Monthly Archives: November 2019

You Left With A Piece Of Me Left

You were tall, actually towering
So wide you filled the doorway
With a brilliant smile and a cheeky laugh
A smooth bald head on top
A thin line of hair along the edge

Your eyes missed nothing
Your ears heard everything
Your arms caught all of us
Your feet moved purposefully
Nothing was outside your reach

You demanded our best and no less
Best grades possible
Best behaviour & manners
Best smiles & laughter
Best experiences

Every moment with you was class
Walking through the farm
Shaking the mango tree
Checking on the animals
Walking down the road

The adults watched in awe as you played with us
You were stern with them but laughed with us
You were serious then suddenly chasing us round the house
Sitting still then tickling the life out is us
Loving all 28 little ones with abandon

You reminded me many things:
To read hard and do well in school
To serve God with diligence
To be faithful in all I do
To look out and help others always

I never thought you’d leave so soon
I expected you to live until I grew up
I hoped you’d meet the next generation
I prayed you’d last for a long, long time
But alas…it wasn’t to be

You stayed as long as you could
You were strong as long as possible
You prepared us as best as you knew
You put things in place in advance
You prayed for us to the end

One day, smiling with your doctor
Telling him you are ok
Settled comfortably in your bed
All things settled and organised
You slipped off to sleep never to awake here

I think of you a lot grandpa
More now that I have a growing king
More now that the community has grown
More now that the last of your generation is gone
I think of you a lot

You saw me, really saw me
You loved me, faults and all
You pushed me, to be my best
You blessed me, so richly
You laid the foundation.

I bless God for you
I celebrate you in me
I challenge myself to be more
I remember your words of hope
I stand on your shoulders

I am because you were
I know because you shared
I stand because you knelt
I walk because you laid the foundation
I stand on your shoulders

Hope In God

Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The [b]help of my countenance and my God.

Psalms 43:5


Every time I think about walking this way, I smile as well as blink back the tears. It is easy to look at people and think that all is well but is it? Do we understand our place in each other’s lives well enough to really hear from God what they need? Are we positioned with God that he can send us out as His hands and feet.

I think David was wondering why he was in the heart of God’s plan yet he was sad and low right there. Can you imagine the intensity of the wondering? God called David a man after his own heart yet David still had low moments and downward spirals. I often imagine David sitting around the fire in the evening with his men, praising and workshiping as they sought direction from God on the way forward. 1st and 2nd Samuel has many references to David inquiring of the Lord. He did it before battle, he did it for strategy, he did it to remain connected with his Maker.

So what was happening when he wrote verse 5 of Psalms 43? He was going through trouble.

He was downcast and sad, he was disheartened and disquieted, he wasn’t in his usual mood. David takes a moment to acknowledge the state of his heart and mind. He stops moving to look within and identify what is actually happening. He called it by name and dealt with it by name. He called it downcast and disquiet and I like to say looked at it in the face without allowing it to destroy him.

The thing many of us find challenging is to be in the middle of challenging circumstances and still believe that God is good.

David’s young life was challenging but he remained true. He was the youngest brother with much older brothers, and you know what that meant. I mentioned before that he was anointed but went back to feeding sheep and fighting bears, he came to palace as a musician, a servant, the king tried to pin him to the wall with a javelin and when he joined the army and had more victory than Saul, his life was once again in danger. He fled to the Philistines but they too doubted him and sent him back home only to find this people raided.

Later he finally ascended to the throne but it wasn’t smooth either. His best friend died for him to ascend and even if it was the word of God, it hurt to see Jonathan dead. He led the people to victory and established the rule of God but he also did some very foolish things. He failed, stole, killed, envied, yet God sent him reminders to course correct every time and he did. These are the processes that taught him that indeed God is supreme  and reliable. This process taught him that God doesn’t change ever.

