Mmmmmhhhh…how to begin.
It all started with a niggling knowledge in my spirit that I needed to carry a few outfits while going for a work shoot. I was not on the cards that day as it was about the others, yet within me I knew I needed to do something radical in my day. How? I did not know. Why? It was time and though it is hard to explain, excitement filled my heart and spirit as I drove to work that day.
Halfway through the day, I found the courage to quietly set up my appointment with the makeup artist and photographer and sit peacefully running things after that. As we wound up, I almost cancelled on the photographer but since my face was already done, why waste the opportunity and preparation. I settled that this was going to happen no matter what.
I am so glad I did it because I have not laughed that hard in a long time.
Imagine me standing in the middle of the Arboretum with a huge camera lens focused on me. Oh my!!! It was daunting at first, but the jokes and seemingly random questions flowed making all fine and the awkwardness went…, well I was about to say out of the window, but we are already outside.
It was surprising how easy it was to get into the zone once we started. I thought I would struggle with the possibility of posing in public where people could interrupt or just watch but the inner peace in me was the right fuel. Soon I knew what the next step needed to be, how to enhance the next pose, when to light up, when to think and so forth. In time I became one with the shoot and the result was mind blowing and breath-taking.
Then the world tilted on another axis…
You know how a photographer sends you a teaser of two or three photos to keep you guessing? I could not stop staring at the teasers in amazement because I did not believe it was me. In every shot, he captured the essence of me that has been hidden for a long time; a simple girl who loves to talk, laugh, love and think. Every photo had a confident personality but a subtle shyness and coyness. Each one highlighted a deep-seated joy of being one with myself and the Maker. Even now, I keep going back to them, I see different things every time.
I am totally fascinated at how simple things come through when you are not focused on them. Or how a pimple kept in the frame speaks to the realities of life and dealing with fear. Or how a smile changes the face with soft lines and even crow’s feet can be a sign of beauty and elegance.
How many times had I allowed life to determine what looked good?Tweet
Finally, I could see what my Papa saw when he said his daughters are the most beautiful in the land. I could see what God saw when He created me. I believed the words of my friend who keeps saying that I am absolutely gorgeous. I understood that though I have a special kind of body type, it perfect for me.
My eyes opened and I begun to understand why things around me happen the way they do. I also watched a deep sense of rest settle and a getting comfortable with who I can be and do me no matter what. It bred insane confidence that bubbled over in the next shoot that had the photographer watching with a smile as my smile got bigger every time the shutter closed and did not fade until after the last shot. I learnt that I could easily turn on a genuine 100watt smile.
Then I looked at my Father in heaven with a smile…
13 For You formed my inward parts;
You [a]covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for [b]I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
15 My [c]frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
Psalm 139:13-16 (NKJV)
- I can no longer contest or contend with God that I am who He said I am, placed where He needs me to be, doing what He has called me to do, well able to colonise and dominate that space.
- I do not need to know the full picture as I am now content to live by a daily word from His heart.
- I am willing and able to walk in trust because every day He has led me on the way of life that is rich and deep.
- I will follow this path because it is pre-designed, and I am predestined to rise and present the fullness of an aspect of Him that has never been seen.
Do you believe His plan for you is perfect? Let Him show you just how on point He is, & life is.