She Pushed & I Became

It was so easy to walk with my head up outside yet it is down inside

It was so easy to smile at people and be weeping inside

It was so easy to dress to the nines and be naked on the inside

It was just too easy to fake it all.

I lived ‘fake it till you make it,’ so well

My young life looked glamorous because of my parents work

My adult life looked put together because that is the front I showed

It was too easy to fake it all.

It was easy to be in every project and seem to thrive

It was easy to get a kick from negotiating fees for projects

It was easy to sell a concept to a client or supplier

It was too easy to fake it all.

It all fell apart one day when the business couldn’t pay our bills

It fell apart when my largest supplier called me and pinned me down

It fell apart when we realised just how deeply we were in debt

The outcome was unreal.

We couldn’t pay the staff  their salaries

We were behind in rent and bills

Our suppliers were calling every day for pay

It was all messed up.

I remember Mercy very well because she embodied mercy

We owed her over six figures and she was following up

She wanted to know what was going on

How could I explain it without shame.

Sitting in her office, I told her the truth and she listened carefully

When she spoke her words were few and simple

‘You will pay me every single cent you owe,’

‘You will keep your word to me,’

‘You will stand up and be counted as honest and faithful,’

You will honour God with your business, walk and life.’

You see, she was the first business person I met who truly loved God

She wouldn’t let herself and those around her dishonour Him

It wasn’t an option to be known as dishonest

She would walk with me until the end

And seeing I didn’t have a plan, she provided one.

‘You will call me every Friday, no text messages allowed.’

‘You will personally tell me how much you are paying.’

‘If you have nothing to pay you will call me and tell me.’

‘Do not bring me a cheque or cash, send me a deposit slip’

‘You will not delegate this to your team but do it yourself’

‘I will stand with you in prayer.’

She didn’t budge; she wouldn’t budge

I didn’t like it but I accepted the challenge

One shilling, week, call, deposit & prayer at a time

We made progress; she and I

I worked harder and smarter, allocated something from all income

We cut back on spending and freed as much as we could.

We now had a clear plan out of the mess

All we had to do was to keep our word

I applied the same principle with other suppliers

Our relationships improved and business resumed.

She taught me to honour God

She taught me to keep my word

She taught me to be honest

She taught me to never give up

She taught me to trust the process.

She became the defender of my faith & integrity

She became one of the world’s best teachers

She became a precious friend & mentor

And when she went home to heaven,

I thanked God for her influence and His grace to teach me hard lessons

I thanked God for a new disposition that has now become my life.

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