Monthly Archives: February 2021


Many times we think our lives are built on God

But alas

Unless we can track it back to an encounter

Unless it is based on a specific word

When things get rough,

We are rudderless.  


Most of us don’t even know the WORD is our anchor

We were taught to be around people of God

That because of people it will just work out

We have believed the lies

We are paying a heavy price

We are rudderless


HOPE is our anchor 

Our place of stability 

Our source of strength 

Our strong tower

Our rudder


The WORD is our light

Our illuminaton

Our source of guidance 

Our solid ground 

Our hope in the darkness


The PROCESS is the training ground

Our pruning

Our planting

Our watering 

Our place of experience


His VOICE is our guide 

Our rod of correction

Our light in the dark 

Our source of comfort 

Our eternal transformation 


Our strength is in His HOPE

Our joy is in His LOVE

Our peace is in His EMBRACE 

Our power is in His STRENGTH 

Our life is in HIM



As more days go by

As I think about you more

I realise what a mother I have

I see how much work I need to put

into being a better son.


I am amazed

How someone I met so randomly

Can be so beautiful

Can love so genuinely 

And never hold anything back.


There should be a verse

Written somewhere public

There are many pastors

There are many teachers

But very few real mothers.


You are my mama,

A mother who chose me,

Who took that mantle with ease and gladness

Who watches over my life diligently

Yet I haven’t been the best of sons.


You have shown me genuine love,

You are obvious in your care and concern.

You have lifted me up whenever we met

You gently but strongly pressed and pushed me

You challenge my mind to open.


You demand that I think

Think beyond my brick walls

Think beyond the mediocrity

Think beyond my life of confinement

Think and then act on it.


You believe in me even when I don’t

You are confident about my gift

You push me to be professional

You demand I focus on growth

You see my devotion to God.


You have never doubted my abilities

If you did it never shows

You warm me when I am being foolish

You stand on the sidelines watching

Never losing faith in me no matter what.


The last year may have been hard

Yet you have never left me

I count you as a huuuuge blessing

An ever present support

Always by and on my side.


I need you to know

I appreciate you mama

I appreciate you completely and wholly

I love you like the awesome wonder woman you are

I love you Mama!!


You have let God use you to bless

You have modelled habits for me

You have watched as God is working on me

Today I choose to be a better man

A man who loves God.


Your life is built on a WORD

A word God spoke to you

Not just you doing what you think

But living out a divine plan and pattern

That is a major difference


I daily learn how essential the word is

How much my walk depends on it

How many people will challenge it

How much I will have to choose the Word

How my belief of that word will strengthen me.


I am now on the right track.

There is so much I have to overcome

I really want to walk with God

There are always depths I will uncover

I will grow no matter what.


I have discovered the Well in God

I will always drink of God

I will discover myself in Him

I will get to know myself well

I will remove all facades & false mirrors.


You warm my heart mama

You have opened your heart to me

You inspire me to be so much better

You are vulnerable with your children

You always make us feel at safe and at home.


Mama you have my heart

You win it over, ever time we talk

Your faith in me inspires me to keep walking

I will find more time to spend with you

I will follow God more nearly, because of your example.


Thank you Mama,

Your love has changed my life

Your faith has charted a path

Your honesty has challenged me

Your love for God…is my greatest example.


Photo by uncoveredlens on

Inspired by a series of conversations

Make The Effort.

Anyone who has a ‘difficult’ name knows how many times they get asked for a short and easy form. I get that question every day and though it used to bother me, I laugh about it now. I am learning to train people how to say my name and encourage them until they get it. No excuses.

I was given an English name at birth so I had always hidden my Afrikan name but the emerging Pan Afrikan in me choose to drop the English name when I needed to fill a form and all the names could not fit and it made sense to use my Afrikan name going forward. Something rose in my fourteen-year-old heart that knew it was the right thing even though I chose to shorten it for the sake of people around me.

20+ years later I realised just how important that choice had been.

Currently, I am going back to using the full form of my name…yes…the full form. Ironically, many people ask for a short form. Why? Simple, many think my name is very difficult. Granted it is different but not impossible. I am perplexed because we go to school to learn other people’s languages, we perfect our pronunciations of people’s names and even gain accents, but we do not want to learn the difficult local names. What is that about? Could it be that we do not value our own?

For so long we have sought to look ‘global’ enough to be appreciated that we forget just how valuable what we have is. Ethnic names have loaded meanings based on the person they come from to the long sentences that you would find in West Afrikan names. They speak to realities that are beyond what we know when taken in relation to the Word of God and our ordained path in Him. Our names give us perspective into the calling of our lives. I know people who had to change their names because they were out of alignment with their calling with amazing results.

