Tag Archives: Interpersonal relationship

Her needs


We all know the story of Genesis 3 where Eve was convinced to eat the fruit and she convinced Adam to eat and they were then thrown out of the garden of Eden. So did you ever really see verse 16 & 17?

To the woman He said….. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” 

Then to Adam He said….Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life.


There are many women folk who are unhappy with how their relationships with their spouses are going. For a long time I have wondered if there is something we are missing then one day in conversation with my sister we discussed this scripture and I had a flash of revelation. Let me explain.


Eve was told that her desire would be for her husband and he would rule over her. Adam was told about toil for the rest of his days. Get it? Eve would want a deep and close relationship with her husband and look up to him for everything. Adam on the other hand was clueless. For real he was. He did not get the memo about being there for her as she needed him to be rather he was set over her as a ruler. I am not giving the men a get out of work free pass but I just realised we are on different wavelengths from the beginning. However, there is a difference between what we desire and what they were told about.


God’s idea of marriage was to mirror his relationship in the Trinity but sin entered and spoiled the equation. He intended total connection and commitment with clear communication and no competition. Each one would have his or her role and make a clear effort to achieve the common goals. The fall of man completely scuttled the plan so that it takes the hand of God for us to work together and be the kind of people he intends for us to be.


So here we have the daughters of Eve wanting deep contact and communion with the sons of Adam who are totally clueless on what is needed. The desire though, God-given, must be met differently from how we are trying to meet it. Many of the men and women have tried to meet each other’s needs but we speak different languages from each other so their efforts come to nothing at all.


In the end the reality is that only God can transform us to daughters of Heaven and then meet the desires of our hearts and love us the way we desire to be loved. It is utterly impossible for even a son of Heaven to be all we need them to be let alone for us to meet their needs. It is therefore my suggestion that we all take time to look to God and invest in our relationship with him that will stand the test of time and reach into eternity. He will respond and reach into our lives and sort the things that we desire to have him sort. We are called to seek first the kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to us, (Matt 6:33).


I believe this system of relationship also refers to relationships in all sectors of our lives including work and other social relationships. The beauty of God’s work is that He deals with one area at a time and is very interested in our relationship with him as an on-going process. There is no greater place than to find peace and love in the arms of an everlasting God who looks out for our best interests all the time whether or not it seems that way. He loves us and will show each one clearly which way to go and works it all out step by step.


I call each of us to take the time to get to know Him deeper and deeper and see how He will begin to work things out one step at a time.