Still…I must get past it

‘What is the plan for this new season? What is God saying about this new start?’ My mentor asked.

I know she wasn’t just putting me on the spot but she was asking from her meditations. She was asking because it was important that I kept in mind the reason I was on this path. After all, nothing works like a clear vision and reason to keep going.

‘I am still on discipline and consistency, it hasn’t changed.’ I replied.

The word ‘still’ caught my attention. Still presupposes that there is more learning needed as the thing sought hasn’t come fully or reached the fullness of what could be. Still means there is space to grow from the constant presence. Still means the mark is yet to be fully attained. So I was still in the class about discipline and consistency.

It is four months and twenty-three days since we started and we were still on the same learning curve with God. Is this where I should be? Is it that I hadn’t reached a certain target or I hadn’t connected to something? Is it that I am or have been lost and need course correction? Are we working on a higher level of where I have come from? What is it that we are back here for another season?

Consistency shocked me because I had become totally consistent to a fault. My body would refuse to rest if I hadn’t worked out but the fact we were still here meant that something hadn’t been attained. Discipline too had been attained for a period and progress has been made, so what is it? Several things stand out for me:

  1. I haven’t reached my target weight.
  2. I was still on the elementary stage of the workout regime so there are still stages to reach.
  3. I have been avoiding certain exercises because my mind would say they are too hard and I’d change to something simpler.
  4. The fear of failure still sat somewhere in the vicinity waiting for me to miss a step and then run roughshod over me.
  5. A deeper level of faith still has to be activated through this process
  6. Class isn’t finished

So I am still growing into the fullness of who God sees me and there are challenges I must overcome that I may be the right person to help others. He showed me that this process is less about me and more about the lives for which I need to show an alternative. There are others who need to understand the possibilities by watching my journey. I have to become the fullness of God or we will all remain at the same level until I learn it all and commit to keep learning.

Learning never stops! I cannot say that I have been here for X months I need to move on.

Moving on is premised on my capacity to learn everything for this phase and then move on to the next phase regardless of the pain or process. Moving on demands I get comfortable with change and challenge, accept that life isn’t all smooth sailing but is a great mix of growing through the hard times and moving forward step by step.

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There is no downtime or space to just sit and do nothing. To walk with God is to be constantly about his business and doing what needs to be done to honour Him. Period!! ‘Still’ has to become fuel for the next level.

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