Managing this life

Life…despite all the challenges and the highpoints, I love life and am glad to be here and have the opportunity to make a difference. As a big part of my life, I love to journal and have done so for many years and it has changed my life. Whether I am feeling out of sorts with myself or have had a really exciting day, I pick up my journal and off I go one key stroke at a time to fill page after page. It is like talking to a close friend except this friend doesn’t really answer back. Well, that is may not be entirely true. You see, when I write and interact with the questions at hand, my mind begins to develop options and solutions for the problems. Stange huh? The most interesting part of it for me is that at the end of it all, I am fresher and freer and can now make clear headway. Hey don’t write me off yet! I have not lost it. I just found a way to deal with the challenges in life. Have you ever journaled? Have you ever felt that rush? It is surreal.

I sat with a friend recently and as we talked, I had so much to say about where I was at in life because I understood myself. This has been a season fraught with challenges and uncertainy so what a relief when in the midst of it all I could answer really hard questions about me and where I am at. The scary bit is that so often I get to the place where I know what I need to do but it is so radical that I cannot begin to do it. Then fear sets in and I don’t do anything. It is sometimes laughable and others heart rending.

For instance, several years ago I was reading past entries in my journal and I reached a major turning point. I was reading a portion from five years before and I realised that there was an issue I had been upset about then and had once again complained about in my journal just that week. How could it be that five years later I was still complaining about the same thing in the same tone? Did that mean I had not grown or moved on or was I stuck? It took me aback to realise that it was possible that I was stuck in one place. This let me to a drastic decision to solve the issue at hand immediately.

Every so often I find something that I have not moved on from and I get the energy and sense of urgency to deal with it. I like the sense of assessment my journal gives me. It allows me to look back to the things I am going through and find peace and rest in the midst of it all. Additionally it allows me to see areas of repeat failings that need outside assitance to overcome. I have found my place of stability and sanity.

Even as I say this I realise that not all of us ar able to journal and find the kind of refreshment I find in my journalling. One of my friends put it well when she said the reason she wouldn’t journal is because she doesn’t want to be reminded where she failed. I understand her yet know that I need to be able to look at all options and make sure I am on the right track. I know journalling is not a global solution rather it is for a select few. So it begs the question: how do you deal with the internal questions and struggles? How do you find the answers to the things that bother you?

12 thoughts on “Managing this life

  1. mbithe

    the other day i realised that i need to find a way to deal with my issues…maybe this is something i can pursue and see what comes out of it…will try and let you know

  2. Elizabeth

    I started keeping a journal early this year and got a bit frustrated along the way when I looked back and saw my frustrations in the goals that I had set in my life like five years ago. But I guess in the longrun, its never too late to pick up the pieces and carry on the journey of life only this time the strategies may need to change to avoid falling back into old habits and old excuses.
    Thanks for sharing

    1. kyesubire Post author

      I know the frustrations and it is not easy to keep it going. Long-term is the best perspective to pay. I have learnt to congratulate myself for the small achievements i have made then the big ones look attainable despite the current setbacks. Will keep you accountable and encouraged. Look forward to hearing from you

  3. humph

    How come men find it so hard to keep a journal? if you can find out why you would understand why I understand the getting stuck. am yet to complete a full weeks journal.A good excuse? busy!

    1. kyesubire Post author

      I think that is an excuse my dad has kept one of his prayers for many years…well that makes it many seeing that he keeps getting a new one when the old one is over. i think that the reason is that guys are not even enough space or time by the demands of life and all. again, there is the reality that it is often considered chickish to keep one…i bet i could find out more and i am on the trail of that….i will definitely give you reasons as soon as i know them

  4. Tbagz

    i journal on and off until this week when i read Eddah Adoyo’s book “And she shall be called women.” She encourages us women (men too humph) to journal our thots, troubles, prayers and the solutions or answers we have/get to keep track of our progress. Love this, go gal!!

  5. Laura

    Hi Kyessse,

    Its great to hear your thoughts.

    Journals are great. For me journals are reminders of great faithfulness. Mostly, i journal Bible verses, impressions on my heart and WOW moments of a particular day.

    1. kyesubire Post author

      It is great to know that others have the same thoughts about writing. I realise that regardless of what we journal when we follow our thoughts it keeps us accountable. keep going and come back and tell us the results.

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