I have told the story before so I won’t belabour it here again, but the short version the daughters of Zelophehad in Numbers 27:1-11. Each of us needs a Father who would seek God about us, hear who we are and then do everything God instructs to ensure we become that.

A father MUST be a man of God, whose life is fully and clearly devoted to God but doesn’t have to be a pastor, bishop, elder etc. It could be your biological father, husband, spiritual leader….but it had to be a man of God, walking in faithfulness and diligence with God. Every one of us male or female needs a strong father who will be connection to greatness and fullness.

He was confident in his relationship with God and his focus is to listen to God and hear about me from God’s perspective. His job is then to do everything he has been instructed to do that I may enter into that reality of God. Teaching is important because one day he won’t be there and if I am not grounded in and dependant on God, then his life and mind would be in vain.

One thing I found interesting was that once a person aligns with the right person and they understand the connection, you never have to see, talk to or even spend time with them again because it is the connection to God we seek not with a person. However, the push was and still is that I would be so grounded in God and the word that I could navigate the rest of life with confidence.

In that moment my understanding of Fatherhood was challenged.

Up to then, all spiritual fathers and mothers I knew wanted scheduled updates and connection times. They wanted to control the narrative, the process and the progress. Additionally, in many instances they would even dictate the choices the children made. Papa…nothing like that; he was and still is a contradiction.

It’s been quite a journey because I had to unlearn everything I knew and that took about 3 years before I begun to grasp the depth of the word of God. Over the past 12 years I have worked on me, fought battles and lost many but won more; I have learnt how to be naked and unashamed before God and then before those he appointed as part of my journey; I’ve been confused, uncertain but always pushed by Papa C to know with certainty what God is saying. I have been forced to grow up.

Sometimes there is trouble on the way but if He says it’s part of the plan, that’s the path I will follow. The more I’ve met God, the less I need to see Papa C but the more we are one because God still talks to him about me and when need to integrate we do. Papa C has taught me unconditional love that gives each one what they need and no more. I know I’m close to his heart but I’m not the closest to him.  What Papa C provided was the blessing and divine lineage then God took over and provided the teaching and room to grow.

The bottom line is that every step has to be ordered by the Father Most High or it becomes vanity and flesh.