Category Archives: THE CHRISTIAN WALK

Laughter is the best way.

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I laugh and smile easily, even in difficult times. Sometimes people think I am always happy, fake it, or do not deal with issues, yet that is far from the truth.

Why do I smile? I smile because I choose joy daily as my source of strength. My smile comes from very deep and is very broad. My laugh comes from the depths of my soul. My eyes join with every smile and laugh. My heart beats stronger with every smile and laugh. I literally feel lifted whenever I laugh or smile. It never matters how painful the circumstances are, you can always find a laugh or a smile within me.

Smiles and laughter do not mean I never experience or cause pain. It just means I have found my way to deal with life in every circumstance. I find that no matter how hard the situation there is always something to be joyful and grateful about. Do not get me wrong…there is pain but there are also ways to deal with pain that do not include a consistently long face.

It took me a long time to understand how important smiling and laughter are for my sanity. A few years ago, after a long stressful period, I reconnected with an old friend who mentioned that I have a beautiful smile but didn’t show it often enough. Due to the state of my life and emotions at the time, I laughed and didn’t believe him immediately.

It did not matter that the world could see the beauty radiating from me, as long as I could not see it, it remained something I didn’t understand or fully explored. At that moment, I was so caught up in surviving that I had forgotten how to smile and laugh fully. It was as if some of me had died along the way and I could not recover it. I did not believe him and he challenged me to look at myself in the mirror and smile…really smile then tell him what I found.

When you lose something valuable or important, it is easy to get caught up in the sense of loss and be unable to recover it. I had lost my joy in life because my heart had broken repeatedly. In some instances, it was others who broke it and in others, it was my own doing. I did not see my handprint at first but in time, after deep reflection, I saw it and could not blame others.

It was hard and at the start my smiles were fake but over time they became bigger and more beautiful. sometimes I would take calls with people who make me laugh as I stood in front of the mirror to see my smile and how my eyes twinkle. Boy oh boy, wasn’t it surprising how big and beautiful. I remember writing a piece about that if you are looking for a ladylike, soft laugh then I am the wrong candidate because I have a very deep and loud laugh from the depths of my belly and express it freely with my head thrown back.

Nothing reflects the state of one’s heart better than a smile and laughter. 

Today, many people hide behind fake smiles and laughter, but you can pick it out with a trained eye and ear. Why do we hide behind fakeness? There are many reasons like hidden pain, trauma, disappointment, sadness, and uncertainty, to name a few. Is it always easy to smile and laugh? Not at first but when you understand that the source of the smile is inner peace and joy, you can tap into that no matter what. 

So when you see me smile and you know the pain in my life, do not think I am faking it. I am dealing with everything in a way that works for me.

image of a dock in the water with the words, "I am dealing with everything in a way that works for me...not you."

Grief is Transformative.

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Grief does a number on you you will never see it coming. 

I remember on the day of laying Fathe to rest, many people came up to me saying they had wanted to come but hadn’t because they were busy and now they were out of time. Some knew he had been unwell and were prompted to come but never did. The saddest ones for me were a couple of instances:

  • Those we had specifically called because we knew they were to receive a mantle to extend from his life and they never came.
  • Those who heard and in their heart of hearts knew they needed to come but could not or did not make time.
  • Those who could not deal with the sight of this once virile man, weak, silent, and bedridden so they never came.

As I have sat in this space with different people, i find it very fascinating how grief can change people. I am saddened for those who now carry a deep and crippling sense of guilt because they did not come. I know how that burden can break some. Yet I am critically aware that there is nothing I can do that will take away their guilt. The sadness I saw in their faces was devastating but there was nothing I could do about it. Even when we said it was ok, we could not wipe out the pain and regret there. I saw people stand by the grave and stare as if they needed to have a moment to reconnect…but he was gone for good.

It is easy to hear that someone is unwell and not be able to visit them but when you feel the unction to talk to someone, do it. If your heart longs to see someone, go and see them. Whatever it is you need to do, make sure you do it. Live life without regret and free of wonder. 

