Account for Everything

bloom blooming blossom blur

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Growing always has to be in tandem with standards or at least guidelines and that is something we all walk away from one way or the other. I remember school and how we had to do things at certain times, in certain ways, with certain responses. It was a demand to be obedient, responsible and responsive. There were no exceptions to the rules without repercussions; and the repercussions were not easy.

I always thought I didn’t have challenges about accountability and keeping the rules but this process has brought out another side. It has been interesting because I didn’t know this side and so I struggled a bit. The move to be accountable was a choice I made but oh my…it was hard.

So many things were hard about being accountable.

First, someone else could ask questions about my progress. They could question my tactics, consistency, my food choices my weight. They could say I wasn’t applying myself or I was slacking off. They could challenge the intensity of my workout.

Second, there was no room for excuses. I couldn’t say I didn’t feel like working out or eating well. I couldn’t decide I just dint feel like something. I couldn’t say it was tiring. Oh, I could but the common response would be why? What made it so hard to do it today? How do we deal with the challenge?

Third, I saw myself clearly. Up until this moment, I had convinced myself that I was where I was because of the circumstances around me. I was sure I had done all I needed to do and life was just being unfair on me. I was certain that I had no regrets…until I begun this process and found I wasn’t pushing myself. I was doing very little thinking it was all I could do. All my weaknesses were on display for me to see and I didn’t want to look at or even acknowledge them.

Fourth, I was forced to take responsibility and change. No longer could I say I couldn’t do anything about things and that process entailed effort that I didn’t really want to expend at first but realized it was a choice I had made.

Fifth, I had to learn to trust others. I didn’t even know that I didn’t trust people to want the best for me. The demand to be accountable helped me realise just how I struggled to believe that people did anything just to help me. I was so used to being the one helping but I didn’t even want to need the support of others because I didn’t know if it was for my good or just to make themselves more prominent. Talk about a warped view that had to die.

The unravelling of my personal opinion of myself was the real reason I had challenges with accountability. It laid me bare, it clarified my vision of myself and forced me to be honest in a way I didn’t realise I hadn’t been.

  • What are you looking at that you don’t like about your life?
  • What do you need to deal with decisively or else you won’t move forward?
  • What do you need to accept as who you currently are and then choose an alternative path to follow?

Change is within your reach you; Reach out and succeed.

orange flower with butterfly

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