Restore & Refresh


Nothing beats taking time to meditate, be still and silent.

Nothing refreshes more than time to meditate, be still and silent.

Nothing revives the tired soul than time to meditate, be still and silent.

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I would laugh when people talked about taking time to meditate, be still and silent.

I often scoffed at their need to find solitude to meditate, be still and silent.

I wondered how they could be so diligent to meditate, be still and silent.

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For some the precursor to good sleep was to meditate, be still and silent.

For others the key to great ideas was to meditate, be still and silent.

For others the connection to their calmness was to meditate, be still and silent.

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How hard could it be to meditate, be still and silent?

How much time did one need to meditate, be still and silent?

How did one find the space or place to meditate, be still and silent?

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Surely it is easy to meditate, be still and silent.

Surely my mind is not too distracted to meditate, be still and silent.

Surely it is possible to be undistracted to meditate, be still and silent.

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I need to sit in the corner and meditate, be still and silent.

I sit with my head wrapped in a shawl to meditate, be still and silent.

I must recalibrate daily by making time to meditate, be still and silent.

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I settle my soul against the raging tide as I meditate, am still and silent.

I grow myself in the moments of solitude as I meditate, am still and silent.

I learn discernment in the stillness of life as I meditate, am still and silent.

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So I take time to meditate, be still and silent.

I find strength in moments when I meditate, am still and silent.

I grow when I meditate, am still and silent.

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Life is a Journey


Life is a journey and even when you think the route is clear…something can happen.

I have been part of a production that has taken a lot out me because of all the changes going on. It has been quite a journey to understand the realities of life and to find a pathway that works.

Simple things have changed my perspectives and I will share a few of them here:

There are spaces I need to colonise but in my simple minded state I cannot see the possibilities so I need to find people to walk with me.

There are spaces I already walk in that need more and I know they do but I am tired so I need to find people to challenge me.

There are spaces I stand which drain me of my strength and Joy, I must get out of them, so I need people to challenge me.

There are spaces that are the current challenge needed to grow and expand my view but I would rather walk away so I need people to hold me accountable.

At the end of the day, the thing that matters is the assignment and my alignment to the same.

Recently I was reminded that I am here to accomplish a goal, meet a need and change a life so even as it is important, comfort is not, cannot and will not be the focus of my life. It will take mind shifting but it is in progress.

Do not get me wrong, I sill like the good stuff and I will attain it but it will not be my singular driver anymore. I am determined to accomplish the assignment even without all the bells and whistles.

Something is happening, watch this space, greatness is rising.

Acquainted


Get acquainted with your body

Know what each part looks like

Know how each part feels

Know what the possibilities are

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Are you open to discovery?

Are you daring enough to try it?

Are you willing to go deeper?

Are you willing to understand?

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What holds you back?

What do you feel unable to express?

What scares you to explore?

What makes you hide?

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Is there a light you are hiding?

Is there a covering you need to remove?

Is there an openness you need to find?

Recalibrate Often


What do you do when you realise you should have done something different?

Sometimes, we find ourselves on the receiving end of unexpected circumstances. It could be starting a job and realising that your boss is actually toxic, yet he came across as very likeable. It could be finding out that your partner hid her true colours just to get married to you then unleash levels of madness you never saw coming. It could be waiting for a child for years and losing them just before or during birth. It could be working and expecting a good grade then failing all together.

All these happen daily and are not strange, but they often catch us blind and stand us in places we did not expect. Could it be that we must live expectant of good and be ready to scale the barriers created by life and the lemons thrown our way? Could it be that we are meant to find alternative routes when the road is jammed, and we have a timeline to get to a set location? It could.

None of us are immune.

I was part of a shoot recently and though I knew my content well, I was not ready with my slides and script. I needed help finalising some of my content but there was no time to do that in the midst of our schedule and team activities. I went into a corner to practise and as long as I was looking at the script, I was fine but as soon as I looked at the slides…it all evaporated and did not make sense. How could I make sense of the matter?