Some parts of Afrika more than others, are devoted to their local names and it often comes from the understanding of who they are and the value of their names. There is beauty in local names, the stories behind them, the meanings, and callings. Additionally, names are spiritual; they bring things to life, they protect, they open doors.

All names have meanings no matter the language. Esther means star, so does Estelle, Stella and over 30 others. I think back to Matt 16:17-19 when Christ has an interaction with Simon about the revelation of who He was and when Simon answers, his name is changed to Peter and pronounced what his future would be. Saul had his Damascus road experience, and his name was changed to Paul as he started off on the journey to become an effective Apostle. A change of name aligned people to a future true to the meaning of the names given and lived by Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah etc.

The traditional meaning of my name hoped for, but there is so much more…

Faith is the substance of things…Kyesubire. Yet there is still more!! As my understanding of my name has grown, the reality of what it carries is greater. The reality of my name is Hope Expected. It is the certainty of something coming; the answer is definite. It means that whatever is promised is coming to pass. Now you understand why it is important that I use my name in full.

A few people I know have tried to get me to go back on my choice to go back to my short form from my full name but please understand, it is not about you and your comfort. It is about me and the path of my life. When we meet and I ask you what your name means, I want to understand you better and connect deeper. I also want you to understand your name, its meaning and value no matter what language it is in.

I have said it before and I will say it over and over, my name is Kyesubire and these days, I use the full version, no excuses, because it is more meaningful that way.

Photo by Cleyder Duque on

Rise As One

When we are in the thick of life

We may not see all the vistas

We may not see all the gifts

We must have open eyes


We will get there

We will build hope

We will find strength

We will conquer it all


Working together

Communicating clearly

Moving as one

Seeing all angles


Subtle instructions

Simple angles

Deep insights

Deeper patience


Learning to be comfortable

Focused on growth

Showcasing inner beauty

Building common strength


We will know when we found it

We will hold the pose

Shift as needed

Moving with intention


No guesswork

No discomfort

No fear

No trepidation







Confidence will rising

Knowledge abound

Growth as a constant

Love embodied


Oneness with the Father

Oneness with self

Beauty unfolding

Light and warmth


Photo by Git Stephen Gitau on

In Plain Sight.

For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that  condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.”  And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked. And that day was the Sabbath.
John 5:4, 6-9 NKJV


Talk about answering the wrong question. Christ asked the man by the pool, let’s call him Henry, if he wanted to be healed and he went on a long explanation about how he cannot move to beat others into the pool. Was he hard of hearing, didn’t he understand the question or was the question beyond the possibility of his imagination?

I will let you decide on that one.

Henry could not wrap his mind around the reality that there is another option. History said that the only way to get well, was to get into the pool before others. He saw no other way so his heart was heavy and his face was long because he couldn’t see a way to get healed. When an alternative was placed before him, it is impossible to see it because it’s based on an impossibility.

Does that sound like you?

Are you moving steadily, hearing clearly, adjusting appropriately to the instructions or are you unaware of what is going on or how you need to be?

Henry caught my attention because of how blinded he was to possibilities and alternatives. A solution was right in front of his nose and he couldn’t even recognise it. Most of us would say it isn’t his fault because he was unexposed to options but something else comes to mind. He was living in a time when Christ was around and stories about Him healing and performing miracles abounded so could it be that he didn’t believe in healing or that he didn’t know it was Christ talking to him?

What blocked his view?

A lack of knowledge had him bound and stuck because he couldn’t see beyond his face. In fact, everyone at the pool was totally focused on getting into the water that they couldn’t see other possible options. They were so focused on the water that they didn’t even see the conversation or healing.

Is that you and me?

Do we see what is available around us or are we so stuck in the way we were raised and how we have lived so far that we are blinded? That is the thing we need to figure out.