When he was down, David took charge of himself and spoke to his spirit, ‘Hope in God;’

  • He meant believe in the Lord, the one who thought about you, created your essence, found your place in life and positioned you there to achieve a set end for Him.
  • He meant, trust the word spoken over your life and stand on the promise of that word no matter what.
  • He meant sing praise and live out praise, raise an altar of praise with your life and allow God’s joy to fill you and become your strength.
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You Take My Breath Away

I saw you from the corner of my eye
Sitting in the corner as if to see everyone
Watching as if you weren’t
Cataloging as one making a list
Unassuming yet assuming nothing

What did you smell like?
What colour were your eyes?
What rate was the heart beat?
Were you really that calm?
Unassuming yet assuming nothing

Your voice is a deep rumble
Your laugh is a series of low notes
Your smile is broad and radiant
Your eyes like liquid dark chocolate
Unassuming yet assuming nothing

I stopped watching you but not sensing
I looked away but knew your every move
I watched others even as you watched me
I strained to hear your voice as you dropped it
Unassuming yet assuming nothing

Excuse me ma’am, you said standing beside me
At once I knew that voice, the one I’d been tracking
I wondered if you know you are beautiful
I thought you should know I admire you
Unassuming yet assuming nothing

I couldn’t believe it was you
My tongue was weighted like lead
My eyes blinking in disbelief
The tears filled my eyes threatening to flow
Yet you are unassuming and assuming nothing

It is you! You exclaimed almost in disbelief
Yes it is! I replied softly, timidly
I was coming to ask if you were related to someone I knew
I smiled, stilling the tears that threatened
Willing them away, hoping it’d work but alas

You caught the first tear as it fell
Extended your hand and pulled me to my feet
In a blink your shirt became the sponge
The recipient of tears I couldn’t control
The shoulder you had always promised

Right there, in front of the world
I lost the tight grip on my emotions
I lost control of my composure
I lost command of my heart
I gained a lesson in friendship

Unashamed by my public outburst
You let a weary soul find release
You shielded me from prying eyes
You became the servant of God to one in need
I couldn’t say thank you enough

I didn’t even know I would break that day
I wouldn’t have guessed I was close to the brink
I was unprepared for such an outburst
Yet my Father knew and positioned you
I bless my Papa who sent you my way

You take my breath away because
Your heart is still gentle even after so much trouble
Your love for & connection to God remains strong
Your obedience to Papa is unquestionable
You are His devoted servant for all your days


When The Road Shifts

I wasn’t feeling too well and asked a couple of people for prayer as I’d been in bed all day and could hardly speak. Afterwards, I asked myself why I reached out…did I honestly want prayer or was I seeking the high of people thinking about me? On the surface it looked like a simple call for prayer but was my heart really being honest?

This Father of mine is the most amazing. As most responded with get well wishes and said they were praying, one of my beloved brothers simply said, “You are fine and you will speak when there are words to be spoken.” Crazy? Today I say no but in the past it would have been crazy.

I should have pressed in with God to understand His reasons for allowing me to be bed bound and weakened. I should have asked about how the silence and the earache would increase my understanding of Him and His call on my life.

You see, just two days ago, I was sharing that everything in our lives MUST bring God glory yet here I was feeling sorry for myself because I was suddenly unwell. Where had my faith and trust gone?

Where God inhabits, everything contrary to His nature is consumed. So this sickness is but another opportunity to course correct my understanding and focus in line with the plan of God at work in me.

May His praises fill my heart till it overflows.

Growing In My Place

What are you watching over to bring forth for God? Arise and take your place for the world awaits the coming of the sons of God and you are one of them (Rom 8:19).

This instruction often feels very amorphous. What if I am to influence the governance space but I am unknown? What if I am to influence the economic space but I don’t have wealth or a position of power? What if…? What if..? What if…? There were so many questions running through my mind about all the things I didn’t have that would be hindrances to where I needed to be and get. It is human you would say but I began to wonder if I could override my natural human responses based on the word of God.

It had to be possible to know and understand things like Elisha, Daniel, Joseph, Esther, Joshua, Caleb, Rahab and the prophets and apostles. I could be like the Israelites who doubted their ability to conquer the Promised Land yet I didn’t want to fail in my call so I choose to be different.

Every story in scripture or real life of people who have done the will of God comes back to one key fact; spending time with God. They made time for God no matter what was going on around them and the results were correct every time. Elisha stands out for me. He boldly asked for a double portion of Elijah’s anointing and met the conditions so he received it. His devotion to God was so rock solid that he knew things without leaving his house. It was known even in the enemy camp that Elisha was close to God and he had deeper revelation than others.

“8 Now the king of Syria was making war against Israel; and he consulted with his servants, saying, “My camp will be in such and such a place.” And the man of God sent to the king of Israel, saying, “Beware that you do not pass this place, for the Syrians are coming down there.” 10 Then the king of Israel sent someone to the place of which the man of God had told him. Thus he warned him, and he was watchful there, not just once or twice. 11 Therefore the heart of the king of Syria was greatly troubled by this thing; and he called his servants and said to them, “Will you not show me which of us is for the king of Israel?” 12 And one of his servants said, “None, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.” 2 Kings 6:8-14  (NKJV)

Is the same true of you and I? Are we known to love and follow God diligently no matter what?

