The Simple Life

Today…


Today I need You to hold my hand
Today I need You to hug me close
Today the sun seemed to dim
Today the clouds were very dark
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Today You took Your daughter
Today You uncovered my madness
Today You showed me the foolishness
Today You broke my heart
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Today the shipment was delayed
Today the account was emptied
Today the order was cancelled
Today it all seemed to go south
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Today the tears flowed freely
Today my hopes crashed and burned
Today the wheels lost traction
Today it all unravelled
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Today You promised healing
Today You promised answers
Today You called me to trust You
Today You said it would be well
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I must admit I don’t understand
I must confess I’m kinda mad
I will say I am tired
I accept I was losing hope
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I hold on because I have no other
I seek You because You are my peace
I let the tears flow because You say it’s ok
I come to the throne as you promised healing

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#NoExcuses #NoLimitations #Shifting

The Simple Life

Reflections of Fatherhood


Fatherhood….

Wow…that word strikes a chord in my heart. I am looking around at all the young men around me and I swallow the tears on the inside. My heart weeps because I don’t know how we will recover the generation of young men who have been raised without a solid male role model. I also cry when the girls around me are imbalanced because of the absence of the same solid male role model. There’s no shortage of female role models showing the girls how to do it and challenge the boys but there are serious gaps.

Fatherhood is more than the ability to make a girl pregnant though we so often make it just that. Fatherhood is so much more than that. Many of us have our biological fathers alive and well and we love them but their lives haven’t added very much to our own lives. Others have the most amazing and engaged fathers while others have none at all, yet we all need the presence and love of our fathers.

My position is that a father doesn’t have to be biological to help someone become all they can be. I believe a father needs to look after their child either birth or taken in and see who they can be and then do all they can to help the ‘child’ reach there. Over the years I have seen the importance of a demanding father who will settle for nothing less than my best. In some of my most unsettled moments, my Daddy stepped in and would not relent until I was on the right track. I must admit that he has been tough on me when I was slacking off and spinning my wheels. He has also been the smile, word of advise or hope and hug to remind me that he loves me unconditionally.

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In the hardest times when I shared all the foolishness I had been up to that was holding me back, I learnt what unconditional love really meant. He dealt ruthlessly with the foolishness but gently prayed for me to get back and remain on the path. He was careful to remind me that only God can lead and guide me to remain true and I must lean in.

I have learnt that a father is a friend, confidant, disciplinarian, priest, prophet, mentor, and guide. He is no holds barred, honest, true and passionate. He is the vision builder extraordinaire, work ethic trainer, focus driver, greatest example and just a man. He sets the pace for how his son’s and daughter’s function in the world, relate to work, interpret the world. He is a strong hand, a still voice of correction, a smile of compassion, a soft apology, love personified, grace to rise and strength to never give up.

A father is about loving & raising strong balanced children, living by example; real conversations about real issues. He deals with each child individually with the right pressure, exposure, conversation, dreaming…pushing. He is unashamed of his faults because he understands that failure discussed and assessed produces greater growth. He knows that his children stand on his shoulders and they need a full understanding of life.

He is just a man, led by God and raising the needed champions to change the world

Thank you to all the fathers working hard to raise their children. To all these men; I celebrate you.

Above all, I celebrate my father because he has re-written my understanding of fatherhood and raised me to be a better version of myself.

The Simple Life

I Couldn’t Take My Eyes Off Her


I saw her as soon as I walked in

Cute, carefree, smiling

Standing on the sidelines

But clearly in command

And I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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When I looked around the room

I wasn’t the only one watching

Others looked her way every time she laughed

All trying to do it casually

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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She was clearly out of my reach

More refined than I could ever be

Well spoken, well read, well dressed

Likely more exposed than me

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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Then she turned and smiled at me

I turned and looked around just to be sure

She laughed and rolled her eyes

Then headed straight to me

I couldn’t take my eyes off her

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‘Good evening’ she said

‘Welcome to the party

And don’t look so shocked

We have been waiting for you to arrive’

I couldn’t speak; I was shocked

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How did she know who I was?

Why was she expecting me?

What was the catch?

Who set me up

I couldn’t speak; I was shocked

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She laughed at the look on my face

Turned back to the bar and nodded

A server drink in hand walked towards us

And came to stand in front of me

I couldn’t speak; I was shocked

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A sip of the drink and I was stunned

Just what I was thinking of ordering

Who was this woman & how did she know me well

What had I stepped into?

