60 Arise, shine; For your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.
² For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, And deep darkness the people; But the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you.
³ The Gentiles shall come to your light, And kings to the brightness of your rising.

Isaiah 60:1-3 (NKJV)

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We have all read Isaiah 60 and been excited by it, me included but it stopped me in my tracks this week.

I first really heard it about ten years ago and then I heard the song ‘I’m blessed’ by Sinach and latched onto it. Now the funny thing is that even when I held onto it with a death grip, decreed and declared it, all that came out of it was a small fragment of the possibilities available. The part I really wanted to come to pass is v3… The Gentiles shall come to your light, And kings to the brightness of your rising. But alas! Something was missing.

I wanted the proof of my salvation to be visible to all; that men would see me and be astounded by the places I had reached in a short period of time. I wanted to snap my fingers and become this astounding person of repute, wealth and influence. I wanted to be known in every sphere and be the go to person for the globe. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted, I cried, decreed, declared, stood on…but alas. It didn’t come to pass the way I wanted…something was missing.

Then He broke it down for me…

Rising into my fullness isn’t automatic because I am born again. It isn’t a light switch the will be flicked and viola, I am rising. Shocking right? You had better believe it. Are there things destined for me from before the foundations of the earth? Yes! Are there things designated to me because of salvation? Yes. Will I get them automatic? Some but not all!

The reality is it wasn’t a real delay. The thing stalling movement was my motivation for rising. Yes, my motivation…I couldn’t even peg this one on God. I wanted to rise to show people I could do it. I wanted to rise so I would be recognised. I wanted it for me yet I had convinced myself it was about God and kept saying I want to honour God with my life. Ha!!!!

My rising and shining could only be about people being drawn to God; nothing more or less.

It could not be about me and the accolades I would get or else my walk would make God useless and he is not. It would not be automatic but through a process because then He could really teach me and embed the lessons in me. It would take me on a journey so that I could encourage others behind me and prove the lives of those ahead of me. My timeline would be different because I am unique so if my sister or brother rose in a matter of hours and I took years only Papa God could explain why and how.

My reality had to be that until I had built my relationship with God and understood my ordination, path and the desired outcome and I loved Him totally and even to my own detriment, it was a waste of time to pray about my rising. If I rose and gained the recognition I wanted, it would be a false position and it would bring Him dishonour and kill me in the end.

In that moment, I decided that wouldn’t be the case and we began a new walk. The more time we spent together the clearer it became I must decrease that He may increase.  A decrease in me was certain because as He showed me the truth of who I was I could only ask Him to deliver me, change me, cleanse me, lead me guide me. Seeing the real me and knowing He loved me enough to change me allowed a deeper understanding of Him and a clearer expression of Him. As this happened, I changed, loved Him more and became the mad one.