I Am Broken

It’s funny how we touch each other but it means nothing
We hug strangers because others do
We share air kisses to look cool
We shake hands because we’ve been told its polite
We never ask why.
The culture I was born into didn’t shake hands
The women kneel in ‘respect’ and deference to the men
The men take care of their women
The families look happy on the whole
We never ask why.
So today I boldly ask why…
Why do you hug people you don’t even know?
Why do I conform to the hugging even though I hate it?
Why do I shake hands even though I am wondering about your hygiene habits?
Why is it so important to conform?
Why do we bundle all hugs into two seconds…
Yet science tells us that twenty seconds is the best?
Why do we turn a hug into a sexual thing yet is has healing power when left neutral?
Why do you judge me when I hold onto my brother’s embrace yet you know nothing about us?
Why do you feel bad when I don’t hug you just because I hugged someone next to you?
Let me be real and say, you have to earn and understand my hugs
Hugs come in differing intensity depending on who you are to me
Hugs have meaning but you need to be clued into me to interpret them right
Hugs are conversations, prayers, healing and greetings depending on who you are
Hugs are a window to my inner man
The interpretation isn’t in the duration or the fact that you get it
The interpretation is in the Spirit of God at work in each one
Decode by what God says to you before, during and after
Understand the season and the times.
If I hug you don’t celebrate
If I don’t hug you don’t weep
If I shake your hand don’t misunderstand
If I don’t shake your hand it may mean nothing
If I talk to you don’t feel special
If I don’t talk to you don’t put yourself down
If I light up when I see you ask God why
If my face doesn’t change the I see you again ask God

I’m difficult to understand (even for myself) but very simple
I am the craziest girl and the most sober
I am driven but seem totally lazy
I love with total abandon yet seem disconnected.
When you don’t understand me then you know me because maybe everything you knew before was a sham
That was likely me confirming to the patterns of culture and expectation
That was me blending in and dumbing down
That was me being the good girl.
The ‘good’ girl is gone
The politically correct one died
The naive shy one left the building
Behold I arise
Unafraid, unashamed, unhinged,
No holds barred, no excuses, no limitations
Grounded, anchored and strengthened in God
Seemingly crazy but deadly sober
Gifted but totally focused and committed to her assignment.
Expect me to say no to things that don’t hold say to me
Rest assured I will not waste time
Understand the pew of my life is determined by purpose
Remember I am rising as and raising King’s and Priests
#NoExcuses #NoLimitations

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