The other evening, my brother D came to see me; he has a gift of showing up when I need a deep conversation, a hug and love. We had a conversation and he brought insight I knew but didn’t want to see in the midst of the questions and day.
I had been dealing with different realities that were frustrating me. You know how there are things you know in your heart and spirit that have to be but they aren’t even beginning to happen? There is a picture of the person God has said you are but it is taking too long to happen? What is standing in the way of all the realities God has told me are possible? Those are the things I have been wrestling with.
In true D fashion, he began breaking down all the questions I was asking with examples of others walking the same kind of road and asking the same questions but also tracking growth in phenomenal ways. He tracked through scripture stories of people who really walked with God and how none of their lives was challenging. I smiled because I had just shared something similar with a few people less than ten days ago and I had forgotten.
Everyone God is at work with in this season is going through a lot as part of the preparation process. God is more interested in the process because that is how the lessons and changes become permanent…lifestyle. The only thing that beats darkness and cannot be tainted is true love and that is only found in the arms of God.
Let me try and clarify. How can I say I love you when my love is conditioned by how you treat me? How can I say I love men when there are people who are unlovable because of their behaviour? How can deal with you in honest love when I will need to tell you the truth of who I am and allow you to tell me your truth and not judge but accept you as a person as we both deal with all the hidden parts of ourselves.
As hard as it may seem everything I feel right now must push me deeper and deeper into God. I have a measure of understanding that makes the journey today a little easier. Am I happy and over the moon? Not yet but I am walking towards it.