You have been and continue to be the strength of my life and I don’t know how else to live. I have sought you and you have answered. In all honesty, the answers haven’t been the ones I have expected but in hindsight, they have been the best answers I ever received. Hindsight is 20:20.
Sitting at the feet of one of your sons I learnt something new…
“The Obstacles I meet are not designed for me to fight.” When I heard that I was stumped because I was raised to fight against things that stand in the way of my good. In that lesson, it struck me that I can only fight what God tells me to fight and often the things I must fight against are the things that are blocking my inheritance.
It was striking that You Lord have allowed the thorn in my flesh for a reason…yes there is a reason. You have allowed that thorn so that it can produce more of You in me. Very often, the thorn I’m fighting is needed for my inheritance and my coming out. I have the choice to settle for removal of the thorn and have physical satisfaction but lose the inheritance OR leave the thorn be and work with God for His plan. That way, the thorn produces the right fruit and once the right fruit is produced You bring relief.
The last few days, weeks and months have been really hard in regular perspectives but I have learnt to trust You are the best leader in the walk called life. The thing I was left saying was I want to get to the place of hope as described in Hebrews 6:17-20…
Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath, that by two immutable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us. This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil.
This hope remains steady even when the thorn in my flesh is so painful, bothersome and doesn’t seem likely to be removed. When You said the thorn MUST produce more of You and only You can remove it, I begun to understand that to have the matters I want immediate resolution for settled ahead of Your time is to stall my process and hence stop me from producing fully mature fruit to Your glory. I also realized that the process is still on-going because the very thing that caused me such extreme pain only 6 days ago is now so clearly trigger to fully indicate where I am in my journey and allow me to course correct daily.
Now I begin to truly understand that nothing is by chance and any situation when seen through Your perspective can and does produce more of You daily. I stand amazed at Your love for me and Your determination that I produce ONLY YOU. The reality that You won’t judge my walk by how much property I have rather by how closely I walk with You, hit me right between the eyes. Even as I still have learning and growing ahead I press on knowing afresh that You are at work in me. You provide for my needs according to Your riches in glory, You never let me down, You open and close doors as would help me bring you out…You are God alone and I choose once again to seek You above all else and find the peace that is set in You.
It is done in Your Name.