Am I really who I say I am?


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There are many things I have said I am but this year has made me rethink some of them.

Jean, you are now confusing me.

What do you mean Bo?

You are making life too hard and making me think too much.

It’s really not that hard Bo! As I have assessed myself, I realised that I need to be sure I am all that I am talking about or at the very least I am actively growing into it.

Please explain in English!

If I say I am patient and I am not yet there I must grow into it.

How?

Some say life will conspire to create it in me but I say, God will allow things to happen that will test that hypothesis for truth. The same is true with the prayers we pray.

Ok….

There is a song I love that says…’Make me righteous and holy, make me holy for you are holy, and purify me, with your presence…holy Lord.” I have sung along for a long time but this year, every time I hear that song I am conscious that I must be sure I really mean it.

Why?

If I mean that prayer, then I am ready for God to test the hypothesis.

And…..

I will stay put in the circumstances He allows because they will force me to respond and produce the very things I am singing.

Explain….

Righteousness isn’t something pulled out of a hat like a rabbit. It is a posture, a state of continual growth, a deep desire to get closer to God that yields His desired end for me.

Isn’t His desired end for you the same as your desired end?

Not when I was first starting out.

Why?

There were days I just feel like going His way as so hard and it is easier to just play it safe.

How is that bad?

If I play it safe and stay on the path I like, I will never attain perfection.

But there is nothing like perfection in this world!

By perfection I mean, getting to live my life exactly as he has predetermined I would live it.

Is that even possible?

Of course it is.

How?

By walking with God.

Don’t we all walk with God?

Do we?

I don’t know…you are the one who is thinking here so carry on.

Hahahaha….we are thinking together.

Nope. It’s you thinking so explain your thoughts.

Walking with God has to be more than just talk and religious practise. It is about relationship and relationship is about on going communication, on-going responsiveness and course correction. It is about listening and acting on instructions given. It is very, very active.

Ok…

This last week has taught me that walking with God is so much more than lingo

Lingo?

The things we say, like I am blessed, praise the Lord, the Lord is good or God bless you.

Those aren’t bad things to say are they?

Nope! The question is, what do they mean and what do they deliver to the person I say them to.

Really? Why are you making life so hard?

I am not, I just realised I must be deliberate about what comes out of me if I am going to be the mouth, hands and feet of Jesus.

Eish!!!! Now you are complicating life.

Am i? Don’t you want to be deliberate about how you live?

I do but….

But what?

It is too much work.

When you were training to be a doctor, did you ever say it is too much work to train?

No!

So why is it too much work to become the appointed person for God? Is it easy? No! It often seems impossible because there’s so much learning and a need to connect on a deeper level with God before I can even dare to say that I am on the way.

How do you learn?

Reading the word, listening to God for clear directions of where I need to go and how I need to engage and who I need to align with.

Daily?

What daily?

Doing all those things daily?

Yes, living in conversation with God moment by moment.

So is it true?

What?

That you are not who you said you are?

Yes, it is true! I am not yet who I said I am But, I am on the way there, one step, moment, day, year at a time. What about you?

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