The Simple Life

The Value of Mistakes

I do not know if your upbringing was like mine but when we were younger, we were discouraged from trying things we could fail at by the adverse reaction we saw others receive. It was almost an abomination to make a mistake. Some of us were beaten for getting things wrong, grounded, given excess work, made to repeat classes or worse still denied things we wanted.

Mistakes were often seen as a sign of foolishness and a true lack of wisdom, so we learnt to avoid any scenarios that looked like they would lead to failure and focus on the few things we were guaranteed to do well. We were often discouraged from talking to people who tried things because they were seen as jokers when they failed or did not turn out as expected.

I begun to pay more attention to life.

I remember looking down at people who were not as good as we were because in our minds, they would not do much in life. We even teased people who made mistakes all the time because it was a sign that they didn’t think too much or assess things well. What we didn’t realise is just how narrow we were becoming. Later in life, I was surprised that some of the people who made mistakes had indeed become something worthwhile.

It was even harder in Christian circles because we were expected to be holy and righteous, following the example of those ahead and leaving an example for those behind. My friends, it was so hard to meet all the standards that many of us faked it and never made it or even got close. We were unhappy but used the lingo we had learnt through our lives to create the illusion of happiness and try and draw people to the faith.

Imagine my surprise when I learnt the value of mistakes. Yes, value!

It was hardest when my early businesses failed because I felt like a failure and though I had heard that failure was good, my heart and mind had not connected to rise above my understanding. In the midst of a very challenging season at the business, I realised that I as the leader was the biggest challenge because my mind was not shifting past the things I was failing at. To I begun to say to myself, ‘What can I learn from this failure? What do I need to let go and what do I retain?’

It was not easy at first but as I pursued that line of thinking I say a change happen. I did not love mistakes, I just begun to see them as a classroom, a course, a learning curve. I hid my face less when it was not working and assessed a lot more. I remembered sounding crazy when I kept asking what can we learn? However, in time, it because the reason I kept going.

Mistakes can be your greatest blessing in life.

I cannot say I have stopped making mistakes, but I have learnt a lot from the ones I have made and a catalogue of lessons that I live by. I have also learnt to look for stories of people who made mistakes and how they recovered as opposed to looking for success stories because ‘Other people’s experience is the best teacher,’ in my books

I have however come face to face with the fear of failure again as I raise the young king. Recently after months of wondering what was going on, I realised that our education system does not allow them to think outside the lines. I realised that the system is looking for a certain set of answers in a certain order and if you miss one your get a bad grade. Ever wonder how they learn to cram? There it is.

The young king loves the kitchen, and he is learning but is has been hard because he thought he had to get things right the first time. when he did not, he would be so frustrated and ready to give up. The day I realised that he thought I never failed blew my mind. So, we began tracking times I failed and how it became a place of learning and growth.

We must teach our children differently about mistakes.

Our generations must understand that unlike the past, making a mistake is not:

  • A bad thing
  • The end of the line
  • Final

A mistake is and will always be:

  • A great classroom
  • A lab for experimentation
  • A quick learning curve
  • A way to build your inner strength and culture

Let us teach ourselves and our children to:

  • Acknowledge the mistake
  • Unpack what allowed us to make the mistake
  • Find what could have or can be done different
  • Apply the lessons learnt from the mistake to life ahead


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The Simple Life


To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven:

A time to be born,

And a time to die;

A time to plant,

And a time to pluck what is planted;

A time to kill, And a time to heal;

A time to break down, And a time to build up;

A time to weep, And a time to laugh;

A time to mourn, And a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;

A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to gain, And a time to lose;

A time to keep, And a time to throw away;

A time to tear, And a time to sew;

A time to keep silence, And a time to speak;

A time to love, And a time to hate;

A time of war, And a time of peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1‭-‬8 NKJV

It is well my soul ❤

From my personal collection #Sunset #eventide
The Simple Life

Never Static

Introspection is a part of my life that jumps up daily and calls for attention. It is more evident when I am processing things. 2020 has been about lots of processing and though it has been a little taxing, I have come to really love it.

I was thinking about my life looking back 20 and drawing parallels to today. It was interesting that I loved emerald green and cream. I would gladly have those colours in as many pieces of clothing as possible. I also needed to find ways to hid so I hid behind flared skirts and trousers a lot. This helped me fade into the background or so I thought.

