Monthly Archives: April 2016

Shaken Up – 1

IMG_20151209_064516Hi Diane

Hi Jean

How are things


Only ok?

Sure, what do you want me to say….Great?

I was hoping for a more excited answer that is all


That is how you normally are…

Sorry…I hit a bump in the road and it is taking its toll

What happened?

Nothing really unusual. I was so focused on my job and didn’t read the signs well or the organisational climate so was blindsided by the upcoming retrenchment.
Wow…are you one of those earmarked for retrenchment?


And you didn’t see it coming?

Not in my wildest dreams

How come?

I am good at what I do? I serve a critical function, I had just aced my mid-term evaluation, my boss was clear that I am invaluable to the team…surely why would I think I would face the axe?

IMG_20151209_064513Wow! So how is your heart?

You don’t want to know

I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know for sure

Well, right now I think God is a hoax and a liar

Big accusations girl…do you want to level them against him?

David did the same, why shouldn’t I?


All through the Psalms we see two sides of David’s conversations with God. One time he is all deep and thankful with the relationship and other times he asks God why he has forsaken him and left him to die or why his enemies are having a field day at his expense. If David could, why can’t I?

Ok, you have a point. Do you really think God is a liar and a hoax?

Well, not really but I think it becomes hard to see much else when I think He could do better and give me a heads up when things are about to hit the fan.

Why the hardline stance? Has this happened before?


How many times?

More than three.


Now you get my frustration?

Yes I do. However, how is it that you are always caught off guard?

That is my big question. I am working and knowing I am where God wants me to be, doing what He says I do then boom! It is over and I am out.

Is that how you closed your business and looked for employment?


Did you ask Him about getting a job?

Duh!!! Did you want my family to starve as I sat around and waited on God?

He wouldn’t let you starve, you know?

Surely gal, are you out of your mind? Our water had been cut, power was about to be disconnected, I hadn’t paid the nanny for two months, my two children were about to be kicked out of school for non-payment of fees…surely…it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that I was on the way to failure. I had to do something.

IMG_20151209_064500Did you run it by Him or did you just take a job?

I asked Him for a way and the position opened up and I took it.

How did you know it was God?

I had peace about it, they offered exactly what I had told God I wanted and they accepted my request for flexibility in hours as long as I finished my task. It was the best job I had and not it is gone.

Have you already been released?

Nope…we have been given three months notice.

Why three months?

I think they need to liquidate things and get the offices in order so they don’t collapse when we leave.

How many are leaving?

Close to half the team.

Wow. So what are you going to do for the next three months?

Work I guess.

Work you guess? Surely you know that God would have you do the same level of commitment that you have always done.

Really…and why is that?

Simple, He is God and His children must always showcase Him and His greatness

And what greatness does He have right now as He watches me suffer?

Surely you aren’t suffering yet…you are just anticipating to suffer and if you anticipate it, it will surely come and it will be heavy.

So what are you saying?

You need to go back to God, yes the one you so confidently called a liar and a hoax and tell Him that is how you feel. Then ask Him how to move on from  here.

IMG_20151209_064505And you think He will answer me?

Hasn’t He always answered you?


So why should today be any different

I am honestly scared that He will tell me something I don’t want to hear.

That is indeed possible and He can do that but He is God and I believe that His way is the best way.


I also think you need to ask Him how to work over the next three months as He allows you to transition out of your workplace.

How to work?

Yes, what attitude to take, how do deal with people, what position to take, how to encourage others, what to share, where to eat…the list is endless

And why would I want to do that?

Because as a child of God your walk must always be an encouragement to others even when it is clear like night and day that you are struggling with the same things they are. You cannot afford to be just another person with the same bad and angry attitude while you say your God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. You must live like someone with hope and faith and confidence that there is light ahead and a clear path of provision in the desert.

IMG_20151209_064958Urrrggghhh! Why do I ever look for you?

Hahahaha….you didn’t remember, I called you.

Really? Uuurrrggghhh!!!!!


Nothing much!

Ok, time for you to talk to your Father…let me know how it goes.


Talk to your Father, tell Him where it hurts and allow Him to guide you on the way.

Clarity Required

Dear Lord,

I thank you for the gift of life. I thank you that you order our step. Yet Lord I have so many questions and very few answers. I want to know so many things but they seem to elude me. since I have no one else to ask, I guess I will ask You:

  • How come some are so happy in life and others are so sad?
  • How come some are so successful with seemingly little effort and others are doing so badly with so much effort?
  • How is it that some care so much and others are so nonchalant?
  • How is it that there is such anger and hatred in the world yet a little love will go a long way?
  • Where did compassion and commitment go and what gave rise to all the selfishness around us?
  • How come many in high positions never care about the lives of those in lower positions than them yet many of them started out from the same place?
  • Where is the love and compassion that you easily embody in your people?
  • Do your people really trust you?
  • How can two people be friends yet one is more committed and unhappy while the other is seemingly nonchalant and happy? Where is the equity in the friendship?
  • Are we even walking in your ways and hearing your voice? Where are we going off track and how do we get back?

The list is so endless yet my heart craves answers

Over and over Your word calls us to walk in agreement, yet over and over You put people together who seemed to be is such disagreement. I am thinking of Abraham and Sarah, Abigail and …., Jacob and Racheal and the clincher is Christ and the disciples. How come it took so much and so long for them to understand the gravity and intensity of the man who walked among them? Are we too still unaware of the gravity and intensity of He who lives within us?

Your word is clear that walking with You is a privilege yet for many of us it is the one thing we don’t want to do. We want to continue to determine the way we walk and chalk up our fruit to personal effort.