Would I regret this moment?

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The music changed, the lights dipped

A follow spot appeared to be searching the room

The crowd went silent, they followed the light

And I followed it too around the room

Until it rested on me

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I turned to her standing in the light with me

A million questions rushing through my mind

She smiled at me and said aloud

“Good evening sir, happy 40th birthday

We hope you have a blast.”

#TellOurStories #NoExcuses #NoLimitations

The Simple Life

Then It Was Gone


One day it was fun and the next it wasn’t

One day I loved my work and the next I didn’t

One day we were close and the next we weren’t

One day I was happy and the next I wasn’t

Ok, so let’s be real and say that isn’t true

We all know that we lose interest in things over time

Times and seasons change and we don’t keep track

Then one day it no longer makes sense

So to be honest it took time to change

Three years to lose interest in my work

Four years to lose that deep connection

Eight years to completely lose the joy

It took repeated losses and struggles to give up

Regular arguments and avoidance to lose touch

Immeasurable disappointment to see you didn’t care

Intense sadness and struggle to lose my joy

It took inexplicable loneliness for the tears to fall

Indescribable sadness to accept you were gone

Great losses and down time to shut the business

Untold shame to give up totally

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Yet He wouldn’t let me stay down

He wouldn’t let me wallow too long

He wouldn’t move on without me

He stopped the world to get me up

He sat beside me as I called Him names

He sent His children to wipe my tears

He dragged me along when I refused to walk

He breathed on me so I could sing

I kicked Him more times than I could say

I called Him names I wouldn’t call another soul

I screamed at Him for being fake

Yet He wouldn’t smite me even when provoked

Why would You care for a girl like me?

Why bother to lift me up?

Why forgive the madness I had done?

Why stand beside me till I got up?

What do you know about my life?

What do you have planned for me to become?

What must I do for You in this life?

What does Your mind have in store for me?

Will You show me the full picture?

Will You tell me the full story?

Will You open the doors in advance?

Will You push until it’s done?

I cannot do this without you Papa

I am but a child in this walk together

So come alongside and show the way

If I will every become all You see in me

#NoExcuses #NoLimitations #TellOurStories #Shifting

The Simple Life

Six Foot & Still


I saw him from the bus window

He arrived just before the bus left

Dropped off by a beautiful woman

And he had love in his eyes as he looked at her

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He was about six feet tall, dark chocolate complexion,

Something in him took  him beyond handsome

He wasn’t feminine in any way

But there was a softness about his appearance

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He walked right to my seat…mmmh my seatmate

Oh my goodness, I hope he wasn’t a talkative one

He had a gentle smile and said hi

Then put his small bag on the over head rack

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He settled in, put on his sweater, mitts and marvin

In went the ear phones and chosen play list

Crossed his hands, closed his eyes

And promptly became still, probably asleep

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Eyes, closed, ding dong, lights out…just like that

How is that even fair?

How can someone sleep so easily?

The journey was long and he was asleep in minutes

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Two hours and many kilometres later, I was still awake

My seatmate was still asleep as still as a log

Shoulders straight, head square and steady

It was as if he was in his own bed…he didn’t twitch

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How can someone settle so deeply?

How did one still their body so completely?

How could someone be so comfortable in any place?

This was beyond me.

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Am I that at home in my own skin?

Am I able to settle in and be me anywhere?

Am I solid and unmovable in my place?

Can I be completely still and rest?

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There is so much to learn before I get there.

There is a lot of unpacking and decoding.

But there is a place of peace I am pursuing

A place of deep connection in my spirit

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There is place within me that only God can reach

Once He gets it fully, I will be still

So I open the door for Him daily

Desperately longing for the stillness

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There is a place within that is healing daily

Every breath is getting me closer

Every day is a new opportunity

Every thought is a step higher

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There is a place that is getting stronger

My smile is coming from deeper within

From a healing heart and spirit

From a more stable human

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I am better than I have ever been

I am getting better every day

I know the journey is still long

Yet I will walk it to the end

The Simple Life

He Gets It


I get it… and I’ve cried many tears because of it.

It’s hard when we are living in that space where our head knows God can do anything but our heart is heavy because He’s not doing what we are hoping for… what we’ve prayed for… what we’ve believed for, for a long while.

