Left Out From Living It Out


Mwanza Tanzania Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Mwanza Tanzania
Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Hey girl,

Hey Dave, How are you?

I’m good.

You?

Okay.

Only ok, Jo?

Yeah…just ok.

Why?

I’m in a really hard season.

You?

Yes.

No way…

Oh yes way..It’s a day at a time.

What’s up?

Everything!

Explain

I feel forgotten

By?

God, My mother….

Why? What happened?

My sister got saved.

Like really? You are upset and feel forgotten because your sister got saved?

Yes!

Why???

It’s like she got fast forwarded…

Mwanza Tanzania Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Mwanza Tanzania
Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

You’ve lost me…

She got saved and then had a lot of prophecy and amazing experiences came and continue to come for her from God.

And???

My life was and still is silent in many ways…don’t get me wrong I am happy for her…really happy.

Really?

Sure!

Really…you sound mad because God is doing more for her than you

Ok, so you are right. I started out with the elderly brother spirit but I dealt with it but now I feel forgotten.

Elder brother spirit?

Well, you remember the prodigal son’s elder brother who was mad at his father because he had never had a goat to share with his friends?

Yes, but that feeling was born out of a sense of entitlement and anger

Yes, but in a sense it was justified because the best had been given to his younger brother.

Mwanza Tanzania Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Mwanza Tanzania
Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

So you feel that God has forgotten you and so you took it out on your sister?

Not anymore…I just feel sidelined.

Why Josephine? Are they ignoring you? Are your expectations unmet? What?

When you call me Josephine not Jo means I am in trouble?

Not really. So you feel forgotten because…????

Not forgotten, I feel overshadowed.

Overshadowed? Explain…you changed the word many times today you know?

I don’t know how to make you understand.

You’re unforgettable, remember that

Thanks, I can’t even argue against that.. I don’t know whether I can explain my season right now, but everything feels hard.

I’m learning the real issue is based around what I think about, who think I am and what I allow to become my truth

You sound like you’ve read ‘Battlefield Of The Mind’ by Joyce Meyer

Lol…I haven’t…I just know that place of frustration.

You do?

Sure…just last Monday, I was ready to give up, pack up and bail out.

Really? How did you get out of there?

Yes. It took soul searching and listening to God, for me to realise that I’m on a journey and my journey is the way it is so I can help others who will follow behind me

I’m just so tired of being in the kingdom…it’s so much work to keep going and stay true

It is at times but remember…nothing good comes cheaply. Think of Christ in Gethsemane.

I want to give up, but I don’t know what will be next if I do. I think I’m just looking down on myself.

Mwanza Tanzania Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Mwanza Tanzania
Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Why?

Comparison.

With?

My sister…God keeps pouring into her, telling her about her ministry and all…It has made me feel forgotten.

Is your life purpose the same?

No.

Are your personalities the same?

No.

So if you’re going different ways, do you think your path will be the same?

What do you mean?

Let’s say two of you are going to Mombasa, but you left in the middle of the night when the options were limited and your route meant you take a different mode of transport…do you complain? Ideally no…but in real life we do.

What if you are going to Mombasa but you are in full health and she cannot take the eight-hour trip, would you complain if she takes a flight and you have to take the bus?

Yes, I would I guess because she has only 45min of travel and I have a whole day.

But she is unable to do the long journey

And I am?

Of course because in the scheme of things you are healthy and able to handle the travel

Uhuh…and you want me to I apply this to life?

Yes. The thing you need to do is to spend time with God and find why you are here and keep that front & centre despite the challenges. Is it easy? Nope! Is it doable? Absolutely! Is it always pleasant? Not always!

Mwanza Tanzania Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Mwanza Tanzania
Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

I understand. I truly do.

We’re different people with different destinations so the route you get there will be different.

I love how you analogize things.

Lol…it’s a gift I’m just discovering as I accept and walk the path laid out for me.

So you are saying…She’s going one place and I’m going to another so we just can’t be the same.

Yup.

Wow…

Is it easy? Not always. Is it good? Long-term definitely. Will I always like it? No. Will it go away? Unlikely.

And I just have to accept.

I’d rather you choose to accept.

What do you mean?

Think of it this way. When we feel we have to do something it becomes an obligation or a chore, something we settle for that makes us feel we’re powerless. When we choose, we take an active position; we opt and hence we are strong

I love that!!! Thanks I feel way better

It’s a long journey dear, and it needs grace. I’m learning to choose my responses daily.

What is the best response to choose?

I know it the best choices are trust and joy.

God has kept telling me how I kept choosing anger.

Why?

Even through this season, I kept telling God how happy I am for my sister.

Are you really happy?

When I’m not thinking about myself or feeling forgotten.

Joy is a permanent state. That has been my lesson, to learn to be glad for everyone…real heartfelt joy no matter what is going on in my life.

Wah, THAT’S HARD!!! That’s asking me not to think about myself

Was a long journey but it is possible and I’m glad I did

Talk about die to self

Rusinga Island Kenya Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

Rusinga Island Kenya
Courtesy of Moses Nderitu

It’s accepting that your path is just that…your path. It is God ordained and will be different from other. It is accepting that in order to achieve your life’s purpose, what you need & what others need is different.

Mmmmmmhhhh…mmmhhhhh

It is understanding that even if you covet someone else’s blessings they won’t come to you nor benefit you. Nothing will put the gifts of another in your hands. Just know that…

********************************************

  • How many of us are feeling forgotten because of blessings that others have received and we haven’t received ours?
  • Are we looking for and desiring the wrong things?
  • Do the things we yearn for add value to the reasons we are on earth or are they distractions and deterrents to us reaching our pre-determined destiny?
  • Do we even know why we are here and what we need to complete for our Father before HE calls us home?

It is time to begin to ask these questions if we haven’t already begun and make course corrections to the right track.

Shalom

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