A few days ago, I was thinking about this journey and I realised that it is like none other I had ever done. I thought it was just about weight loss and health but have discovered that is the excuse God has used to get my attention and teach me many lessons.
I write for a living and some of my recent work has been more intense than I could even explain. It was sectors I had never tackled and with intensity and short notice like nothing I knew. It was easy to stop and panic and a couple of times I actually did. Several times I sat at my computer to work and my mind went blank… totally blank. A couple of days I sat there all day and nothing came. That is terrifying especially when there is a deadline fast approaching. Yet only God could get me out of there and He was strangely silent.
One of those days, I was off kilter because of the pressure. I couldn’t do much until God impressed a good friend on my heart. As I settled in to pray with my friend I was led to listen to the words coming out of my mouth in prayer. Alas!!! It was as if as I was praying for her I was also praying for me from a place of deep understanding that I didn’t have before. I could clearly see where she was, what she was going through and how it tied into my own process. Later God highlighted another friend and as we prayed together, He once again tied my prayer and process to my friend’s life. The terror they both felt was the same terror I was feeling. It was like we were standing on faith but seeing no visible intervention. We were at the very end of ourselves and there was no solution in sight.
It was standing on the edge of a cliff and God says jump and there’s no visible safety net, just His clear command in your ear. Yet despite the terror in your soul, you jump because the God of all creation has said jump. You go free falling at one hundred kilometres an hour seeing the solid ground getting closer alarmingly fast and you scream at the top of your lungs in sheer terror then peace, bliss, arms around you. At that moment you discover that He was always flying beneath you ready to pick you up as a mother eagle swoops done to catch her chick that she has actually tossed out of the nest.
As if that isn’t enough, He takes you back up to that same perch and tells you, ‘Jump!’ This time it is different because you jump again knowing full well that your Father is there and He will not let you shatter and if He does let you fall there is a reason. Yes! There is a reason. For so many years the statements that ‘God knows’ and ‘there is always a reason,’ were so cliché to me. It was the kind of thing that used to tell me someone has nothing to say so they latch onto these statements. This season has taught and continues to teach me that indeed, God has a plan and He knows the reason it all happens.
Trust your Father, just trust him. There is a capacity He sees in you so He has allowed your life to unfold as it is. There is a supernatural way He will cause you to understand His presence and plan then unfold and manifest Himself through you. The only condition is that you must give Him the reins and allow Him to lead you.
In these moments I learnt to trust my Father.