Three Helps for This Hurt

~ Lysa TerKeurst ~

  1. God often works in the unseen. Just because we can’t see it or feel it doesn’t mean He’s doing nothing.
  2. Is there something God has been prompting you to do that you’ve been resisting or delaying? Ask for the grace and courage to take that step today. The one who obeys God’s instruction today will be able to more clearly discern His direction for tomorrow.
  3. Don’t take what feels like a lack of intervention as a sign of His lack of affection. Look for ways today, God is showing you assurances of His love. His deep affection is all around you friend ❤

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This season of growth has been intense and sometimes downright upsetting until I found out that I needed to change my mind about the situation. Let me explain.

So God has given me a certain assurance that my path is a certain one but the current circumstances don’t look like there is progress. I don’t always know what to think or how to think about things so I began asking God to clarify. Why didn’t I ever realise that He actually answers prayers? Ha! I had preconceived ideas of how He should work and it was according to how my limited mind works.

We were conditioned into thinking that God is only present when things are going the way we want them. So when things aren’t working it looks like He has gone and is looking the other way but there is nothing further from the truth than that.

I think about David after Nathan had come and chastised him for his relationship with Bathsheba. He fasted, prayed and cried to God for the life of his son for seven days then the child died. When the child died, he got up showered and ate to the astonishment of his people. His answer to them was ‘…now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.’ 2 Sam 12:23.

I know it sounds flippant but it isn’t. It is an expression of faith and a renewed mind that he could not alter the mind of God.

2019 has presented many instances where I have questioned the plan of God because it hasn’t made sense but I am aware that I was looking at things from my perspective and not God’s and that was the difference. This weekend He allowed me to begin to see that His ways even though inexplicable and seemingly impossible always bring good.

When someone who loves and serves Him dies, they go to Him, what is so bad about that? When someone who has been sick for a while rests in Him, they are out of pain and healed for ever, what is so bad about that? When I lose a house but still have health and breathe and I can regain what I had, what is so bad about that? When I have to get on a matatu to get everywhere, what is so bad about that? When I lose the business that I worked so hard to build but still have the contacts and energy to regroup, what is so bad about that?

When someone you think loves you walks away from you in your time of need as if you are well, what is so bad about that? When you love with all you have and know-how and it goes south or you pray for that baby with all you have and it doesn’t happen or you pray for the baby and they come but your partner walks away and disengages or you lose your pillar and friend in the middle of the biggest crisis? He will always ask me, what is so bad about that?

I am not being flippant but I have been through so much and every time without fail He has asked me what is so bad about that and I couldn’t see it. It took so long to understand until one day He had mercy on me and began to break things down. When He began showing me who I need to become and how I need to grow then I could see how the path I was on was the way to the finish line.

Do I understand it? Not always but I understand that this path is the reason I am alive. My goal is to become everything He says I am and to shift the world for Him. If a few challenges are in the way then so be it. Saying so be it, shifts how my mind works and accepts the realities around me.

He sees, He feels, He knows, so I can trust Him with my life.

The Simple Life

My Father: The Example


My Daddy C is the best in world

But you may not like him

He’s the epitome of love

But wields a big stick

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Nothing gets past him that he needs to notice

No one can pull the wool over his eyes

You can’t pull a fast one on him

So don’t even try

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Don’t try and lie because God will whisper in his ear

Don’t say you will do something he will hold you to account

Don’t stop growing or you won’t understand what he is saying

Don’t feel entitled or you will be disappointed

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I have known him for over a decade and he has never changed

He loves God more than all us and cannot suffer fools

He gives you what you need not what you want

He pushes you to become the best version of yourself

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If God has nothing for you through him you get nothing

He is not interested in theatrics or platitudes

The only thing you will get from him is God

He is too concerned with his walk to give you less

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I used to wonder why he is distant and didn’t baby me

Until I realized that my path demanded a strong woman

He spoke little, asked many questions and pushed hard

Until I understood that it was for my good

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I learnt to seek God more than him

I learnt to know my place in the plan with God

I learnt to be sure of the voice of God and to seek His heart

I learnt that God is the reason I know Daddy and not the other way around

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I love Daddy but I love God more

I love talking to Daddy but I talk to God more

I would love Daddy’s approval but I seek God’s more

I would love to make Daddy happy but I’m desperate to bring God glory

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God is my love, my heart, my all

He is the ruler, king and Lord of my life

He draws me closer and determines who I walk with

God makes my life worth it

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Daddy must walk run his race with perseverance so must I

I will seek guidance but he is not the deciding factor

He is a guide and the evidence that walking with God is possible

I must meet, walk with and become the FULLEST expression of God to my generations

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