Life Under Fire


2013-04-20 12.36.23Hey Diane,

What’s going on Sue?

Oh, nothing much really. I was just checking on you

I’m good

I hear you got a new job.

Yup!

How is that going?

It’s challenging

Really?

Absolutely

I find that hard to believe?

What?

The fact that your work is challenging.

Why is that so hard to believe?

You have always done well for yourself and nothing seems to faze you so I guess you should be used to a good life

What do you mean I’ve always done well for myself?

You have always had good jobs and lived large?

Lived large?

Sure…look at how put together you are and your kids too.

You have no idea how my life has been

What do you mean that I have no idea how your life has been? It can’t have been hard. Just look at how you dress and how your children interact with people. It is full of airs and poise and not you want me to believe something else?

Things aren’t always as they seem.

What do you want me to believe?

We have had a period of lack and hardship probably like you could never imagine.

Hahaha…that just isn’t possible

Why do you say that?

You are always so together and smiling

I don’t have to sulk or pout to let everyone know things are hard

That’s just it, you never show that your life is hard?

It like I said, it doesn’t have to be on my face for me to be going through hardship

2013-04-20 12.38.27I don’t believe you…our struggles show on all our faces

Trust me…the reality doesn’t have to show on our faces

Why?

Because often the world around isn’t interested or doesn’t need to know what is going on

Isn’t that hypocritical to do that?

Not really

Why?

My life and the drama in it isn’t for public consumption. This is a private walk and relationship with my Father and there will be very hard times and experiences in my life that I never talk about.

Like what?

Have you or your family ever gone hungry?

Eh no! have you?

Very nearly. Has your fridge ever been empty?

Never! Why would it be?

Because you don’t have a means to get food.

Meaning you don’t have money?

There are other means to get food.

Like what, stealing, begging…what?

Working in exchange for food.

Really?

Sure. Another question for you. Do you know the sublime terror of watching the food in the house run out and know you cannot afford more? Has your child ever asked for something to eat and there is nothing?

Never!!! Why do I work? Why do I go out every day other than to give my children the very best?

What if you didn’t have a job or a source of income to support your family? What if you are stuck in a place you can’t get out of and the debt is climbing?

And why wouldn’t I have a job or a source of income? I’m a graduate and good at what I do so I will always have a job.

2013-04-20 12.35.08What if you got retrenched?

Retrenched?

Yes…downsized?

Why would that happen?

Don’t you know that organisations are doing this?

Of course but you must exit before the axe falls

What if it happens without notice?

As in you go to work today and come home without a job? What kind of company would you be working for that would do that without notice?

Remember where I worked?

Of course, it was one of the most stable firms around

Well did you know that they cut the work force to less than half and I was one of those asked to leave?

How? You were such a great worker and being primed for management.

Well, I was indeed axed unexpectedly and my only saving grace was that we got three month’s notice.

What? Please tell me you quit and didn’t serve the notice.

Now! How could I do that? I have children I need to provide for

Are you serious? You worked for three months knowing that you would be unemployed at the end of it?

Yes.

Why? Surely you could have left and started off somewhere else.

Where?

Why didn’t you find a job?

I tried and applied for every opportunity I saw or heard about and I didn’t make much progress so I kept working.

But that is a cop-out

What do you mean?

You settled to wait for your dismissal yet you could have done something about it.

Something like what? I’ve already said I looked, applied and followed up to no avail. I prayed and got all my friends at church praying. I had my family and friends looking for positions for me and passing all information they had to me…What else could I have done?

2013-04-20 12.36.39I believe that when you have done all you can, go an extra step.

What else could I have done?

You could have started a business

I have never been inclined that way so where would I start? What would I do? How would I grow it? I was stranded.

You could have called me.

Really? I tried but your number was no longer in service, your email was bouncing and your family wouldn’t give me your number. Let’s be real girl, there are things you aren’t telling me that were going on and you are using my period of challenge to make me feel bad about myself…that’s not right and I won’t sit here and be made to feel less than acceptable for that. If you have something to say come clean and get it off your chest or walk away but I won’t be treated like I haven’t done enough just because you think you have done so well.

Mmmmhhh…I don’t know what you mean.

In that case, let me not waste more of your time. It was great seeing you and have a great day.

Diane stood up and walked away leaving Sue seated at the table alone.

****************

Father, we agreed that I draw the line when people start to judge me for choices I have made in You. I know the way I walk is different from most but I had hoped you would protect me from having to slug it out with people. Clearly the game plan has changed. To be honest,  I want to throttle Sue right now but I know I can’t because she doesn’t understand where I am and where we are going together. How can I be a better example of You and Your love even as today I have responded with a hot head and walked away? It hurts Lord, but I need Your help to make things work to Your honour and glory. Help me Lord, because I know that You are all I need and You are the one who will make it all right. Help me too Father because I am clueless, angry and scared yet I thought we had covered and overcome these bases last time…help me because I don’t know what to do and I am in over my head. I know I can always trust you. It is all done in You.

****************

Diane…Diane…please wait…

 

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