The only way I will ever be able to become all God sees me as is when I am diligent with him. One of my brothers was sharing how as he has learnt to lean on God for every step it has changed everything about him. He is in top physical shape without a gym membership because he follows the exercise plan God gives him. The combination and repetitions differ every day but the regime includes walking, push ups and sit ups and believe it or not, he is toned and strong.

The big thing however is how when he is walking as instructed it is not just walking but raising an altar of praise and worship across the city and nation as a whole. It is about speaking God’s word and will over different sectors of the city. It is about taking God’s mind to places and establishing and re-establishing his plan and covenant.

We are to be like God and similar to one another but there are no and never will be clones.

What inner details does God want to tell you about your area of influence so that you can pray His will in? What secrets does He need to give you that you may colonise and conquer your space for Him? Where do you need understanding, connections and grace that you may rise to your fullness? These are the same questions I ask every day because I want to be the one He uses in my area and He has promised me access.

Access is commonly defined as the means or opportunity to approach or enter a place or the ability to obtain or retrieve information and items or the ability, right, or permission to approach, enter, speak with, or use something or admittance.

I have access!!!

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I miss you

I miss you

Every breath is harder

Every thought more painful

Every day longer

Every night more unbearable


I miss you

You left without warning

You didn’t say goodbye

You just packed and left

You didn’t know where you were


I miss you

A goodbye would have been good

A last smile would have helped

A last hug to hold onto

A last word to remember


I miss you

Life will never be the same

Days look different

The sun is dimmer

The wind is colder


I miss you

Nights seem darker

Time moves slower

The moon is smaller

The stars further out


I miss you

But in time I will be fine

In time it will all make sense

In time my heart will heal

In time my mind will clear


I miss you

I pray I won’t be here long

I will hold your memory close

I will keep working on our plan

I will rise to the peak


I miss you

The sadness will be fuel

The tears be bath water

The sorrow fire in my belly

The emptiness fertilizer


I miss you

I will always miss you

You will always be a part of me

We will always have history together

You are a part of me forever

Photo by Akshar Dave on

Daughters Of God Position Yourself Before Him!

By Lana Vawser posted here

This week the Lord continued to speak to me for the daughters of God. I had a vision and I saw snakes slithering into the lives of many daughters of God and they were slithering in with their lies and “half truths” to bring doubt into their hearts about what God was saying and the direction God is leading. I saw many daughters of God surrounded by this whirlwind of confusion and there was a fog that was resting over them. They could “see” but things weren’t “clear”. As this was taking place I heard the Lord thundering over the daughters of God:

“I am breaking the attack of confusion over your mind, heart and eyes as you seek Me. I am bringing you deeper into a realm of discernment that you have not experienced before. I am bringing you deeper into an anointing to expose and uncover the lies of the enemy and to decree My truth that will bring tremendous supernatural shift.”

Again, I began to see the battle over the “mouths” of the daughters of God in this new era. The battle continued over them to silence them and to intimidate them and cause them to remain in “hiding” and pushed back into a corner, where this is the era where the Lord is positioning them in ways unlike anything they have ever experienced. This new era of God restoring voice to the daughters of God and awakening them to the power of decree and the anointing they carry and to walk in all that the Lord has for them without apology.

For the past few years I have seen the spirit of intimidation coming against the daughters of God fiercely and in an intensity like I have never seen. In the place of battle with this spirit the Lord has been training His daughters to walk by faith, to press into His heart and His truth and developing the revelation of their identity in Him. There has been significant breakthrough that has taken place for many daughters of God. Then recently I saw this spirit of intimidation come back again but this time fiercer than before. This time it was screaming louder and pushing harder, but in the battle I heard the voice of the Lord thunder over their lives.

“This is the era where you are stepping into boldness in Me like you never have. This is the era where you are stepping into the revelation of who you are in Me and the giftings I have given you, the anointing I have placed upon you, in greater fullness and WITHOUT APOLOGY.”

When the Lord spoke “WITHOUT APOLOGY” I felt the breakthrough upon His Words.