Fast forward a few years and I went to dark colours so it was all about black, navy blue and brown trousers with long tops. Some tops were coloured some were muted, and I stayed in this place for many years because it provided safety and comfort in a turbulent season.

Life is never static, so the tide begun to turn and I found my life changing. My mind was shifting, my thoughts were challenged, my patterns of life were challenged to be place of breaking. It took a while, but the change in my inside brought changes on the outside. As I stabilised in my thoughts and was more accepting of the new position, my colour palette changed first to pastels then to bright colours and finally to large bold prints.

The next change was my perception of self and that was hard. I faced off with who I was, how I looked, all my gifts and skills, the failings and risings; all brought together on one page. As self-acceptance rose, I saw changes. The biggest change was when I could wear fitted clothing instead of all flared and baggy. One day entered a room and my sister gasp in shock at the gravity of the change that brought understanding to her of the true meaning of shifting.

The external shift speaks of an internal shift previously invisible.

I can now see how the changes in the colours I wore have always signified different phases of my life linked with spiritual growth, emotional cycles, and different states of physical wellbeing. You would not know the gravity of each season or related colour change as an onlooker, just understand that each season needed a different focus to keep on track and get through. 

Every change brought forth a new version of me daily growing towards better. It has really been an intense journey and for a long time I couldn’t see the depth of change. It all broke forth when Papa said he could see things were changing. I was perplexed because I couldn’t see them so I asked him how? His answer was insanely simple, “You now wear colour.” I thought I was hidden but his man, who prays for me and calls God’s purpose to account in me had been watching and smiling as he saw the shift.

Shifts are visible to the discerning eye, but invisible to all others. 

Know that even if you have not seen it, every day creates or produces subtle changes in your life that can and must be tracked. Every change alerts you of possibilities, realities and opportunities. Be present in your life and track it, you will learn a lot and you will thrive.


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The Simple Life

Allow Me To Bring LOVE

Everyone wants to give themselves completely to someone

To have a deep lasting relationship with another

To be loved thoroughly and exclusively

Please allow me to bring it to you


God says to every child

No! not until you are satisfied

Not until you are fulfilled and content

with being loved by me

Please allow me to bring it to you


When you are completely satisfied

To have an intensely personal & unique relationship with me

Discovering that only in me

Please allow me to bring it to you


Not until your satisfaction is found in me

Will you be capable of the perfect human relationship

I have planned for you

Please allow me to bring it to you


You will never be completely united with another

Until you are completely united with me

Exclusive of anyone or anything else

Please allow me to bring it to you


Until you are exclusive of any other desire or longing

I want you to stop planning

Stop wishing

Please allow me to bring it to you


Allow me to give you

The most thrilling plan existing

One you cannot imagine

Please allow me to bring it to you


I want you to have the best

You must keep watching me

Expecting the greatest things

Please allow me to bring it to you


Keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am

Keep listening and learning

The things I promise and mean

Please allow me to bring it to you


Be patient that it is all well

Don’t be anxious

Do not worry

Please allow me to bring it to you


Don’t look around all the things others have

Or the things I have given them

Don’t look at all the things you think you want

Please allow me to bring it to you


You just keep looking off and away up to me

Or you will miss what I want to show you

When you are ready,

Please allow me to bring it to you


I will surprise you

With a love more wonderful

That any you would dream of

Please allow me to bring it to you


You see,

Until you are ready

Until the one I have for you is ready

Please allow me to bring it to you


I am working even this moment

To have both of you ready at the same time

Until you are both satisfied with me

Please allow me to bring it to you


Until you learn the life I want you to live

You will not be able to experience

The love that exemplifies your relationship with me

Please allow me to bring it to you


There is a perfect love Dear one,

I want to have this most wonderful love

I want you to be in the flesh

Please allow me to bring it to you


A picture of your relationship with me

A life that enjoys my perfection

To love what only I offer

Please allow me to bring it to you


Know I love you utterly

I am God Almighty

Believe it; Be satisfied

Please allow me to bring it to you



Adapted from an anonymous poem I found in my archives

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The Simple Life


My calling is sure

My challenge is big.

