The Simple Life

Alone


I wake up every morning and look around my room and I am alone

I walk into my workplace, say hi to my colleagues and I am alone

I walk through the aisles in the supermarket picking my shopping and I am alone

I am sitting the table at a friends wedding laughing at all the stories but I am alone

I look across the room at my family and I am alone

I am the one entertaining you, cracking jokes and making you laugh but I am alone

I am the beauty walking past the guys turning their heads but I am alone

I am the girl dressed to the nines walking in to handle the mediation but I am alone

I am the self made business man, with every network one needs but I am alone

I see people around me with lovers and partners but I am alone

Photo courtesy of pixabay.com by Greyerbaby

I go home and sit on my bed and my heart breaks

I sit in my high end car with the windows tinted and closed wishing I really laughed

I look out of the window at the gardens but I just want to go away

I look through the racks of clothes looking for something new but I  know I wont feel better

I am looking at my spouse and children but it means nothing and I am alone

Alone is hard because it is a place in the heart, the mind and the soul

Alone is scary because no one knows about it and it is hard to explain

Alone is sad because I can’t share it because I keep being told to be grateful for what I have

Alone is a place I want to get out of but it has held me for so long I don’t know how

It takes more than an if you need anything call me comment

It needs more than let’s make time some day

It takes a lot to build the trust needed to keep things going

It is an all or nothing situation for me but maybe not for the other person

It is harder that anything I have dealt with

One day I may just need a long, pure hug…no expectations, strings attached or questions…just a hug

Another day I may need a long honest conversation…no judgment, shock or lies

The next day I may need a place to dump it all safely with no fear it will reappear beyond here

Yet another day I need to know I have someone in my corner who care about me no matter what

And another day, it would be a call and the refusal to let me hide in the background and dark

Picture courtesy of pixabay.com by josealbafotos

Don’t walk past me just because I look fine, but only ask how I am if you really want to know

Don’t accept blaze answers that sound good if you doubt them push me to tell you all

Don’t let my smile to confuse you about the state of my heart if you can see the look in my eyes

Don’t go away if you doubt I am not well I may not know how to ask for help

Come sit with me sometimes in silent other times in conversation

Take time to listen to me, really listen, listen to understand not to respond

Learn more about me by listening, watching, asking

Walk with me just alongside, holding my hand, an arm around my shoulder

Pray for me to find the strength to deal with the state of my life

Because ALONE is not where I want to stay…it is just where I am

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It sounds strange but there are and have been many times in the middle of a crowd or active work and project that people feel alone. It can feel like standing on a sand dune in the middle of the Sahara in the middle of a scorching day and no one can hear your cry for help. It didn’t matter that one would be in the middle of conversations and programs doing well keeping everyone happy but in all truth it is as if they are standing alone.

It is important to be aware of the people around us even when it all looks well. If you have a concern about a friend or family member, reach out even when they say they are fine keep coming back. Don’t badger them all at once but let them know that they are important to you and you are not going away. If you cannot be consistently available or can no longer cope being the support structure, be honest with your person and walk away. When we are honest with ourselves about our abilities and capacities to support one another, we give each other a fair chance to be whole or at least aware what is available to them.

Don’t walk alone and don’t let someone else walk alone.