The Lord continued to speak:

“Many of My daughters have been living under apology. You have been apologising for your gifting. You have been apologising for the favour I have given you. You have been apologising for the vision, direction and revelation I have given you. You have been apologising for the expression of My heart through you. I am removing the layers of the shame from your heart and life deeper than ever before. I am releasing the awakening of your identity and CLARITY of your anointing, your gifting and your calling in these days. I am moving you from the place of living under APOLOGY to the place of living under ACCELERATION in unprecedented ways.”


I had a vision and I saw Jesus standing before the daughters of God and He spoke “Come with Me” and I began to see one woman after another step forward and take His hand. He took them into a room that was so beautiful. It was a place of deep communion with Him and there was a large table in the middle of the room and the Word of God was on the table in the center. They sat down and Jesus began to explain the Scriptures to them and it reminded me of Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus (Luke 10:39) and learning from Him. As He spoke and His truth was flowing forth I was watching an impartation being released to them from His mouth and from the Word of God that was falling upon the eyes of the daughters of God. Their eyes were blazing on fire, stronger and stronger and I heard the words thundering around me “EYES OF EAGLES”.

I knew that the Lord was extending vision, He was bringing clarity and the revelation of the Word of God and being anchored in Him and the Word was taking them deeper into the realm of discernment that He had spoken of. They were being mantled with TRUTH like never before. Things were breaking off them. Lies, torments, oppression was falling off as the awakening of revelation was taking place. I watched them looking at things that had been placed upon them, lies they had believed, places where the intimidation had taken root because of insecurity, doubt, fear, partnership with these lies and it was almost as if in the spirit suddenly they stood up on the inside with a roar of “THAT’S NOT ME!!!!”. Those places of lies, the places of apology, the places of believing they were wrong, or there was something wrong with them, of their dreams were wrong or the lies of “that’s too big for me” were all falling away.

I watched as their eyes began to open wide in the spirit and they began to see CLEARLY the demonic spirits that had been tormenting them for so long without them even realizing. MAJOR deliverance was taking place over the daughters of God as they were communing with Jesus and feasting on His Word. The level of sight in the spirit that was being released to them was unprecedented.

I then saw them being lifted with Jesus above the table and into a higher place to be able to see further and wider than they had ever seen. I then heard the Holy Spirit say “It’s time for the EXPANSION of vision and VISION for the EXPANSION”

What took place next surprised me.

Jesus turned to the daughters of God and He spoke:

“I am not only increasing and expanding your vision, I am expanding your vision for the expansion I am giving you. I am giving you the strategy and blueprints to carry the vision and walk in your anointing and calling like never before in this new era, but I am also going to give you “one step ahead vision”. I am transitioning you from living on the defense in your vision but moving you to the OFFENSE in your vision.”

The sense surrounded me that many of the daughters of God were being hit so hard in every direction that they were in the battle to “see” what was taking place right now, but constantly fighting for the day to day and not being able to move to the place of being “one step ahead” of the enemy and moving with the Holy Spirit to shut down the plans and attacks of the enemy before they were put into action.

The Lord was bringing a MAJOR shift now in the spirit to transition them from the defense in vision, to the offense in vision.

The story of Elisha flashed before my eyes in the Spirit in 2 Kings 6:12 where Elisha heard the plans of the King of Aram in his bedroom and told the King of Israel.

“One of his servants said, “No, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.”

I asked the Lord why He was highlighting this Scripture and I felt the Lord say that this realm of discernment and divine insight into the strategy and plans of the enemy is upon the daughters of God. The same anointing is coming upon many. There is an invitation from the Lord to be stepped into be seeking His heart and being anchored in the Word of God, surrendered, yielded and taught by the Holy Spirit, where He will release divine insight and discernment into the plans of the enemy in greater momentum that will transition the daughters of God from living on the defense in their vision to the offense.

Where confusion, haze, intimidation has swirled and stolen so much from the daughters of God, this is the new era of clarity for the daughters of God and a position of offense and victory in their vision, coupled with the wisdom, discernment and strategy of God to take what He is revealing and through prayer, decree and obedience, shut down the plans of the enemy before they have a chance to be implemented.


The Lord showed me with the revelation He will release to uncover lies of the enemy and strategies of the enemy in many ways even before they are implemented, we will see in this new era, the daughters of God rising up in their decree, intercession and obedience to the strategy of God that will see the Holy Spirit release a MIGHTY move of DELIVERANCE through them in their spheres of influence and cities and nations.

The daughters of God that are seeking His heart and stepping into their YES to Jesus completely will see the Holy Spirit use them in unprecedented ways in this new era to bring MAJOR deliverance to people, families, cities and nations.

