The conversation so far has been about food but exercise was in the mix from day six.
I was patting myself on the back about being good, posting pictures for coach to see what I was eating and really biding time; when I was younger we used to call it mark timing. It was interesting to see my food choices and I was so fascinated there so I simply stayed. I also too scared to exercise lest I made a fool of myself and stopped in the process.
Alas, nothing passes coach. You know those people who remember what you told them you will do and keep you accountable? That is my coach. He watched and waited and watched and waited but after four days of nothing, he voiced his concerns in his calm voice. I have never heard him raise his voice at anyone, and he has never told me off without a calm voice…oh, I digress.
You’re on point, so far, with food. Workouts are yet to be done
Yeah, I need to get gear and I don’t know what to do
Hahahaha….even as I said it I know that wouldn’t last and for sure a couple minutes later there are three sets of links in the chat (eye roll). How is it this one person is so intent on pushing me? Can’t a girl get a break?
Those two can be remedied easily.
Have you seen the links?
Look through them and let me know which works
So you will work out today?
Like really? Can’t I just have a day off and figure out what I am going to do and when and then tell him? Does he have to be so intent?
Ok, I’ll check in later.
That is when it all came rushing in. It isn’t that I didn’t want to work out, not at all. I just didn’t want to say I would do something and then fail at it. Does that make sense? The thing that had held me in the place of indecision was fear. How many other times had I started a routine that didn’t go anywhere? How many times had I worked out and hurt myself? How often had I asked for advice and been told just look online?
If I was going to do this task and do it well I would have to dig deep and face these fears and uncertainties and win. I would have to be sure of the steps I am taking and learn to ask for help with I didn’t know. I would have to get out of my place of comfort and try new things and fail or not to them too well then rise again and conquer.
That is when I remembered that my Father in Heaven has promised to be with me even to the end of the age and since he is the one who got me on this path he has a plan for my good that begun here…facing the things I feared most, trusting him to carry me through to the other side and just stay the course.
So I started that day. It wasn’t all that but I was determined to start. I would do at least one exercise if that was all I could do and I did. Alas! First of all it wasn’t one and it wasn’t as hard as I had thought it would be. Oh I was out of shape but I was also not totally lost either.
I finished and was making breakfast for my boys when the lil man walked in, looked at me and said, ‘Mum you look really nice.’ Oh precious, even as it wasn’t about the fat I had lost, it was the strength I needed to commit to the process.
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he [it is] that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. Deuteronomy 31:6