Introspection is a part of my life that jumps up daily and calls for attention. It is more evident when I am processing things. 2020 has been about lots of processing and though it has been a little taxing, I have come to really love it.
I was thinking about my life looking back 20 and drawing parallels to today. It was interesting that I loved emerald green and cream. I would gladly have those colours in as many pieces of clothing as possible. I also needed to find ways to hid so I hid behind flared skirts and trousers a lot. This helped me fade into the background or so I thought.
Fast forward a few years and I went to dark colours so it was all about black, navy blue and brown trousers with long tops. Some tops were coloured some were muted, and I stayed in this place for many years because it provided safety and comfort in a turbulent season.
Life is never static, so the tide begun to turn and I found my life changing. My mind was shifting, my thoughts were challenged, my patterns of life were challenged to be place of breaking. It took a while, but the change in my inside brought changes on the outside. As I stabilised in my thoughts and was more accepting of the new position, my colour palette changed first to pastels then to bright colours and finally to large bold prints.
The next change was my perception of self and that was hard. I faced off with who I was, how I looked, all my gifts and skills, the failings and risings; all brought together on one page. As self-acceptance rose, I saw changes. The biggest change was when I could wear fitted clothing instead of all flared and baggy. One day entered a room and my sister gasp in shock at the gravity of the change that brought understanding to her of the true meaning of shifting.
The external shift speaks of an internal shift previously invisible.
I can now see how the changes in the colours I wore have always signified different phases of my life linked with spiritual growth, emotional cycles, and different states of physical wellbeing. You would not know the gravity of each season or related colour change as an onlooker, just understand that each season needed a different focus to keep on track and get through.
Every change brought forth a new version of me daily growing towards better. It has really been an intense journey and for a long time I couldn’t see the depth of change. It all broke forth when Papa said he could see things were changing. I was perplexed because I couldn’t see them so I asked him how? His answer was insanely simple, “You now wear colour.” I thought I was hidden but his man, who prays for me and calls God’s purpose to account in me had been watching and smiling as he saw the shift.
Shifts are visible to the discerning eye, but invisible to all others.
Know that even if you have not seen it, every day creates or produces subtle changes in your life that can and must be tracked. Every change alerts you of possibilities, realities and opportunities. Be present in your life and track it, you will learn a lot and you will thrive.
Shalom.