My vision is clear. 

My desire is strong.

My influence is eternal.


My impact is critical.

My values are solid.

My faith is tough.

My mission is urgent.

My purpose is unmistakable.

My direction is forward.


My heart is genuine.

My strength is supernatural.

My reward is promised. 

And My God is real.


I refuse to be 





Or distracted. 


Neither will I 

Look back, 

Stand back, 

Fall back, 

Go back 

Or sit back.


I do not need applause, 





Or veneration. 


I have no time for

Business as usual,

Mediocre standards,

Small thinking,

Normal expectations,

Average results,

Ordinary ideas,

Petty disputes

Or low vision.


I will not

Give up,

Give in,

Bail out,

Lie down,

Turn over,


Or surrender.


Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Original piece by Collins Ambani

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The Simple Life

The Allure of Things:

It is easy to be caught up watching what others have and get jealous. It is indeed a human emotion because of the fall but it must be handled well. It is easier to look at what people have and desire it than to work for something. It is easy to compare your life to others are feel like it is unfair but is it? Of course not! I will not talk a lot about it because we know it.

One conversation changed my heart on this one.

It was at the end of a long month and Jenny, (not her real name), is down an her head was hanging low because she could not figure how her family would eat or even go to school that month. She did not know how to get to work or support her parents. She had done all she could but every time she seemed to hit one wall after another. She worked harder, longer and smarter (or so she thought) but alas. Nothing was changing.

Looking around her, she found that everyone seemed to be doing super well but for one reason or another she was not rising. The opportunities she found did not turn out as planned. Job after job, hope after hope, dream after dream did not pan out as expected. It was so hard to keep dealing and walking but she had no choice but to hold onto hope, whatever that meant. Every day she battled discouragement and sadness but kept a lid on it so that no one around her noticed so they would leave her alone. Hiding had become her norm

One day a confrontation flipped a switch big time.

She had a session with a coach in a last-ditch effort to get things going. They were talking about finding one’s way and though intriguing, it just did not make sense. Coach talked about finding peace in the process and doing the work and the goal would be attained. How was it possible that everything would work just because one put in the effort? She had been trying to do that for so long to no avail. However, she was determined to understand and make the needed changes to get out of the rut.

It all made sense when coach broke it down to five simple things needed to keep the dream alive and on track. Initially, it was hard to understand but as the conversation continued things got clearer.

  • Assess: look deep and understand exactly what ails you. What is holding you back? What are your thoughts? What do you believe? Where did this come from? It is important to dig deep because the truth of the situation is rarely on the surface. Whenever you find a ‘reason’ challenge it, question its validity, break it down until you get to the root.
  • Accept: Understand who you are, how you were created and become comfortable with yourself. You are unique and have a very specific path established for you. There is a space in the world that looks like you and fits your shape, connect to that.
  • Articulate: when you know who you are, stand up and speak what God has spoken to you and what you expect of your life. Have a clear vision, know what you bring to the world and live it out every day. Speak it to yourself every day. Write it out and read it every day. When things are out of whack speak out what you believe and stand firm, speaking out!
  • Act: Rise up and move towards your goal. take a step every day. Make clear effort to move forward. No looking back or turning away from the path. Anyone who wants to make progress, must take decisive action not aimless action. Be sure to be making progress in the desired direction not just move around aimlessly.
  • Account: Track the journey on paper and with your people. Let the team ask the hard questions and challenge your actions to ensure your heart is right, your mind is on point and your goal is still in sight.

Beloved, it is possible to become everything you are established and created to be but you have to do the work. Nothing in this world happens by magic or chance; it is all through hard work and commitment. Even a deeper relationship with God takes discipline and desire to know Him better. Do the work and the rest falls into place.

Stand on the WORD in hope and become everything that you were established to be.


