Many times I have struggled with things because I haven’t had the capacity to go on against seemingly insurmountable odds. There have been days when I can’t tell my right from my left hand because of the fog of distress and I have had to find a way through and the thing that will push me through.
In time I have come to understand that believing makes it possible to keep going.
Daddy has always talked about how easy it is to walk with God and I always had so many questions about that. It often felt like I was working against a wall that wouldn’t move no matter how hard I prayed, lived out and confessed the words of faith and promises of God. That is really unsettling because it is the heart of life. So either I break down or something gives and because my Father won’t allow me to give up (even as he lets others do so) I have to push through and make it work.
Pushing through forced me to really look deep within as always and it shocked me how little I actually believed. Wow!!! It was so much deeper than I thought and I had to walk through it and overcome. I had to find a reality that would keep producing life in and for me so that I didn’t come back to this place again. I needed to ensure that even if we come back to the belief conversation it would always be a higher level otherwise I would be like the children of Israel going round the mountain for forty years. No!!! Not Me!!
To believe means that my heart, mind and soul are on the same page… STEADFAST & SOLID on the WORD God spoke to me even when it seems it is not working, tears are flowing and my heart is lonely. It is all about being STABLE when all systems say it won’t work and I want to just break down and cry. Remember it is about oneness of heart, mind and soul in alignment with a clear and confirmed word from God.
To believe isn’t about EMPTY WORDS or fake it till I make it. It is about burrowing down, tunnelling through the pain and pushing through the desperation and darkness because the word God gave right into my heart, mind and spirit is confirmed. It is moving forward until the words I hear and say are one and they are the confirmed truth of my life.
To believe is to KNOW that in time, every step, breath, thought and day will get brighter and lighter. Some days are harder than others. Some days I need a hug to get through. Some days I sit in the corner smiling but my heart is crying. Some days I lean heavily on my people and their love holds me up and to account so that I can make it through. Yet in time the WORD will become the true foundation; the pillar that holds my life.
To believe takes my walk with God to the NEXT LEVEL. It is the fuel to sate my deep desire to know, love and follow Him and be changed by the experience. I love that walking with God isn’t static. It is active, dynamic, continually growing and giving; it is challenging because it is nothing like what we give each other.
To love God fully shifts how we relate to one another because he gives a new road map.