The enemy has worked overtime to cage the daughters of God but this is the era where God is mantling them and releasing them into the earth to set the captives free, to break open cages the enemy has placed places and people in. A mighty wave of deliverance is going to crash in with greater force and acceleration in the body of Christ in this new era that will see men and women operate together in greater ways to see the deliverance of God manifest and some of the specific revelation the Lord unveils to the daughters of God will bring forth significant unlocking of the places the enemy has locked down.

This transition for the daughters of God in this new era regarding vision is not a place of focus upon the enemy, it’s not the place of ‘looking for a demon behind every tree’, it is the place of communing with Jesus and being deep in the Word of God and the Lord revealing the hidden places of the enemy and the hidden things the enemy doesn’t want them to see, that are going to be the places of MASS deliverance when the strategy of intercession and strategy of God being implemented will unlock some of the greatest breakthroughs that have been seen.


The Lord then spoke about dealing with jealousy and competition that can so easily creep in through insecurity and lack of revelation of identity in Him. The Lord showed me that in many ways in this new era He is dealing with this issue between many daughters of God. I also saw the Lord dealing with “backstabbing” and “backbiting”. The Holy Spirit showed me the depths of His Spirit dealing with these issues because it is and will hinder the move of His Spirit.

I watched as the conviction of the Holy Spirit and the love of God began to deal with these issues within the hearts of many daughters of God and was bringing healing and uniting the daughters of God, arm in arm. I watched as a deep work of the Spirit of God was taking place to bring deeper unity, strength and fortification amongst the daughters of God and a celebration of one another.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:3-11)


In this increase of discernment and uncovering of the hidden things of the enemy that God is revealing, I heard the Lord say “Do not be afraid to release the new sound of truth that resounds in love”

In the revelation of His truth and greater discernment He is releasing there will be times where the Lord will have you speak and decree. Do not be afraid to speak and decree. Sit with the Lord and receive His heart and as you speak the His truth it will go forth as a NEW SOUND because it will expose and uncover the lies and places the enemy has been residing and the truth of God’s Word and clarity will be revealed. Do not ‘rush’ in your release, but sit with the Lord and allow Him to unpack and reveal all that He needs to and be not afraid to share what He has spoken to you with those the Lord releases you to, for you will gain greater strength in the confirmation that you will receive from those the Lord has led you to share with as the enemy would seek to bring confusion or whisper doubt to you that you are not hearing the voice of the Lord. Confirmation will come from those the Lord leads you to share with. It is imperative to steward what the Lord shows you with His timing and His way because the magnitude of the breakthrough that will come from the declaration of these truths and strategies the Lord has given you in this new realm of discernment. The Spirit of God is going to teach you in greater ways how to steward warnings and the revelations He releases to you and move in the timing and way of God in its release.

Continue to ask for wisdom (James 1:5) and the Lord will give you wisdom in abundance. A key is to ‘remain’ with him and not ‘rush’ on the revelation He gives you.

It’s time for you to receive “eyes of an eagle” to see mighty deliverance take place in your spheres of influence and cities and nations. This is your time to arise daughters of heavenly vision!

Kyesubire Greigg

Each One Is Key

What are the odds that she knew what I had been thinking about? Slim to none. I hadn’t seen this sister for a couple of months and before that we would meet maybe once a month and share at most a smile and a hug. She is one of those ones I don’t know to say a lot so when she would speak, it is worth listening to. This particular day she was talking about things that have been on my heart for a while… the rise of the male sons of God.

I was seated in the corner as I often do, listening and focusing on the inner conversations so I didn’t know she was getting up to share until she begun to speak. My oh my!!!! I sat up and was speechless. It was as if she had been sitting in my room with me as I petitioned God for His sons and asked so many questions or as if I had been the one sitting behind the curtain in her room listening to her conversation.

This wasn’t a random conversation but a deep resonating in my spirit.

For so long it has seemed that the male sons of God have been bound, gagged and tied. Silenced and confined into spaces with very low ceilings unable to get past certain places and people. It is as if they have been severely limited by factors beyond anything they can see and when they rise, even those who walked closely with God seem to lose an element of their connection with Him.

I have been asking God what Sarah saw in Him that she would stand with boldness and defend her son saying, ‘cast out the bond women and her son, for the son of this bondwoman will not be heir with my son…’ Gen 21:10. There is also Rebekah who loved Jacob and defended him to attain his inheritance and fulfil God’s work, And the Lord said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger…’ Gen 25:23.