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The Simple Life

Afrika, My Afrika

Afrika has broken me

Afrika has torn me apart

Afrika has built me

Afrika has beautified me


Afrika is my heart

Every person

Every plant

Every creature


Afrika is my home

My very breath

My heart beat

My inner solace


Afrika is in the heart of God

She is the mother of creation

She is the home of healing

She is the life of all men


Yet Afrika is in pain

She is groaning with birth pain

She is pushing a hard to deliver

She is bent over in pain


Hold on beloved Afrika

Your time has come

Your delivery will bear fruit

Your child is coming on time


Though it hurts right now

It will get better

Joy will fill your heart

Your peace is at the door


Afrika oh Afrika

Your time is now

Your hope has come

Your peace is here


Afrika oh Afrika

Your children are rising

Their voices are being heart

Their cries have been answered


Afrika oh Afrika

You are God’s beloved

You are appointed and assigned

You are prepared and provisioned


Afrika of Afrika

Hold on in faith

Stand firm in your truth

Your deliverance is at hand


Afrika oh Afrika

You cannot fail

You cannot be stumped

You cannot be silenced


Afrika oh Afrika

You are the light of the world

You are city that cant be hidden

You are a great light in the dark


Afrika oh Afrika

Your past can no longer bind you

Your suffering no longer destroy you

Your hope is on the right


Afrika oh Afrika

Arise shine for your light has come

The glory of the Lord is risen on you

Kings are coming to your rising

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The Simple Life

The Art of Rising

Nothing prepares you for the sense of belonging when you meet your people.

I was driving home from a meeting with the Matriarch when our conversation turned to some laughs she had with a mutual friend who was telling her about the antics of my campus days. Of course I was always the one played within the boundaries and coloured within the lines for most of my life. However, one critical event threw me out of the usual lines into a vortex.

I had always hang out with the saved crowd but suddenly I was persona non-grata and found myself very alone. By the stroke of one act, I was no longer valuable to the conversation and the patterns of life. In response, I shifted my life completely and kept a brave face so everyone thought all was well but alas. This conversation was twenty plus years later and she was surprised at just how much I had been through but never said a word.

In reality, that season almost broke all of us in different ways.

One thing I learnt from then on is to know my people. I have spoken about that a couple of times this year but it keeps coming back in conversations so I will keep talking about it. This friend regaled the Matriarch with stories about how they feared me but others in the group stood up and said it was ok. He has even booked a date to come and tell her more stories and I will definitely go just for the laughs.

As I listened, I remembered a few people who in the middle of that season, took me aside and asked if I was ok and how they could help me. Those simple offers for friendship, conversation and support became my survival kit for the next eighteen months as I completed university. They also became the measure by which the faith community judged me as fallen and many didn’t associate with me for a while.

It is so easy to judge people when we don’t have all the facts.

I remember telling the folks that I am ok even as I was heartbroken. I remember putting on a smile, a laugh, and waltzing through life as if without a care while I bore a heavy burden of sadness, regret and loneliness. In time, I became so good at hiding that very few people, less than five, knew how deeply I was hurting. I got judged as a snob because I ‘moved on’ and ignored people but what did they expect?

I had determined in my heart not to give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that their actions had broken me. I was set on being the happiest and brightest I could be never letting life get me down. I was going to make it through the fire even if I had to fake it for a while. In time I thought I had healed and life was good but in truth…it was all hidden waiting to explode with more force than a one hundred year old dormant volcano.

All it took was the breakdown in two more relationships…

Suddenly I had to deal with the pain of these breaks and all the pain and anguish from the past. I cried tears that were more than five years old. I walked alone in dark places because no one knew or would believe I was struggling. The lost relationships were compounded by work challenges and failed projects that broke my faith in myself just a lot more. Could it be that this ‘strong girl’ actually wasn’t strong? Was the strength she showed a fascade? Oh yes!!!

Beloved, there is a place to be strong as steel, tough as nails, keep going in the heavy rain, ride the storm etc. Yet, true strength does not come from putting on a face, veneer, or mask. Masks fail at a point and that is even worse than being vulnerable with a select few. The art of rising in life is based on a few key things:

