co-workers say they have never seen you like this.

There is a lot of pressure from those around us to remain reliable in the state they have always known us with the same intensity no matter what. We set ourselves on a path of improbability because the challenges, joys and sorrows of life work on us daily to shift how we see it and how we respond to it. Every smile, fight, disappointment, joy, success, failure, struggle etc. takes its toll on us and changes our responses even as we don’t always realise it.

The truth is…life changes us daily.

The changes we experience daily are often irreversibly, but we work diligently to cover it up and appear the same. We are so wired to be the same old same old that we do everything in our power to keep it so. Rest assured…you are not the same person you were yesterday because your experienced have altered something within you.

Every conversation should be a challenge to be different. Every tear shed should teach you something. Every thought and belief system challenged should lead to growth, therefore you cannot be the same person today that you were ten years ago, let alone yesterday. The intention in life is to transform with every situation to consistently become who God sees you as and that is rarely our focus.

We must accept daily change.

I look back to who I was in campus and who I am now. There are fundamental things that are the same (maybe about 20%), but is I am honest, I am nothing like the twenty year old who entered university all those years ago. There are people I fought with and detested then who have become an integral part of my life today. There are people who were my pillars of strength as few as four years ago who are nowhere on my radar now. There are clothes I loved, colours I wore, designs I cherished that I cannot stand today.

The changes only come to life when we actively assess life looking for our challenges and successes to see our responses and how we have changed. I can clearly see how I have changed in the last eighteen years including what drives me to anger and affects my moods to what drives me for work. I have to be honest that some people no longer appeal to me as people to hang around with because we have grown and changed then let go of the relationship.

Separation and change are an important part of growth.

As I stand aside and look within, I see things that need to change so I focus on that. As I focus on growing those who do not want to will either complain, walk away, or cheer me on. Some will deliberately try to make me mad or make a scene as they leave to see how much ‘love’ them. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Lets be clear that I will not stop growing for you; neither will I expect you to stop growing for me. My only expectation of our connection is mutual growth and support that we may become the best version of ourselves. I am far from perfect so I will mess up and I will apologise, but I will keep walking no matter who or what does not like it. Do not be fooled by my calm demeanour or seeming inertia…it is the pool of my refreshment and growth. Do not be confused by the current ‘struggle’ that is my life; it is part of the process. Never doubt that I am committed to becoming more than I am today and tomorrow will be the foundation for the next day.

I have determined to change daily; how about you?

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