What did these women see about the male sons of God that I need to connect to and bring forth?

If the words I penned last week are true that my rising isn’t about me showing earthly influence and power rather it is about full fidelity to the plan of God as HE has revealed to me in His word to my spirit before the foundations of the earth; what is the needed transformation of heart, mind and spirit by His hand and my obedience? How does my life Him glory and praise in reference to raising His sons?

As my sister prayed for the rising of the sons, I began to understand my role, my footprint, my fingerprint. I began to see that I need to open doors for them that only God can show me to open. If the male sons around me are to become all they need to be, I must be in the right position as only God has shown me that they may enter in to what is theirs. I have to understand that male and female were never meant to be in competition; there was never a battle of supremacy in the mind of God.

Female was made comparable to male meaning similar but not identical. There are unique elements that only female can deliver so that male would thrive and vice versa. As the carrier of the capacity to bring birth and forth, I must know what is needed around me and ensure that my life is positioned in a way that creates the right atmosphere. I don’t have the room or flexibility to say if he does this I will do that or if the doesn’t I won’t. I can only consistently provide what God wants from my life.

There is nothing unfair about the situation of me giving no matter what, because if I don’t deliver what I need to, God will send someone else in my stead and push me aside. If the male around me doesn’t deliver his part, God will also replace him because as long as I am growing as God intends, my life lays a demand on Him to keep His part of the agreement no matter who or what. This frees me up from the bondage of waiting for others because I understand that my role is critical and God will raise the needed support for His word to perform (Jer 1:12).

As I sat with God on the matter of His male sons, there were other daughters sitting with Him about the same matter and at the appointed time, we were all in the same place able to bring it to reality. What are you watching over to bring forth for God? Arise and take your place for the world awaits the coming of the sons of God and you are one of them (Rom 8:19).

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Sent By God

It had been a long time since we last saw each other

Twenty years since they rescued me

We had been so engrossed with life

Now life keeps drawing different ones back

Today it was him


I hadn’t seen him as I walked by

The crowd was too big by then

Yet I felt someone watching me so I turned

There he was, watching, smiling,

Shaking his head, clucking his tongue


You see, I’m in process

I’m dealing & digging deep

I had asked God who I used to be

Today He set out to show me


We had met many years ago 

My life was shredded and in the gutter

Cold, lonely, empty, dry

Devastatingly quiet and sombre

Falsely seeming stable and solid outside


One day I was beautiful, I loved, I accepted,

I laughed, had strength, hope, courage

I was the hub of all plans,

I broke it down and built it up 

I was reliable, dependable, the rock


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Then suddenly I wasn’t anything

Instantly I was broken, shaken, confused

Lost in the darkness groping for support

Stumbling on flat ground,

Falling on smooth pavements


Blind in the sunlight yet with perfect sight

Deaf in the day yet with perfect hearing

In the valley of the shadow of death

I was at the end of myself


I died many times over

Yet no one noticed

When one saw me he just said,

‘Get it together mrembo,

we want the girl we knew and loved.’


How could I do that?

Where would the strength come from

Who would walk with me?

Would any one See Me?

Couldn’t they see I needed help?


Then they appeared…

A total of twelve from different places

Each more diametrically different

All from outside my world

Yet they didn’t care we were so dissimilar


I called them my boys,

They called me one of the boys

Totally unknown to themselves

They became the arms, feet and heart of God

A healing balm to a broken life


They were sent of God

Though it seemed totally unlikely

A designated support system

Helpers to tide me through, under and over

My people, my strength, my brothers


Sad lonely days turned to happy ones

Gloom gave way to laughter

Emptiness filled with warm hugs

Seats saved on the bus, on the wall, at the meeting

Unconditional acceptance & no judgement


And when their assignment ended

They left as rapidly as they came

Vanishing as suddenly as they appeared

Like mist when the sun rises

There was no trace of them


Now life has come full circle

We are older, wiser, more confident

But we can look back to those days

I smiled, my heart skipped,

I remembered


‘No way!!!’ he said shaking his head

Scanning me from top to bottom.

He reached out and hugged me

He said it so quietly I almost missed it

‘Damn girl! You look the same! ‘


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I smiled,

My heart comforted,

My spirit stilled,

My joy confirmed

My hope grounded.


Papa had done His work

He’d kept His word

He’d restored me in Him

Now I am whole,

Finally I am free.