There was once a little girl just eighteen months old the youngest of three siblings. She loved following her brother because it was fun though she could hardly keep up with him yet that didn’t stop her and she did her best to keep up.
One day, as her siblings played outside, the neighbour’s dog crossed the fence and came chasing after them. As all children do, they took off as fast as their little feet could carry them towards the house. It wasn’t really that far but for these two little ones it seemed like miles. Two sets of feet slapping the ground, hearts in their throats and screaming in terror as this big, scary dog gained ground on them.
In the nick of time, they reached the door slid in and slammed it in the face of the dog to a yelp as the slid into the door unable to fully stop. They couldn’t catch their breath before a high pitched scream came from behind them followed by gut wrenching cries of pain. The nanny turned from the fridge…oh God! Sweetie’s finger was caught between the door and the frame on the hinge side and blood was pooling on the floor at the joint.
She quickly opened the door and freed the finger to find the bone was splintered and the top part of her finger was mostly severed. Nanny ran upstairs with sweetie in her arms to administer first aid and call for help. Sweetie cried her little heart out and only exhaustion stopped her incessant wailing as they waited for help to arrive.
Her finger healed over time but she was left with one strange looking finger for life.
This is the story of my life and my ring finger is totally different from the rest and I kept it hidden for a long time. Many of my classmates and acquaintances when I was younger never saw it because I kept my fingers clasped or folded my arms folded to keep the ‘offending’ finger hidden.
It took a long time for me to accept this finger. The doctor who treated me didn’t even expect me to have a nail but a curved one grew. I had a thick scab on the palm side that started softening when I turned 13 and eventually faded when I was in high school. In the end my finger is a good centimetre shorter than its counterpart on the right hand.
When I was in campus, I found a solution; I bought a silver ring. Now instead of noticing my finger people saw the ring and I gained confidence. This uncertainty changed when a dear friend saw my finger and he couldn’t get over it. I tried to hide it but he held my hand and looked at it turning my hand over again and again; even he ring could not distract him. Each time I tried to hide it, he held my hand open. He would look at my finger often and when I asked what he saw he said beauty. This attention changed my perception of my finger; it was slowly becoming beautiful, a gift, an expression of love…God’s love.
I have learnt to love this strange finger and understand it is indeed beautiful. When I have a manicure done I have to give precise instructions on how to put the polish so that it doesn’t peel or look uneven. I couldn’t learn typing on the manual typewriters because of the shorter length but I have since found ways around this and a few other things.
This week I’ve looked at my left hand a lot and I have been struck once again by its beauty then realised…I am different. There is no one else in this world like me; my finger is living proof of this. Nothing can make this finger ‘regular or normal’ but who says it has to be? Nothing needs to be like the rest. It has value just as it is and so do I.
I am different from everyone around me BECAUSE God has a plan for me premised on all the ‘odd’ things He put into me. As I spend time with him and learn to see myself as He sees me, He will unlock the truth of all He sees in me and make Himself manifest on the face of the earth.
Acceptance of all that is in me is the door to freedom and real impact for God.
1 Oh Lord, you have searched me and know me; 2b You understand my thought afar off; 3 You comprehend my path…and are acquainted with all my ways; 11 For you formed my inward parts, You covered me in my mother’s womb; 17 How precious are your thoughts to me o God! how great the sum of them Ps 139