Shalom.

Faith holds us accountable

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In a piece I wrote called, He remains faithful, I said that no matter how it gets, God is in control. I realised my life has to be the first port of display of this truth if I proclaim it.

I’m one of those people whose devices give extremely good service. My phones give me five years and my laptops up to ten years. I rarely replace things because I’m bored, rather I replace them because the device no longer serves the purpose. 

In December, my phone notified me about its performance. I kept getting notices about the battery life and every so often it hang for no reason.  The young king was watching he seemed more alarmed about it than I was and he couldn’t understand why I was so blase about the situation. Every week he said something about it and my standard response was “God will provide the resources or the phone.” Was that a hiding tactic? Not at all. It was my truth because unless God provided resources, I didn’t have anything extra available to make a big purchase. This led to four months with him living on the edge and me flouncing through life seemingly carefree.

Fast forward a few weeks and I’m trying to figure out how to replace his phone when a dear friend and one of my leads offered to take him to trade in his phone and get a new one. As they did that they find a phone for me. That sounds simple enough right? Well, we have two old phones to trade in then we top up the difference and I am sure we have an option coming. As they wait for some things to be sorted, another client walks in and trades in a good phone of the brand I usually use. 

Unbeknownst to the young king, my lead calls me and tells me about the phone. He thinks I should get it but I dismiss the idea because I didn’t have money. He repeats that I need to get it and I say I am trusting God for resources. The young king calls me and mentions the same phone with a plan of how I could acquire it. He offers to trade the resources he has acquired so painstakingly to me so that I can get this phone and I am not sure.

However, I am still trying to use that phone as a stopgap for him for about six weeks which will allow me to make something and get him the phone he wants as I pick this one. As we spoke, clarity of what my lead had said to me earlier came and I suddenly understood the right position…trade in my current phone and top up the difference from my business account because it is a tool of the trade and leaves the young king’s money for his phone. Suffice it to say, trading in and getting used phones did the trick.

What caught my attention was that not only did the young king have the confirmation that I would get a phone, but he also had insight into how it would come and was aware enough to see it before I did. My words that God would provide the resources were proven when the other customer walked in with a phone to dispose of, trading in my current phone cut the cost by more than half and I had just enough in savings for the balance. Yet it was not clear until the young king voluntarily stepped aside to sacrifice getting his phone so he could get me mine. He also received a reward because the door opened for an even better phone than what he had initially found.

God fascinates me because while we are still sitting in corners and sulking or wondering he is at work sorting things out and aligning answers. Scripture is so clear that He is prepping with words like, “It shall also come to pass that before they call, I will answer; and while they are still speaking, I will hear.” (Is 65:23). This incident helped me realise that even when the path is unclear for me, God is not asleep or taking a vacation. He is right there with me walking the path with me giving me the guidance I need because He knows what I need before I ask Him (Matt 6:8). If He can care for the flowers, the grass, the trees, the birds, the animals in the wild, surely I am of more value than these (Matt 6:25-31) and he will definitely supply all my needs according to HIS riches in glory (Phil 4:19).

God is not a butler who is at my beck and call neither is he a fairy godfather who lavishly dispenses. He is a father. Father is an economy. Father is the source, provider, protector, and preserver. He is the one who stands up and is counted on to ensure that his children do not lack. He calls me his own and has one major instruction for me to access everything. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matt 6:33-34. 

This does not mean that I do nothing other than stay in church, though that could be the call of some like Anna. Rather it means that:

  • I check every move with Him,
  • Finalise every plan with Him,
  • Evaluate every situation with Him,
  • Just live in tandem with HIM.

Oneness with God means not taking a stand or making a move without a clear word from Him. It means to be devoted to prayer and time with Him and to listen keenly to the word as He opens it up to me. It means access to ideas and opportunities others would never have seen or connected to because at that moment you are in the right place. 

Walking by faith is what God calls us to be and to do. The deep certainty that no matter how it looks or what is going on around, we know that we know that we know, that He will come through. It is knowing with certainty like we know our names, that HE is reliable. It is allowing Him to teach us His truths through His servants even those significantly younger than us (now this is a story for another day). It is being unmoved by the things around us and resting deeply on and in the word that has come from His mouth to us. 

Shalom.

Love is Transformational

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7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one

1 John 4:7-11

Love may translate into a feeling but it so much more than that. It is a daily choice to get closer to God and then live out our lives as he instructs.

Love is from God

Love is instruction

Love is a Covenant

Love is a supply line

Love is a source of strength

Love is an antidote or cure for fear

Love is a measure for our walk

Love triumphs over darkness

Love is a place of rest

Love is not earned

Love is accepted

Love is intentional

Love satisfies

Do you understand who you are?

You are the beloved of God, the apple of His eye, a city on a hill that cannot be hidden, a chosen one, a king, a priest. You are loved by God and that is enough.

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The Essence of Faithfulness

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Essence means the inherent nature or indispensable quality of something abstract or a concentrated extract. It is the thing that determines character. Faith means trust and devotion while faithful is remaining true to the fact, to be loyal and steadfast. A faithful person is the opposite of a traitor. Faithfulness is an action word and the quality of being faithful and keeping true to your word. It also means following through on your commitment,

One depiction of faithfulness is Ruth in Ruth 1:11-17.

Can you imagine getting married and your spouse passing on then your mother-in-law going back to her home? She asks you to remain but you choose to go with her no matter what. Ruth in the bible really intrigues me because I don’t know if I would have been that way. It is hard enough for many of us to leave things that are familiar but what would it be to uproot yourself completely?

A couple of things catch my attention:

She had and lost: the loss did not taint her sense of life. I imagine she still loved life and particularly her mother-in-law. What kind of relationship did they have? How had they cultivated it? Where did they deepen it? How did she maintain her inner sense of balance?

She chose to remain: Naomi begged her to go back to her family but she said no. I can imagine that as they walked or travelled Naomi would keep asking her to go back but she was steadfast. How did that certainty remain? What did she know that kept her with Naomi? I remember Naomi telling her that she could not give her a husband yet Ruth remained. Ah! This woman.

She listened to and followed instructions: Ruth had no knowledge of how to be a good Israelite woman. How could she, a Moabitess, know? So she listened and followed everything Naomi told her to do. I also imagine that she watched Naomi’s interactions with others, and listened in on conversations and prayer times. She was on track right down to the evening visit to the harvest fields to see Boaz.

How many of us would be so diligent in such challenging situations? Would you even think about it? What I find interesting is the seeming simplicity of her life even with very challenging circumstances. Remember they were two daughters-in-law and Orpah went back. Please note, there is nothing wrong with her going back. It is what made sense to her. Yet Ruth chose a different path because she knew in her hearts of heart that her path was aligned with Naomi and she would not let go.

Each of us has that kind of calling. There are people who are integral to our coming of age and reaching impact. In recent years, I have encountered several of my integral people and it has been transformative. They have spoken over me and challenged me to keep growing but it has also shown me a few things.

I RECEIVED a gift from God: it was inputted into me before my birth and it is designed to make my life journey successful. So do you!

I must WORK on and with the gift: the work includes understanding, using, creating room for others and growing through the process. So must you!

I must BEAR FRUIT: the proof of my life and gift is in the lives transformed; that is my fruit. A tree without fruit is either cut down or ignored so imagine a life that does the same. I must bring forth and so must you.

The only way to do this is to remain faithful to the call of God. I have a choice to remain faithful or not and I have learnt that being faithful to the cause is all that matters to me today. The essence of faithfulness is the CHOICE to remain true to who I am, what I know and who I am called to be.

Shalom

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Realigning to the assignment:

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I previously wrote about being out of line with my spiritual leader. If you missed it, be sure to read about submission or stubbornness. I could console myself that though I was out of line, it was mostly ever so slightly. Yet out of line, no matter how little is out of line and I needed to recalibrate and realign.

Realignment is not as simple as I expected it to be. I thought I would pray and get over it, but alas! It was so much more. God led me on a journey that brought all my pride and self-importance to the surface and then crumbled it one piece at a time. He exposed my sense of self and unveiled the ugliness underneath it. He uncovered the deep hurt and fear that made me build walls and showed it up for what it was: hiding.

How could I hide these things from myself for so long?

The unveiling of myself was somewhat painful but not hard. Realigning was the challenge. I had to acknowledge that distraction had moved me away from my assigned path. I was so used to my leader that I had forgotten how to listen, respect and honour him. 

In teaching, Apostle Selman explained that we are all multi-dimensional. We receive grace from people based on the dimensions of their lives we acknowledge and how we interact with them. So if I see my lead as a friend, I only receive friendship and friendly advice. If only a brother or sister, that is what I receive. If I see them as a prophet or priest and engage with that dimension, I will partake in the prophetic and priestly. However, to fully receive all that is mine, I must understand how God views them and their assignment and respond appropriately.

Ah! Indeed I was off track because I had become lax in my dealings. 

I expected my lead to understand when I did not show up as if I was showing up for him. I expected him to check on me and pray for me always. I expected others in the team to understand when I did not participate fully. I forgot to pray for him and the work he does. I missed learning opportunities because I had heard him speak so often that I was less engaged when he repeated teachings. 

My first port of realignment should have been the knowledge that God assigned me to His servant and work. I needed to reconnect to why God attached me to this particular leader. My behaviour was a great reflection of my relationship with God: a mirror of the importance I had given Him. My inconsistency and flippancy said a lot more about my walk of faith than I could imagine. 

The only remedy was total recalibration.

I asked God for sight, healing and restoration, pleaded for mercy and grace; I sought a pathway back to wholeness. God graciously gave them all to me. However, the work was still incomplete without an apology to my leader. It did not matter that I was one of the more consistent ones. It did not matter that he was not upset or frustrated with me. It only mattered that God had shown me my error that I had to correct. 

The apology brought me to my knees, head bowed by the weight of my actions. I had a clear picture of my faults and those of the team. I could see how our actions had short-changed many of us. Only God can understand what I saw that day and the weight of it. I understood how important honouring God’s servant appointed to lead us is.

Honour is a door to dimensions we would otherwise not know. It is the foundation of growth in all aspects of life and the key to revelation and insight. Honour cannot be traded or demanded. Honour is purely by the revelation of who the person is and what they represent in God. Honour is about obedience to divine instruction and not manipulation to get a blessing.

Honour bears rich and valuable fruit.

I received a verbal blessing for realigning, a lighter spirit and peace in the depths of my soul. Certain things that weighed me down and confounded me shifted. Major decisions I had made but could not keep became possible. My eyes opened, my ears popped, my mind connected to concepts then my hands produced good work. Now it was clear that the sense of stagnation I had was partly because of where my heart and mind had been. There are dimensions I could not rise into when I had dishonoured or been lax with the servants of God.

Do not be like me and live so flippantly that you miss your divine reality. 

My change has come as I have learned to believe the word of God fully. The shift has settled as I have begun to see my leaders for who they are in God’s sight. I have become watchful of the leads I serve and now understand the truth of who they are. I have changed how I interact with my leaders. The measure of grace I receive from them has also changed. 

Sometimes we wonder why things are not working. Doors to opportunities remain shut while the promises we are waiting for remain unmet. Has something in this article challenged you? Good! Now have a conversation with God; ask Him to show you the state of your heart, what is off track and how to turn it around. 

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Submission or Stubbornness?

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If you have read my blog for a while, you know conversations are the trigger I need to create the right words. To the new readers, welcome to partake in a tasty banquet of honest conversations. This space is about learning and revelation because none knows everything; we learn something new daily.

I have been talking about submission and will likely keep circling back here a lot over the next few months as I continue to learn about it. 

Today let us discuss submission to authority. Submission is a conscious choice to live in and under the leadership of another. It is about obedience and commitment, a deep trusting connection directly related to love and a decision.

Recently as I listened to a teaching, a new dimension of submission came to the fore. When God calls us to submit, let us must remember it is to all authority around us, including the spiritual covering us. Our spiritual leader is the person who guides us in our walk with God even though we do most of the work. 

An effective spiritual authority does not lord things over us or demand obedience. They know who they are, who God has sent to them and what each one needs. They are prayerful, faithful to and diligent in the Word. They only have a word for those actively seeking God and can discern the truth in each situation. They are not manipulative because they are confident in God’s power and ability to change people without their help.

A friend asked me how well I knew my spiritual authority. 

He shared how God had been speaking to him about respecting and submitting to authority and what he learnt shocked him. It was clear to him that we needed to change our dealings with our lead. We needed to connect, submit, honour and work with the appointed servant of God so that our lives work out well. We needed to consult God about the connections and preserve them as instructed.

Think of Elisha and Elijah. Elisha wasn’t the only prophet in the land, yet he was the one called to support Elijah. He quickly answered, connected to the calling to serve, left his home and everything he knew and followed Elijah. It was not an easy decision to follow diligently; Elisha was faithful. In the end, he received a double portion of the anointing. He appropriately extended the work of God and honoured Him with his life.

I have to admit I hadn’t asked God about my lead recently. I knew him but hadn’t even considered that I could be out of line or that I needed to go deeper. I had assumed that since I was serving, all was still well. Alas, it was not so. All was not well. You can imagine the questions that started running through my mind about my lead:

  • Who is this man in God?
  • What does he carry that I am assigned to support?
  • How must I support the work?
  • How often must I be available?
  • What about his anointing and ordination that my life extends or multiplies?
  • Have I honoured him as God would have me do?
  • Am I genuinely and willingly submitting?
  • Is my submission half-hearted?
  • Have I been faithful to the assignment God has given me?
  • Sadly, in most cases, I had been lacklustre and half-hearted.

I could console myself that though I was out of line, it was mostly ever so slightly. Yet out of line, no matter how little is out of line and I needed to recalibrate and realign. Contrary to my expectations, it was a journey that brought all my pride to the surface and then crumbled it one piece at a time. 

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I submit to you.

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I will stand by you,

I will support you,

I will honour you,

I will love you

I submit to you.

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I will support your calling

I will support your work

I will be your backup

I will stand with you

I submit to you.

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I am in your corner,

I am your support,

I am your backup,

I am here for you for

I am staying as long as it takes

I submit to you.

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I submit to you

I will ensure grow

I will protect God’s word over you

I will trust the process

I will work diligently

I submit to you.

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I love you

I do not always understand its depth

I do not always know how to express it

I do not want to miss out on my assignment

I will love you as long as it takes

I submit to you.

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Acceptance changed me

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God has been speaking to me about submission for a while. 

I have been listening keenly to Him about submission. Even with the listening, it has taken a while for me to shift into a position of submission. Yes, the best posture. Yeiledness is about moving into the correct stance based on an instruction from God. 

Why would God take me down the road of submission?

It takes me back to when I realised I struggled to be led. The inability to let someone else guide me was a problem. Why? I cannot see things they can see. There is a place I need to get to by following them. What I know or can achieve will not matter if I disconnect from an appointed person. Choosing to submit is a game changer. 

Imagine you need to learn facial surgery under a specialist maxillofacial surgeon. You would take attend every class or surgery and appointment. You would listen keenly. You would take copious notes and ask questions so you learn. You know you can trust their opinion, instruction and leadership. When able, you would debate treatment plans and seek consultations from them until you understand what they know. 

