This journey continues to change me. Just when I think I have learnt it all, something comes up and begs for an answer. This week it has been all that,
‘Communication…intentional communication is the key.’
Remember at the start, coach had me decide on my goals and set the targets myself so I would not blame anyone for them? Selecting the goals was the easy part. I opted to do a digital food diary so he sees I am eating and daily exercise with a bi-weekly weigh in. How do we keep this accountability thing going? Communication! Every day I post my routine, food and lessons if any and he responds with questions, insights and encouragement. It can get tiring and it is easy to say what the heck and walk away.
The other day as I was mulling over this and kind of complaining to God, He drew a line from here to the rest of my life. He reminded me of conversations I have had about communication, and the fact that it is the key beyond my life change plan. The lessons He is teaching here are critical for my next phase. so I stopped to interrogate the lessons.
Several questions came up.
- How is consistent communication achieved and maintained through decades of life?
- Does true, open and honest communication exist?
- Is consistent, intentional communication even a possibility?
Yes this kind of communication is possible when it is premised on trust. If I trust you, I won’t catch feelings i.e. take things personally, when you speak your truth and you won’t when I speak mine. As humans, we often catch and we must build the kind of communication that repeatedly proves itself to the point we know the other person truly cares so we can trust their motives and that they won’t intentionally break us down. When we learn to listen to what is being said and the person is being genuine it is possible to accept it as honest. That’s the best kind of communication though it is a bit rare.
Most of us don’t have the time, patience, know-how, desire or capacity to deal with the ensuing vulnerability from honest communication. It takes truly hearing what the other person says, trusting it and living by it. It takes saying what you mean clearly and honestly and living by it. I remember times when coach would question a routine or the number of reps I was doing and all I heard was you are not good enough and went off. He’d push back and ask where the insecurity is coming from then explain what he meant. It took a while for me really see that he was really interested in my growth so he would call me out when he noticed I was settling.
Honest communication therefore, means a safe place to open up and where you know for sure you won’t be accused, judged, executed or tossed out of the community but will be heard, corrected, loved and appreciated. It is possible to cultivate though it takes time. Why is it important? We’re built for companionship. The more we connect, the greater the likelihood deeper bonds and connections hence the need for clear communication.
My desire to walk as my father has determined for me as a vessel of His love and mercy hence I am willing to learn to communicate as He says I should. Where are you on this journey? Are you even on it?