I was always told that a lady speaks a certain way. How? Gentle, sedate, calm. She also laughs softly even shyly, walks at a steady pace, gently raises the skirt of her ankle length dress as she walks. Grace and gentleness were the key to being a great wife. Ha!!! I could only do some of those things not all. I could walk gracefully, gently lifting the gomez just right not to display my ankles, however, my laugh came from the depth of my belly and smile was 200 watts and showed all my teeth…sha!!!
There were also other things I did that weren’t ladylike. One day we had visited family in Uganda, and I was in the kitchen whistling away as I did the dishes. Auntie walked in perplexed. She walked around a bit clearly looking for something but I didn’t know what, so I asked,
Are you looking for something Auntie?
How can I help you find it?
Who is whistling?
I smiled sheepishly but didn’t answer.
It is you?
I nodded yes.
Ah! Good girls don’t whistle. You need to stop that.
My eyes went wide in shock?
What? Why? I was so used to whistling and it had a calming effect on me so why was so bad about it? Well, apparently, it was taboo in our culture. You can imagine my confusion as the partly Kenyan girl who was so used to hanging with the boys that she had picked some of these habits and loved them. it was such a struggle to remember not to whistle when the older women were around coupled with the looks of shock when around some of the younger ones who could not understand how I could whistle.
How come I had never heard about it? Who made these rules that allowed the boys to have all the fun? Why was the life of a girl so full of rules and regulations yet the guys seemed to go around scot free? All these questions ran through my mind but I realised it wasn’t the time. I had to keep quiet for now and maybe ask the question later.
I wouldn’t dare challenge the status quo immediately but the seed was planted.
My eyes were open, my mind was alert to all the times I was asked to silence something that was part of me or change to suit social expectations. There were so many things that weren’t acceptable including my close relationships with my boys. I had always hang out with guys because of my brother. I was closer to guys and couldn’t stand girls. Many people frowned on my behaviour but as always, I followed my heart because I didn’t want to be part of a system that would tie me down.
As I look back, I have always challenged the status quo. I have always asked hard questions to the toughest people and never stopped. It got me into trouble with some people because I didn’t and still don’t live by everyone’s rules. I ask so many questions and refuse to move unless I understand the call, the path and the end game. God is gracious enough to have taught me to trust His ways and over time we have talked about the end game over and over until I know He is indeed out for my good.
When I say trust God; I know what it means to wait on His word even in trying times.
We must all be clear about who we are in Him, what our assignment is and how it will be done (even if all you know ist he next step) and keep to that path no matter what. No amount of earthly recognition can ever take the place of hearing Him say, “Well done good and faithful servant.” You can be assured that only gets said when it is true so if you are going in a direction contrary to His word over your life, it doesn’t matter how good your walk is or how many lives you touch, the assignment will be unfinished and He will just look at you as you go your own way.
God calls us but He no longer forces us to go one way or the other. He sends prompts, signs, nudges, clear signs to shift directions but we have the choice to go in His direction or head in our own direction. It is a choice;
- A choice to FOLLOW Him closely;
- A choice to LISTEN;
- A choice to OBEY;
- A choice so PRESS IN;
- A choice to hold on in FAITH;
- A choice to BELIEVE;
- A choice to WALK;
- A choice to GROW no matter what.
Raise your voice and make your choice made known.