I could not wrap my mind around how unprepared I felt yet I had done my best. We kept starting and stopping because things did not sound as good as the director wanted them to and every stop took me further and further off track and I began spiralling down a dark hole. If you have ever been an over achiever or high result person, the inability to do what you know you can do and what everyone expects from you is not only daunting, it is heart-breaking.

It did not help that this shoot on was on the back of a trying week.

The time factor added pressure to my state of mind because evening was fast approaching and others still needed to stand in front of the camera after me. I often do shoots in one take. I usually know my content, speak fluently and smoothly and I am confident. But alas!!! Today is saying something totally different.

Halfway through the shoot, I realised that I should have done many things different but the one I could change immediately was the state of my heart and mind. So, I walked away to have a private meeting with myself and find harmony.

Only I know how to recalibrate myself, same to you.

You will make it


As she sat there she felt the break

She saw it suddenly

She had been waiting, hoping dreaming

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Waiting for approval

Hoping for acceptance

Dreaming of a new break

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Looking the wrong direction

Glancing in tiny blinks

Dreaming of a new break

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That was the last day

No more wondering

No more waiting

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She saw where she left the path

She saw how far she had gone

She saw the way to walk back

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Acknowledging the state of her heart

Accepting the need of her soul

Understanding the depth of it all

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No more wallowing

No more aimless hoping

No more walking in circles

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No more emptiness

 No more isolation

No more mark timing

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Walking on needs connections

Moving forward needs companions

Changing the scenery needs focus

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Deep roots must be grown

Stability will be found

Growth is not an option

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Now she will invest in her growth

She will walk away from stagnation

She will work at her life

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Work at your life honey

Focus on your growth

Connect with the right people

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Never look back no matter what

Do not hold back from your assigned partners

Be sure you are walking a few steps daily

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Your season demands more

Your future requires growth

Your destiny is still secure

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Hold on honey, you will make it

Trust the process you are on

Keep going straight and strong

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Finding Peace in the Pressure


We live in a day when the pressure for instant responses is so high that it drives some of us mad and others off social platforms. It also drives deep issues that we will never be able to get away from and the addiction to screens and phones.

The last few weeks have taught me that indeed opportunities can be lost if they are time bound however a thoughtful or well thought out answer is better and if you cannot do that in your current state, do not attempt to.

The assault from all the social stimuli can either be overwhelming or lifechanging depending on how you look at it. I could either keep working on every message that comes immediately it comes or I could take time to process yet too often people want instant responses.

I remember when I turned off the blue tick and last seen options on Whatsapp as well as stopped responding on demand, I got many complaints from people. The young people I was leading begun complaining. It was weird because the group was previously quiet of youthful comments and lots of the leader’s comments. I began responding when I could and if it was in a group and someone else can answer, I stopped being the one on the line. I even left groups when they did not meet the said objective caused alarm in some of my circles.

Why did I do this?

I needed to add margin in my life and protect my mental health. As I wondered what to do, I found myself listening carefully to conversations around me about the same keenly and learnt a lot. As if on cue, information found me that transformed how I responded. I learnt something big from two of my life examples about responding to messages and requests.

One said, “I will never respond until I have clarity on what you need to hear, I have something to say and I will never hold back the truth from you.”

The other said, “Never feel the pressure to respond to messages immediately, respond when you have time and you know the right thing to say. Just remember to respond within 24 hours.”

It takes a lot of the weight of life off your shoulders when you realise that best time to communicate is when you are at your best. Your communication includes your words, tone, thoughts and attitude which all come out clearly every time we write or speak. Be sure to watch over your communication every day and it is better to be silent when you aren’t sure how it will come out.

This realization has really helped me as I find many more things on my plate.

I stop and check myself before any conversation and ask myself:

  • What is this person asking?
  • What state am I in?
  • Do I have the time to focus and answer effective now?