Father, I feel like I am at a major crossroad and I don’t really know where to turn. I need Your perfect instruction and guidance and leading to make the right choice. So often we find ourselves in places that we thought were perfect only for something to change and we realise that the thing we thought was perfect was a shadow compared to what you had stored up for us. I want that thing that You have stored up for me and nothing less

I know there are others at similar crossroads, let us all lean into You and hear from you for You are our lifeline and lifeblood…without  You we are nothing more than a fleeting wind or a flower soon to be gone. Lead us deeper into Your love and Your care that we may remember the depth, breadth and height of our love and instruction. Draw us unto Yourself over and over, daily and moment by moment that we may be true to You and showcase the true reality of You alive in our hearts.

All we need is You Lord to lead and guide us.

It is so in You.

He Answers Always – Fruit & Process

When I spoke to God initially I wasn’t sure that He would be interested enough in this simple guy to reach back. Imagine my surprise when I opened my mail and found Ben had forwarded a message to me. Why surprised? No one other than I knew the depths of searching in my heart yet here was a guy sending me what I really needed to hear. Wasn’t that strange? Of course to some it was the usual answer to prayer but to me it was like heaven had opened and God has delivered a personal care package to me in the middle of a sandstorm in the desert. How did He find me? How did He know what to say? Why was He so interested in me? I still don’t know but I think is something I needed to share so here goes….



Can You Hear The Sound Of The Abundance Of Rain?? Here It Is.. The Turning Point Has Been Met.. From Barrage To Breakthrough And Blessing!!!

by Lana Vawser

This morning I kept hearing Amos 9:13-15 over and over again..

“Yes indeed, it won’t be long now.” God’s Decree. “Things are going to happen so fast your head will swim, one thing fast on the heels of the other. You won’t be able to keep up. Everything will be happening at once—and everywhere you look, blessings! Blessings like wine pouring off the mountains and hills. I’ll make everything right again for my people Israel: “They’ll rebuild their ruined cities. They’ll plant vineyards and drink good wine. They’ll work their gardens and eat fresh vegetables. And I’ll plant them, plant them on their own land. They’ll never again be uprooted from the land I’ve given them.” God, your God, says so. (Amos 9:13-15 – MSG)

I could then hear the sound of rain.. HEAVY RAIN and as it RAINED HEAVILY Amos 9:13-15 boomed ALL around me. I then heard the words:

“Where there is been such a BARRAGE of assaults, attacks and opposition against My people, where they have become weary from the BARRAGE, there is a REST being released right now in Me in the SHIFT of the SEASON. The TURNING HAS BEGUN!!!! BARRAGE TO BREAKTHROUGH AND BLESSING! The winds of My Spirit have been blowing releasing great change, great shift, and now there is the HEAVY RAIN of My Spirit being released that is exploding BLESSING and BREAKTHROUGH ALL AROUND. Many have felt the rumblings of the breakthrough beginning, it has begun to spring forth, there has been a trickle, but the trickle is picking up momentum by the breath of My Spirit and that trickle is about to gain SO MUCH PACE and ACCELERATION and become a TIDAL WAVE. Where many have felt like they were drowning in a TIDAL WAVE of opposition or hardship and one thing after another, there is a TIDAL WAVE OF BREAKTHROUGH and BLESSING all around that is manifesting all over the earth. Even in the darkest and most dire circumstances, I am bringing BREAKTHROUGH and BLESSING! It may be packaged differently than you expect, but the RAIN is here! The LATTER rain will be greater than the FORMER RAIN!!!! Such deep rest, rejuvenation, restoration and refreshment is being poured out all across the world to My people. Keep snuggling into His heart! SO much is about to CHANGE!!!!! He is moving and releasing GAME CHANGERS!!!!”



Billy mugambi 1

Photo courtesy of Billy Mugambi

Seeking the Root – Fruit & Process

roots reddit dot com

Photo courtesy of

Dear God,

John here. I know we haven’t spoken for a while but sitting here with Daud makes me want to speak to you and know whether you still exist and are still waiting for people to reach you.

Is all he is saying about you true? Do you really want to know me better and lead me? Can i really trust you like he says he does or is that reserved for a select few? Will my life really change when we meet? Do I even want to change my life or am just comfortable with it as it is?

I don’t get it. All my life I have known you yet here is someone who seems to know you deeper? Do you select who You want to be close to or is it open to all of us? Somehow it has always felt like a selection club…a bunch of favourites and I have been passed over for selection. Yet if what Daud is saying is true, then You actually love and care for me for who I am. Is it actually possible that you would look on me in love despite all the things I have done in the past? Is it actually possible that you would love me and want to be connected and related to me? I have always sorted things out for myself and never really needed external help, why would I need help now? I have my networks that work and contacts that come through, what more do I need?

Surely if my redemption is really that important and in your plan you need to do more than just sit there and wait for me to come to you. Why don’t you just show and we can have a face to face chat about life and the way forward?

roots colourbox dot com

Photo courtesy of

I am so tired of this routine of keeping appearances and hiding my questions on the inside and you know that in my position and at my status there are very few people I can ask questions like this. The last time I had a discussion of these nature with my sister and her friends it was all out there that I was in a life crisis and it really cost me too much at work. If you are really interested in me, make a way for me to see you and understand or at least, begin to understand that you are interested in me.

That said, I don’t want embarrassing scenarios, I don’t want people praying over me casting out devils (because they have tried), I don’t want my stuff exposed to the rest of the world. I am a private person and I need you to deal with me privately. In fact, if you can keep people out of my stuff and do this thing that you do as silently as you did for Daud…I’d appreciate. Then don’t ask me to share with others or testify about the change in my life. I am not that kind of person. I know you are good and that you care for people so please do me those simple favours and I would really appreciate.

So…I’m waiting to hear from you soon.


Get to the root of the matter