Shaken Up – 1

IMG_20151209_064516Hi Diane

Hi Jean

How are things

Ok.

Only ok?

Sure, what do you want me to say….Great?

I was hoping for a more excited answer that is all

Why?

That is how you normally are…

Sorry…I hit a bump in the road and it is taking its toll

What happened?

Nothing really unusual. I was so focused on my job and didn’t read the signs well or the organisational climate so was blindsided by the upcoming retrenchment.
Wow…are you one of those earmarked for retrenchment?

Yup!

And you didn’t see it coming?

Not in my wildest dreams

How come?

I am good at what I do? I serve a critical function, I had just aced my mid-term evaluation, my boss was clear that I am invaluable to the team…surely why would I think I would face the axe?

IMG_20151209_064513Wow! So how is your heart?

You don’t want to know

I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know for sure

Well, right now I think God is a hoax and a liar

Big accusations girl…do you want to level them against him?

David did the same, why shouldn’t I?

What?

All through the Psalms we see two sides of David’s conversations with God. One time he is all deep and thankful with the relationship and other times he asks God why he has forsaken him and left him to die or why his enemies are having a field day at his expense. If David could, why can’t I?

Ok, you have a point. Do you really think God is a liar and a hoax?

Well, not really but I think it becomes hard to see much else when I think He could do better and give me a heads up when things are about to hit the fan.

Why the hardline stance? Has this happened before?

Sure.

How many times?

More than three.

Ouch!

Now you get my frustration?

Yes I do. However, how is it that you are always caught off guard?

That is my big question. I am working and knowing I am where God wants me to be, doing what He says I do then boom! It is over and I am out.

Is that how you closed your business and looked for employment?

Yup!

Did you ask Him about getting a job?

Duh!!! Did you want my family to starve as I sat around and waited on God?

He wouldn’t let you starve, you know?

Surely gal, are you out of your mind? Our water had been cut, power was about to be disconnected, I hadn’t paid the nanny for two months, my two children were about to be kicked out of school for non-payment of fees…surely…it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that I was on the way to failure. I had to do something.

IMG_20151209_064500Did you run it by Him or did you just take a job?

I asked Him for a way and the position opened up and I took it.

How did you know it was God?

I had peace about it, they offered exactly what I had told God I wanted and they accepted my request for flexibility in hours as long as I finished my task. It was the best job I had and not it is gone.

Have you already been released?

Nope…we have been given three months notice.

Why three months?

I think they need to liquidate things and get the offices in order so they don’t collapse when we leave.

How many are leaving?

Close to half the team.

Wow. So what are you going to do for the next three months?

Work I guess.

Work you guess? Surely you know that God would have you do the same level of commitment that you have always done.

Really…and why is that?

Simple, He is God and His children must always showcase Him and His greatness

And what greatness does He have right now as He watches me suffer?

Surely you aren’t suffering yet…you are just anticipating to suffer and if you anticipate it, it will surely come and it will be heavy.

So what are you saying?

You need to go back to God, yes the one you so confidently called a liar and a hoax and tell Him that is how you feel. Then ask Him how to move on from  here.

IMG_20151209_064505And you think He will answer me?

Hasn’t He always answered you?

Yes.

So why should today be any different

I am honestly scared that He will tell me something I don’t want to hear.

That is indeed possible and He can do that but He is God and I believe that His way is the best way.

Mmmhhhhh…

I also think you need to ask Him how to work over the next three months as He allows you to transition out of your workplace.

How to work?

Yes, what attitude to take, how do deal with people, what position to take, how to encourage others, what to share, where to eat…the list is endless

And why would I want to do that?

Because as a child of God your walk must always be an encouragement to others even when it is clear like night and day that you are struggling with the same things they are. You cannot afford to be just another person with the same bad and angry attitude while you say your God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. You must live like someone with hope and faith and confidence that there is light ahead and a clear path of provision in the desert.

IMG_20151209_064958Urrrggghhh! Why do I ever look for you?

Hahahaha….you didn’t remember, I called you.

Really? Uuurrrggghhh!!!!!

What?

Nothing much!

Ok, time for you to talk to your Father…let me know how it goes.

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Talk to your Father, tell Him where it hurts and allow Him to guide you on the way.

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