Why do I ask these questions? Simple…they determine the quality of the answer and engagement we will have. What happens if I cannot answer positively? I don’t answer right then, If I need to read, I do. If I need to rest, I do. If I need to consult, I do. If I need to draft and re-read, I do. Whatever needs to be done to ensure clear communication has to be done.

Let’s be deliberate about our health and communication.

He Is Watching: He Hears


A few years ago, were at the tail end of a series the preacher came to me for a review, I said

I was not there for most of the series.

Why? he asked.

I am looking for something deeper and a greater connection to God and it is not here,

You missed the whole series?

Most of it,

Why?

I was out visiting another congregation

Why?

Like I said, I want more and a deeper connection to God

You know, when people say they want more of God, that is when they get into cults.

What do you mean?

That is how you will get lost and never come back to faith.

Do you mean that we should just settle for whatever is served?

No! I am saying that when people are dissatisfied it is room for the devil to come and deceive you.

What happens when my heart tells me there is more to find out about God?

You manage it, and remain in the safe congregation you have found.

Like this one?

Yes! Like this one.

I laughed because I knew I could no longer remain in this place.

I could not be in a place that encouraged me to be complacent about my walk with God. To deny the calling of God and depth he is calling me to so that I keep the status quo and dumb down to the standards of those who didn’t see what I could. How could I stay there when my desire to know God deeper was being ridiculed by a key leader? Why stay? Would I grow or stagnate if I stayed? I would definitely stagnate and I am not willing to do so.

I remained connected with my congregations and took it upon myself to submit to the teach of different servants of God who knew that the measure of their congregation was a people who sought God more and beyond them, They encouraged the congregation to tbe deeper integrated to God and always seeking to understand the height, the length, the depth and the breadth of his love, compassion and will.

You guessed right…I moved on.

I was reminded of this scripture…” 12 “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father. 13 And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If you [c]ask anything in My name, I will do it.” John !4:12-14

Surely if I am ordained to be greater than Christ there is room for more. There is room for more prayer, meditation, study of the word, discussion, communion, dealing, refusal to let go of the word no matter what or how bleak life is. He says that if I ask for anything in His name He would give it so surely wouldn’t he give me more of himself if I asked for that?

There was so much more I needed to learn.

Scripture is clear that:

  • God is husband to the widow, father to the fatherless, friend to the friendless.
  • God is the first and last, the Alpha and Omega.
  • God is all knowing and provides all.
  • God is the one we can lean on in every circumstance.
  • He is all knowing, all reliable and never forgets.
  • He loves us like a mother loves her son, who she cannot forget.

Why on earth would I deny His power to teach me and grown me with or without external interference. I think of David who could see God in all he die and heard. I think of Daniel, the three Hebrew boys, Tabitha, Priscilla and Aquilla who were working to build their fortune and use the resources raised for the work of God. This caught me because many times when we do know there is more on the table being served from God’s table there is resolution and accountability, and we will grow to the fullest we can be.

Do not let another steal God’s plan for your life with the need to be logical, cut and dry. God is beyond logic, reason, and fear. He is the master provider, comforter, friend, connector, etc. he is the one who watches over us and keeps us on track.

Rest assured, He is watching and your desire for more has been heard.

Photo by Matilda Wormwood on Pexels.com

I long


I long for community

I long for accountability

I long for connection

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I long for hugs

I long for kisses

I long for cuddles

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I long for conversation

I long for laughter

I long for smiles

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I long for fair fights

I long for honest arguments

I long for just relations

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It feels like no one loves me

It feels like no one cares

It feels like I am unimportant

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I long so deeply

I don’t know what to do

I don’t know how to change

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Am I Important: Do Others Think of Me?


I have a friend who has been trying to get to know me, but I’m scared and have held back, she said

Why?

I do not know.

Yes, you do,

No, I don’t

Yes, you do.

How are you so sure?