  • A solid spiritual foundation: Faith is more than a list of do’s and don’ts; it is so much more than overnight vigils and loud declarations. It is a certainty that God is with you no matter what you are going through and it will all work out for your good. It is more than good deeds and doing the right thing; rather it is knowing the reason why you do things. Faith has little to do with how you were raised and among who; rather it is who you are now, what you believe in and how you are living out your life. Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. This means that the day you live your life based on the things you can see…you have lost hope. Faith is a deep certainty in the Word of God spoken over your life and the reality that because you live, move and have your being in God, He has got you covered.
  • Deep accountability: You MUST be accountable to a few people; note I said a few people. You need a circle of people to watch over your life with you and hold you to the commitments you make and the plans you set. They will have permission to discuss and question your moves with the aim of helping you think things through thoroughly. They hold your hands up like Aaron and Hur did for Moses in the battle with Amalek so that Joshua could keep fighting and win. They will lighten the load as the judges did after Moses appointed them on the advise of Jethro. Finally they will increase your impact like the eleven disciples did when Christ left the world.
  • A decompression routine: What do you do after a long day? What do you do when things are tight? How do you dissipate energy to regain focus? Where do you lean to recharge and rebuild in trying times? How do you renew and refresh in good times or after major success? This pattern is important because you need to identify what is going on around you and put in the right measures to deal with it daily, weekly, monthly, annually etc. It could be as simple as prayer, keeping a journal, talking to someone, watching the sunset, getting away for a few days, screaming and crying away from people, talking to a loved one, reading a book, watching a TV show, documentary or movie, giving back to your community…the list is endless. This helps you expend the negativity, heighten the positivity and get to the right footing so you can be effective in your assignment.
  • Enjoyable work and assignments: When you have something meaningful to do it gives you energy to keep going. Sometimes it is giving of yourself in a project or assignment to an individual or people. Other times it is work or a job. Whichever it is, find a place to give of yourself. I have found some who are called and content to raise their children, take care of sick, devote their lives to prayer, build businesses, champion governance or whatever form it takes. Even as you find work and assignments, be sure it is true to your calling and assignment on this earth

Let nothing stop you no matter what. Let no one stand in your way. Never let go of who you are even in the midst of trying times. Every day and every step gets you closer to the full reality of who you are.


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The Simple Life


Remember all that she gave you,

How she trained you,

How she taught love, compassion, belief.


Remember too how much she loved you

How she shielded you from drama

How she ensured you grew up uninhibited


Remember her smile and laugh

Her hugs and twinkilng eyes,

Her joy, hope, her faith


Remember her belief that all will be well

How to she never lost heart

How clear headed she was


Remember her joy for life and love

Her belief in the goodness of people

Her joy in the success of others


Remember the fights you had

The lessons you learnt from them,

The wisdom you learnt


Remember her hard challenge

The lesson to protect your own,

How to stand for what you believe,


Remember that even when she is far

She is present in you,

She lives on as an inspiration in you,


Remember her inner strength

As a source of strength for you,

Example of unconditional love ❤


Now go out and have a conversation with God,

Become the person He told her you would be

Confirm all the input she was led to give to you


Remember the womb that bore you

The one that pushed you to your fullest

The one that called you out as God said


Remember that mother isn’t always biological

Rather she is the one who heard God about you

Then call you to account of your path


Remember she that begged God for you

Prayed you through your journey

Wept over your coming out


Remember love with no shadows

Hope with no boundaries

Faith with no limits


Remember Sarah, Rebecca, Esther

Remember Rahab, Ruth Naomi

Remember Elizabeth, Priscilla Mary


Remember the heart that love you enough

To plead with God for your life

Then give you back to Him as promised


Remember, you are a product of love

You are a soldier on assignments

You are a servant of God


Remember you are established in prayer

Built in solid teaching

Graced to change the world for God


Remember…you were created, prepared and built

For such a time as this

Remember to GO!!!



Inspired by the memory of a dear friend’s mother

The Simple Life

Embrace Growth

I have been on a weight management journey for a while now. In the beginning it was about food and portion control, then it was about exercise and weight loss. For a season it all worked, and I reached my target weight in twelve months; then it stopped working.

I lost weight at the start and that was exciting but then it all came back and then some. You know the thing about weight loss, it is the a lot at the start of the process but there is the whole concept of weight management for the long term has to kick in. That is for another day anyway.

I remember coach asking me why I wanted to lose weight.

I did not understand his question because I knew I was too big. I wanted to look pretty, more beautiful; I wanted to feel healthier, to be more active; I wanted to change how I looked so I would be accepted by the community. I had been told that a certain weight was good and because I had maintained the look for so long I was so used to being that yet I couldn’t see the true depth of me.

