My name is Jean and life isn’t really going as I had planned. A few years ago I had a perfect plan for where I wanted to be by this date. My hopes and dreams about life seem to have evaded me and I have not achieved them. I have so many questions that I need answered. My father loves and serves God and his life has been so full of the miraculous yet here I am his daughter struggling to live a life worthy of God’s favour. I feel like there is something I am missing that will connect me to the kind of favour and provision Daddy has. His life is idyllic…or at least it seems that way. How can it be that I am his child yet the outworking of the will of God is so different? I had always thought that because his life is working and I am doing all that I know to do mine will work out too. Well, right now…it is not like that so I need to have a chat with him and understand things.
Dad, I was wondering why my life is like this.
Like what my dear?
I do everything I know God wants me to do and I am so stuck in this rut.
I am struggling to make ends meet, my friends have better jobs than me, I have more demands on my life than I can meet and I want to so much more out of life.
So much more? More of what?
Life, excitement, achievement, success…everything!
So that I can be happy.
So, you are saying that if you have all the things you want you will be happy and content in life?
Are those things on God’s list for you?
What do you mean?
Does God want you to have all those things on your list of things to make you happy?
You hear from Him too baby girl, have you asked Him if he wants you to have those things.
Really Dad???? Really? You want me to ask God if He wants me to be rich and successful. You want me to ask Him if He wants me to have societal impact. You want me to ask Him if He wants me to provide for my needs. You want me to ask Him if I should buy a car or use public transport? Doesn’t He say that He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory?
Of course He says that. My real question to you is this, are the things you want God to supply for you the same things God knows you need to fulfil His purpose in your life?
Are you saying I am focusing on the wrong things?
I don’t know…are you?
Dad, doesn’t God promise to supply my needs?
Doesn’t He promise to bless me and the works of my hands?
Doesn’t that mean that I will have great success?
It could mean that.
Could mean that? Really??? What do you mean by that? Why wouldn’t God want me to have the things I want? Doesn’t He say that He will give me the desires of my heart?
So what did you mean when you asked, ‘Does God want you to have all those things’?
Daddy watching his baby girl and his heart broke for her. The frustration etched on her face represented the turmoil in her heart and he needed to speak the right thing so that she is turned back to the truth of God’s word. There was silence in the room for a long while as Jean’s thoughts run from list to list of things in her head and she realised she couldn’t really answer Daddy’s questions…all she had was more questions:
- Where the things she wanted the things God wanted her to have?
- Was her focus on the wrong things?
- Was she missing something?
- Why were these questions so hard to answer?
- Could it be that the things she had been looking at all her life were not the things that would get her from A to B?
- Was there a guarantee that things would work out and they would be to God’s honour and glory?
- Why where the questions dad is asking so painful?
- What was causing her such pain and discomfort with the question of if this was what God wanted her to have?
This conversation has plagued me all week as I have had to deal with the same questions about my life. I don’t have the answers and I am certain neither do you but I choose to pursue them to the end and find the reason I am here, where I need to be planted and what I need to have to succeed at God’s plan. I admit there is progress in my life but everyday something comes up that needs to be dealt with and my quest for answers takes on a greater and more desperate tone because I want to honour God above everything else in my life.
The walk continues…join me