If we all allow ourselves to look deeply, we always see our truth but our minds avoid it because we’re scared we’ll see something we don’t like.

But I like my life as it is.

Really?

Sure.

What do you like about it?

I am alive, I have work, I have people around me, I can meet my needs.

What about deeper things?

Like what?

Do you believe that people can care for you just because they care?

As in, interested in me because of me?

Yes!

Never!

Why?

People always want something. No one is around you just because they want to be around you. They want something in return…information, money, status, contacts, insight, whatever else they could want but never just because!

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I have had this conversation often with different people and it always ends with a long soliloquy of how “many are like that and I could demonstrate it well.” However, recently this personal question in the silence of my heart triggered deep reflection on the truth of who I am.

When you have always been available, reachable and open to taking up assignments for people, it is easy to be taken like furniture…always there and steady. We never wonder if the chair, bed, stool or even the stairs will take our weight. We just sit on, lie down, toss and turn, or climb up the piece without thought of breaking.

Then one day it all shatters.

One day you are either unable or unwilling to continue in that way of life and others look at you in shock. You say no and they look, sound and act confused. You don’t show up and they call more upset that you foiled their plans and comfort than concerned about why you didn’t go.

They sit in meetings and conversations, decide on courses of action, assign you a role outside you scope of knowledge and say she or he will figure it out. You ask for something and two minutes later it’s forgotten and when you ask, a shrug is the explanation followed by a promise to do better next time as if you don’t need that thing now.

In time you lose faith that anyone will prioritise you, for you.

It is entirely possible that how people see us is different from our own perspective. A dear friend has always asked if I slept well and I always assumed it was those usual questions until he changed the question to, how many hours did you sleep or did you feel fresh when you woke up, of are you rested or is you system working at full throttle?

“What is it to you?” I asked. “Why are you bothered?”

His response blew my mind…”Because I care.”

“What? Why do you care? How does it help you?”

He was silent for a long moment then asked, “do I need a reason to care for you?”

My honest answer, said in my mind, “Yes!” My verbal answer, “I don’t know!”

Am I important enough that others think of me?

It has been a learning curve that whether I believe it or not, there are people who love or care for me just because! These special people do not need a reason to, neither will they be running for the hills when I hit a roadblock or lay down in the road crying. Neither will they take off with the goodies when I hit the jackpot.

These are my people, they love me and I love them so no more holding my breath when they are around. I will breath easy and rest in the knowledge that Divine design has me covered and connected to the people who will ensure that my life is on track to the praise of His glorious name.

Original image by Kyesubire

Love…A Superpower


Many times when we see or read the word LOVE we think of that one person we want to spend our lives with.

We think of romantic love, the kind that ends in life long home building. We think of physical attraction and sex.

I learnt the hard way that is a very limited view.

Love is acceptance, choices, work, correction, connection, compassion, discipline, forgiveness, hope, truth, conversation, joy, strength, belief and so much more, is STABILISING.

Love is friendship, built over time, tested in the fire, peppered with pain and healing, painted in bold and brilliant colours, supported by soft tones and rich depth, is DETERMINED.

Love challenges the status quo, grows deep stable roots, builds strong foundations and walls, never stops growing, is FOUNDATIONAL.

Love speaks to the Spirit, links hearts in silence, creates understanding, joins hearts and minds, holds hope close, hears the cry of the heart, sees the hidden tears, understands without spoken words, is ILLIMITABLE.

Love transforms strangers to acquaintances, acquaintances to friends, friends to family, family to confidants and pillars, is A PROCESS.

Love recognises when things are not working, seeks out conversation, works to improve and correct, is devoted to true healing and reconciliation, is UNRELENTING

Love changes us irreversibly, strengthens, fuels our hopes, drives our dreams, lights the path, inspires, instigates, enables, GROWS DAILY.

Love is LIFE…

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And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
I Corinthians 13:13 NKJV

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV