Monthly Archives: April 2021

Insight Where Are You

I pray for insight

I pray that God hears my prayers

Give me a receptive heart


I pray for insight

I pray that God hears my prayers

Give me a receptive mind


Open my eyes to see

Open my ears to hear

Open my mind to understand


Open my heart to connect

Open my spirit to Your word

Open the eyes of my understanding


Let it be that I hear clearly

let it be that I feel correctly

let it be that I see accurately


Teach me to discern

Teach me to perceive

Teach me to comprehend


Teach me to apprehend

Teach me to recognise

Teach me to be wise


Teach me not to discriminate

Teach me not to judge

Teach me not to despise


Teach me imagination

Teach me enlightenment

Teach me sharpness


Father and son holding a toy, family connection, teaching the next generation
Photo by Keira Burton on

Raise Your Voice.

I was always told that a lady speaks a certain way. How? Gentle, sedate, calm. She also laughs softly even shyly, walks at a steady pace, gently raises the skirt of her ankle length dress as she walks. Grace and gentleness were the key to being a great wife. Ha!!! I could only do some of those things not all. I could walk gracefully, gently lifting the gomez just right not to display my ankles, however, my laugh came from the depth of my belly and smile was 200 watts and showed all my teeth…sha!!!

There were also other things I did that weren’t ladylike. One day we had visited family in Uganda, and I was in the kitchen whistling away as I did the dishes. Auntie walked in perplexed. She walked around a bit clearly looking for something but I didn’t know what, so I asked,

Are you looking for something Auntie?


How can I help you find it?

Who is whistling?

I smiled sheepishly but didn’t answer.

It is you?

I nodded yes.

Ah! Good girls don’t whistle. You need to stop that.

My eyes went wide in shock?

What? Why? I was so used to whistling and it had a calming effect on me so why was so bad about it? Well, apparently, it was taboo in our culture. You can imagine my confusion as the partly Kenyan girl who was so used to hanging with the boys that she had picked some of these habits and loved them. it was such a struggle to remember not to whistle when the older women were around coupled with the looks of shock when around some of the younger ones who could not understand how I could whistle.

How come I had never heard about it? Who made these rules that allowed the boys to have all the fun? Why was the life of a girl so full of rules and regulations yet the guys seemed to go around scot free? All these questions ran through my mind but I realised it wasn’t the time. I had to keep quiet for now and maybe ask the question later.

I wouldn’t dare challenge the status quo immediately but the seed was planted.

My eyes were open, my mind was alert to all the times I was asked to silence something that was part of me or change to suit social expectations. There were so many things that weren’t acceptable including my close relationships with my boys. I had always hang out with guys because of my brother. I was closer to guys and couldn’t stand girls. Many people frowned on my behaviour but as always, I followed my heart because I didn’t want to be part of a system that would tie me down.

As I look back, I have always challenged the status quo. I have always asked hard questions to the toughest people and never stopped. It got me into trouble with some people because I didn’t and still don’t live by everyone’s rules. I ask so many questions and refuse to move unless I understand the call, the path and the end game. God is gracious enough to have taught me to trust His ways and over time we have talked about the end game over and over until I know He is indeed out for my good.

When I say trust God; I know what it means to wait on His word even in trying times.

We must all be clear about who we are in Him, what our assignment is and how it will be done (even if all you know ist he next step) and keep to that path no matter what. No amount of earthly recognition can ever take the place of hearing Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” You can be assured that only gets said when it is true so if you are going in a direction contrary to His word over your life, it doesn’t matter how good your walk is or how many lives you touch, the assignment will be unfinished and He will just look at you as you go your own way.

God calls us but He no longer forces us to go one way or the other. He sends prompts, signs, nudges, clear signs to shift directions but we have the choice to go in His direction or head in our own direction. It is a choice;

  • A choice to FOLLOW Him closely;
  • A choice to LISTEN;
  • A choice to OBEY;
  • A choice so PRESS IN;
  • A choice to hold on in FAITH;
  • A choice to BELIEVE;
  • A choice to WALK;
  • A choice to GROW no matter what.

Raise your voice and make your choice made known.


Let Me Be Clear

Let me be clear:

I want only all of you

I like you in your truth

I appreciate your desire to grow

I adore every part of you

I will work to ensure you are whole


Let me be clear:

I see the truth of your heart

I see the light in your eyes

I see the gentleness in your spirit

I see the glory of your complexion


Let me be clear:

I see the beauty of your shape

I see the delicate curve of your spine

I see the gentle dip of your waist

I see the subtle sway of your hips


Let me be clear:

I saw you long before you saw me

I marked you for connection then

I followed you for a while

I knew you would be mine


Let me be clear:

I will not walk away

I will not lose heart

I will not delay my move

I will not give up on you

Photo by cottonbro on

These children of Rachel:

The sons of Jacob hated their brother Joseph and they planned to kill him but they opted to sell him. Fast forward to the day they sat in front of Joseph even if they didn’t know him when they met him. He was do different.

I can imagine the sons of Jacob rolling their eyes inwardly watching Benjamin in Egypt.

You see, they had systematically hated their half brother Joseph the son of Racheal. He was their father’s favourite, the snitch of the group and the one dreaming of being the leader. He was definitely smoking something free because as the second youngest and definitely not the born leader in the family.

They sell him off and tell the old man that he must have been killed by a wild animal. The old man’s heart breaks with grief and he holds tightly onto the last born. Benjie now cannot leave camp or be out of his line of sight. The older boys all have children and begin to understand what they did to their father and it settles that they were not fair.

The time comes when they need to go back to Egypt to get more food and they cannot go without Benjie which breaks their father’s heart but alas…can you imagine being in the presence of a foreign king and seated in order of your age. Then you look down the table and little Benjie has five times the food they have on their plates. Can you see it now? I can imagine one or two of them saying, ‘These children of Racheal!’

Can you imagine how their hearts beat?

Who are the “children of Racheal” in your life? Those people who always seem to attract favour and goodness. Those people who life seems to make easy and take care of. Could it be that they are more than just lucky? Could it be that someone higher was orchestrating things that are beyond our understanding? Could it be that they are just in their zone and their provision is at work?

As I was thinking about the “children of Rachel” I realised that they are people who have entered their place in God and are willing to remain focused even in the hardest times. They are people in position for their provision to arrive. They are those who know who they are in God. In that case…

Do you know any “children of Rachel”?

How do you know them? They see more, hear more, know more. They have provision, they seem favoured. They work on things and succeed. Doors open for them and even in the hardest of times they thrive. They face adversity but overcome each time. They meet roadblocks and find ways through them. They never lack in any way and thrive wherever you plan them.

They know who their God is and follow Him diligently. They are committed to His plan, path, desires and follow relentlessly. They are unshaken by the adversity they find in their way. They are faithful, hopeful, joyful, and graceful even in the most challenging times. Nothing and no one stops them because they know their God and they do exploits for His names sake.

I am a child of Rachel.

I am growing deeper in Him. I have provision, I have wisdom, I have knowledge beyond my years. It is clear to me that even in hard times there are pathways that open and allow me to remain on the path. It isn’t always easy but room is always made for me.

Every day I step deeper into His arms and every day I understand more. Join me on the journey to be His Children.

African mother a child, happy afrikan woman, afrikan child, smile, colourful
Photo by Askar Abayev on

Desperate to see

It feels like I am in the dark

Like the sun never rises

Like the rain always falls

Like very little changes

Like the weight never lifts


It feels like I am in the rain

Like the drizzle has turned to a thunderstorm

Like it has shifted to hail

Like the wind is blowing the roof off

Like the weight never lifts


It feels like I am all along

Like no can see me

Like no one hears my cries

Like I am in a dark dungeon alone

Like the weight never lifts


It feels like the walk is too long

Like we are walking up an hill

Like there are no breaks an stops

Like my feet are numb from walking

Life the weight never lifts


How do I move from here?

How do I make headway?

Where do I get the strength?

Who do I turn to for help?

What do I hold onto?


Oh to know the way forward

To have a path to follow

To have a plan to execute

To have a place to call home

To have a people call my team

What do I hold onto?

Photo by Markus Spiske on

Be Truly You…No Hoops

You do not have to jump through hoops to be loved or accepted…that my friends is the truth.

It is common today to say,

  • If he loves me, he will prove it by….
  • If she loves you, she will…
  • If they are part of this life, they should….

The list is as endless as the wind is invisible.

I have grappled for a long time with how I expected people who loved me to behave. I expected constant communication, deep conversation, time spent together, warm hugs, hangouts, etc… but alas. Less than one percent of the people around me could fully deliver on that expectation and I was devastated for a long time.

The thing that devastated me the most, was how clueless many were about what it takes to keep relationships alive. Many seemed to think that as long as we call ourselves friends and hang in the same circles that all was well. They assumed that going to school together or having mutual friends was enough to say we were close. Not a chance in my books!! Why? Simple! It takes work to really get to know and support people.  It takes trust to walk together. It takes hope, faith, and love to stay the full course, and therein lies the challenge.

Often, I found myself having to change who I am to suit the conversations around me or remain friends. I found myself dumbing down my responses so I would not hurt people. I found myself measuring my words and walking on eggshells or having to defend myself over things that do not need it. There was so much pressure to be a certain way that belied who I actually am that did not sit well with me. It made me ask myself,

Why isn’t who I am enough?

The biggest challenge I have saw is how we must jump through hoops to fit in. How certain kinds of behaviour was ascribed to denote a cultured person and impacted acceptance, yet I am the most randomly different person many have met. I remember stares when I walked into spaces a little dusty because I used public transport and had to walk the last kilometre. I remember stares from guards when I get off a motorbike outside a prime location and walk in, I think they preferred cab drop-offs. I have looked up and found people staring at me because I comfortably sit on the floor in public spaces, take the most random photos of plants and things in mid stride or even smile at people I catch watching me.

I remember stares, whispers, and chuckles when I walked across a 5-star hotel lobby, barefoot because my feet were too swollen to fit into my shoes from long hours standing at an event setup. I remember sniggers when I declined to attend a dinner with friends because the cost way high and another time when a friend declined to have more than a drink at a night out because her pocket was light. I remember shudders of disbelief when I said I would not be part of a project because it did not resonate with me.

Is there another way?

Over time, I realise that my path has to be true to who I am so I must be comfortable walking to or away depending on how things resonate. I am learning to speak my truth however unpopular because I will no longer knowingly put myself into situations that will destroy me. Do not get me wrong. I still take on challenges, I still work to climb and overcome the mountain. I still walk on paths unknown and chart ways in unexplored places. I just do not do it for the praise of people or on the pushing of those who do not understand my path and calling.

I no longer jump through hoops to be loved and accepted. If who I am, warts and all, is not enough for you, so be it; our paths will diverge. If the relationship or friendship is not building us up, we do not need to walk together. If my presence in your life does not help both of us grow, our time together is up. I will call you out if our walk needs to align and listen when you call me out to recalibrate, yet I will always remain true to who God has told me I am, no matter how many people walk away.

I will stand and defend what I know is my assignment and pray for the rest from afar. No more hoops…just walking, trusting, believing, connecting, relating, and growing.


Photo by Pixabay on


Always strong now weak

Always stable now broken

Always smiling now sad

Always bubbly now silent


Always clear now confused

Always a pillar now a stump

Always on point now off track



The imbalance is too much

It is hard to keep up

This weakness is hard to deal with

It is too messy for us


Who will reach out?

Who will understand?

Who will connect?

Who will stand alongside?


Why are you so imbalanced?

Why are you so out of whack?

Why are you so off track?

Why are you so lost?


Why are you so fearful?

Why are you so broken?

Why are you so different?

Why are you so shakeable?


Where is your faith?

Where is your hope?

Where is your strength?

Where is your power?


Where is your ready plan?

Where is your balance?

Where is your strength?

Where is your God?


Photo by Adi Perets on

Authentic Conversations

How many conversations can you have a day?

I thought it would be few, but the last few weeks have really taught me that I can handle more than I ever thought especially when they are about things, I am passionate about. Recently I spent six hours in conversation between meetings and phone calls and in person conversations. It got me thinking of how important what we say is.

Every conversation was distinct but had a common thread. Each one was as unique as the individual on the other end but there was a common thread. The one thing they all had was the push to become better, learn more and move forward. It was so interesting.

Conversations are life…big life.

The conversations brought insight into situations that at the start looked dreary. They drew the curtains back on the real reasons behind the way things are and allowed us to see the truth previously hidden. There is something about open curtains and the ability to see again. It gives clarity and hope when you know what you are working with.

One thing that really caught my attention was that when the curtains were open the thing on the other side of the curtain was dirty windows. Our view is hindered when the window is dirty. Our view is obscured so we cannot see the beauty or the challenges on the other side. It gives us a false sense of safety because we cannot see it but trouble could easily sneak up on us.

Conversations are all about quality not quantity.

Quality conversations are about depth and honesty, truth, and reliability. They bring people together and help us understand our foundations, what drives us and where we are going. It is all about learning new things about each other and understanding that we are all growing so we can give each other room and support to do so.  

As I think of conversations, I remember many conversations that we could not have as we grew up. There were so many topics that were not kosher because the adults around us were not willing to indulge and our young mouths would ask all the same, only to be shut down. That is why conversations are so important to me.

So, I am wondering how more of us can learn to have more authentic conversations. Do you have any ideas you would like to share?

Photo by August de Richelieu on