I am angry so I will do better

I am angry & I will not apologise

I am angry & will not be silent

I am angry & it will fuel change

I am angry


I am angry that we teach our children crazy things

We expect them to obey blindly

We demand they believe things that didn’t work for us

We create a false environment for them

We cushion them too much


I am angry that our daughters are deceived about their identity

It is not in marriage

It is not in children

It is not in power

It is not in control

It is the purity of the reason for their individual creation


I am angry that our daughters have imbibed lies

Skinny is beauty, voluptuous is bad

Light skin is perfection; dark skin is ugly

It is all about money and power

The next girl has to fall for you to rise

It is all about how you look


I am angry that we tell the girls to stay

Stay when in that abusive relationships

It is solely their responsibility to make it work

To give him time for they are a tool of God

It is your fault he is angy

Only for some to die


I am angry that no one counters the lies

Money does not make anything better

Nothing matters unless you are skinny

You will never be happy without children

Your are not enough unless rich and married

We bore the harshness and made so you must too


I am angry that we created a division

Raising the girl to be independent

Teaching her to do everythin

Raising her to believe she can

Demanding that she challenge the status quo

And never once helping her brothers


I am angry about the pressure to keep it in

The demand to be calm always

The lie that she will always know what to do

The fib that she has all the answers

The fallacy that she is the only one who doesn’t know

The false presentation of control


I am angry that though we know better many are silent

Many do not admit to our struggles

We withhold lifesaving information

We do not check on each other for real

We have no support structures

We do not understand the need for family


I am angry so I will do better for my daughters

I will speak the truths few others do

I will teach them the realities of life

I will build relationships

I will raise their brothers

I will stand and be counted


I am angry so I will open up my home as a haven

Keep my phone on & be reachable 24/7

Live my life as an open vulnerable book

No longer ply the lies that kept me bound

Do the work of healing within

Be accountable to others on the journey


I am angry so sound a clarion call for like minds

Challenge those around to do the same

Model a different set of possibilities

Shine my light without fear

Raise a generation of strong balanced sisters

BECOME the most amazing woman I will ever be


I am angry so I will do better

Photo by Pixabay on

Default Settings

What is your default when dealing with the hard side of life?

What do you go to when you are sad or disappointed? Who do you call first when you have had a hard day? What is that instinctive thing you do to get out of hard situations? Does it really work? Sometimes that is a tough question, but I have found it is important to tackle it head on.

We all have something that soothes the heart, calms the emotions, lifts our spirits and just helps us get through tough days and seasons. It could be food, TV, books, sex, cuddles, silence, journaling, hangouts, meditation, prayer…oh boy…the list is long. But the reality is…we have that thing we sink into and get comfortable so we don’t deal with the real issue.

I have been thinking about the things I gravitate to in challenging times.

I would want to say I am always balanced and go straight into prayer, meditation and journaling, it would be a lie. There are times my default is other things like a piece of 72% dark chocolate, mindless TV among others. Recently after a personal disappointment threw me sideways, my coach listened to me gripe then said,

“I can also see why that would be the route to take but allow me to challenge you by suggesting prayer and connection with the Lord. It is obvious that your efforts didn’t hit the spot and offer the level of comfort you needed. (I rolled my eyes) A connection with God and venting would’ve helped relieve the angst and have your heart heard vs suppress and let the evil one lock you in on that state. I’m far from perfect but I’d be remiss if I didn’t share that.” I must admit that I had already come to the same conclusion.

I knew from the start that the coping mechanism I had picked would not work.

I knew I was taking the easy way out and it would leave me frazzled, but frustration and pain blocked out my ability to deal and I just didn’t want to make the hard choice. So I wallowed and placated and hoped to come out fine but alas. The only thing that happened was a temporary fix. It was like falling down and scrapping my knee and instead of washing and disinfecting the would, I simply put a plaster over it and tried to go on with life.

The pain would increase in time and infection set in demanding proper medical attention likely in hospital. The doctor would take off the plaster, assess the wound, clean it thoroughly and if it is too bad, I would need surgery to deal with it. Even without surgery, ignoring the wound had just aggravated it, making it more difficult to care for and lengthened the healing period.

What are the things we are not dealing with that are causing great harm?

Many of us know that we need to find resolution but are unwilling to do the work because it is a lot and painful or because we may not know where to start. The thing that stood out for me is that on an ordinary day, I knew what to do and where to start but I was in so much pain, it blinded me to the real solutions and led me to the easy options.

I also realised that I had taken the easy way out for so long that it was my default setting and I needed to put in the work to change. Why? It was not working anymore and it left me full of with guilt for doing something I would rather not do that did not change the situation. I can no longer take the easy way out because even though it is easy, it is bondage and I must train my mind to deal with every situation.

To become the fullness of the goal set before me, I must learn to deal with life decisively.

The easy way out got me this round, but I am back up on my feet and walking back to the challenge to deal with it the right way around. No more cop outs, diversions, escape routes or anything. This is the season of dealing and going straight through to make every situation count, every time.

What do you need to look back at and set new terms of engagement? Which response do you need to edit, alter and undo so that you grow every time? Look at your life, identify and deal. Remember, we are only as strong as our weakest habit…press in to deal and on towards the mark set out for you.


Photo by Jack on