We are likely never ready for grief even when it is expected. We often underestimate how deeply we feel and closely we love people until they are gone. Even when we have told them how much we love them, the finality of death is on a level that shocks and shakes us to the core yet it is only one level of grief.
Grief is experienced from the loss of anything that is of value to us. When we lose relationships, actual things, jobs, dreams…anything we have placed a value on, there is a deep measure of grief. It is driven by the perceived finality of the situation at that moment and in the future. Most of the rest a reversible but death is the one that hurts the most and is irreversible.
So if we can never adequately prepare for grief, what can we do?
We can live life as if we are in our last days…with abandon and absolute commitment. We must say everything we need to say, to whoever we need to say it to and never hold back in our communications. Do not think I am endorsing being mean to people in the way we deal with people; not at all. I mean letting people know how important they are to us and how much we value them.
We enjoy every day to the fullest. Smell the roses, sit in the sun, run in the rain, catch the seeds as they fall, harvest fruits from a tree, and just live life. Enjoy the relationships with a cup of coffee outdoors, a shared bowl of ice cream, a split piece of cake, and an evening by the fire.
We can forgive one another and let go of the drama. I know that a measure of drama adds spice to life but too much drama is tedious and drains our energy. So we must let go of the arrogance, drama, and hardness, then choose to live in a place of brokenness, hang on to the good and let go of the bad and the ugly. Allow people to walk away when they want to even if you may still want them around.
I choose to work through the grief and pain so that it doesn’t break me.