So why not submit with joy and the same kind of dedication? If the surgeon would ultimately unlock the right doors for you, why can’t you submit to the one appointed to be your lead? Why not submit to the servant of God established to lead you and provide spiritual covering, protection and preservation?

Submission is not for the weak. 

It is a conscious choice to live in and under the authority of another. It is about obedience and commitment. It is about a deep trusting connection. Submission is interesting because many expect it to be simple and directly related to love; it is about choice.

When submission is understood, it is a place of joy, a posture of strength, and a strong foundation. Submission liberates by creating trust and freedom based on honesty and truth. It is fuelled by deep conversations leading to deep connections. Submission is a daily, personal choice.

Submission does not happen in a day or a vacuum. It is a journey of trust and hope; it is choosing to believe, hope and stand firm in faith that this is the person or leader for you and they will never deliberately hurt you. Submission is unto the Lord first, then to those He assigns to us and us to.

God asked, ‘How submitted are you?’

I responded, ‘Not very, but I am willing to learn.’

That is how I started the journey. It has been and continues to be the most incredible journey of my life. 

Shalom.

The Transforming Power of Belief

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As I thought about moving from unbelief to belief, I realised that my early life had shaped my perspectives when I learned how to interact with people and what to expect. The shift happened as people decided to go on with their lives and keep growing. It became clear that I could not count on most of them because they had things to do that made me unimportant in their scheme of things. 

I had always assumed that everyone wanted me to see myself grow and become better until I learned that I had to take care of myself and my growth. I was perplexed because this did not look or feel authentic to how I wanted to be loved and appreciated.  

My ability to believe stuttered because of what I had experienced.

It took a while to understand that I am the total of my thoughts. My convictions and beliefs show in my words because they are inner work. In my reflections, I remembered Joseph, Esther and others in scripture who went through hard times but did not leave the faith. I also thought of people who went through hard times in this life and walked away from the faith.

I understood the dangerous notion that if we walk with God our Father, life should be stress-free and struggle-free but is that true? No, it is not. Show me anyone who did great things for and with God without some hard times in their lives. I have looked around but cannot find a single person whose life spoke to the enormity and goodness of God without going through something difficult.

But guess what; God never leaves us alone, especially in trying seasons.

God always steps in for His people and gives us a way out. We see this when he rescued Israel from Egypt using Moses and his crew and sorted Abraham by making it possible to have a child in his old age. God strengthened Mordecai to support Esther so she could go before the king and sent four unshakable Hebrew boys into captivity together so they would stand and keep each other accountable. He sent Ananias to anoint Paul after the Damascus experience and sent Phillip to interpret scripture for the Ethiopian eunuch.

God never promised us a good and simple life. He promised to be with us and manage things as we lean on him. God declared that he would stand with us and walk the journey no matter what happens, how long, how far or who walks with us. He promised to provide a way out in times of trouble like he did when Paul and Silas were in prison when the people prayed.

Faith is the certainty that God is on the throne and in control.

Belief now means a few different things to me:

  • I will stand on the word of God because it is reliable. 
  • Nothing will change or shift my position or faith in God.
  • I will align with people who encourage me and hold me to account for the journey.
  • I will speak the words of life to my heart and over my life.
  • I will remind myself of His goodness every day.
  • I will write a memorial of how He has come through for me.
  • I will align myself with His purposes for my life.
  • I will surround myself with people with a deeper understanding of divine principles.
  • I will remember that God is aware the state of affairs and all is well. 
  • I will stand on the plan for my life as designed in heaven.

Shifting to belief has meant that I must re-wire my mind to our new state and position. 

Scripture has become my foundation and strength. It encourages me daily to remain truthful and on course despite the situation.

  • And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
  • In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world. John 16:33
  • Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. Matthew 12:34,
  • Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen (Hebrew 11:1).

Do not despair in your situation, God has a plan for your ultimate good. Shalom.

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