Now, some of you will say that is petty but if you are honest you are grappling with similar thoughts in one area or another of life; weight, skin tone, career, finances, health etc. Breathe; let’s read on.

After thirty three months, I realise that the weight loss and management wasn’t the reward of this journey and it could never be. If I continue to judge myself based on what I think looks nice or what society says looks good and I have imbibed silently through the years, I achieve nothing but pressure to conform to a pattern that may just be impossible to attain.

The last thirty days, have been very revelational.

It is so easy to be so caught up in social expectations that we forget who we are. We are trained from a young age what is good and acceptable from behaviour to academics to faith to love, marriage, family and children. We are encouraged to conform to habits and patterns so many of us don’t realise we are raised conformist to standards that are unrealistic in many ways. This conformity is so deep that we don’t even question the standards set for us even when they cause us untold distress.

In retrospect, my life tells a story of dealing with things that have shaken and broken me over time. I am now working on rebuilding according to a new plan and pattern. The most recent change is my view of myself. For a long time, I have pursued a certain weight range because when I am within that range, I felt totally beautiful. I never really thought about whether there was value in my build and look. I never thought I would be acceptable without that perfect model figure that is totally unrealistic and impossible for a girl with my genetic make up.   

I worked out to get to a certain weight and everyone cheered when I did. However, the one thing I really wanted to change, my shape, did not shift permanently. There were still things I wanted to change that wouldn’t shift and I had to deal with them. I begun asking God to show me the truth of me, the reason I am alive, the call on my life and how my looks factor into that. Yes, He created me in a way that compliments my assignment on this earth.

Everything shifted as I watched a documentary of a young lady in India who was assaulted with acid and was badly scarred. What fascinated me is that though she is badly scared, she purposed to help raise awareness and educate others of the dangers or acid and irrational people. I realised that my life and all that comes with it has a story to tell and I must embrace it with gratitude then live it out with confidence.

There are clues to who we are meant to be in how we are created.

It sometimes takes a major shift to realise who we are and how blessed we are.  It has taken many conversations with different people to really understand aspects of the truth of who I am. Some conversations dating back to encounters ten years ago, came to the fore and spoke to the reality of how God has given me a gift that should draw people to Him. It was interesting that each of those conversations came back to the matter of my looks and how through the years I had been complimented about them but every time I brushed the compliments off as untrue or said someone wanted something from me.

How many times have you brushed off a compliment as unimportant? How often have you doubted the truth of compliment? How often do your get a commendation and brush it aside? Which do you hold onto or believe more; criticism or a compliment? research says we hold tighter to criticism than praise and it re-writes our psyche. Why do we do that? It part of our wiring after the fall of man and we need to rewire and renew our minds.

It is much easier to hold onto the negative or perceived negative things.

Somehow we are wired to absorb the harsher things and leech the good ones. Science says that it takes five to seven affirmations that we believe to overwrite one negative comment that we have accepted.

This stopped me in my tracks when I understood why I had struggled to see the goodness and beauty within me. My mind had focused on and settled into the things I didn’t like about my life and appearance then amplified to a place that they were all I thought about and remembered. This erased even the words of my Papa when he called me out as blessed and beautiful. It drowned out a lot of the good spoken over and to me and I didn’t even realise that my life was made up of so much more than that.

We must change our perspective conclusively if we are to be the true representation of how God sees us. The day we really see ourselves through the eyes of God, we begin to attain His fullness in our lives. This helps us grasp the realities of entering a level of hearing, understanding and walking in the realities of what God sees, how He created us and how we can be. As we rise into the place of absolute belief and trust in His word, we gain confidence and hope to rise above our current situation. This transformation becomes a roadmap and challenge for anyone walking behind us.

It took me a while to figure out that every sector of growth is in layers.

I have said before that I begun to see how beautiful I am after a long journey. Last week as I looked at the changes in my physique, my stamina and drive I was stumped at how good I looked and felt the another layer fell into place. The penny dropped and I understood that loving myself as I am is a continuous process as I find out more about myself. Every day there will be something new to love and deal with and every night there will be something to be grateful about. I must embrace the growth and self-love if I hope to BECOME everything God has said I am; the the praise of His glorious name.

This means that there will always be room to grow and become better and I must embrace it. I’m off to become more.

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