Love is a CHOICE

I have listened to many people talk about love over the years. Only recently has love begun making sense. As we grew up, we bought into the notion that love is a feeling of warmth in the heart and a perfect mutual relationship with equal input from both parties. We thought that with love for one another, we would never disagree or be at odds with people we loved. We assumed that love magically removed discord, hurt and pain by inputting softness and sweetness. So imagine our surprise when we fought the most with people we loved. How could that be? 

Through my journey, I have listened and talked about love. Now I clearly see that I have missed many things. I discovered depths of truth I did not expect and great sadness in myself and others. I found many broken hearts like mine that needed healing hidden behind thick walls for protection. I realised that: 

I cannot force someone to love me; people have a choice to reciprocate or not. 

Love is not a feeling because feelings fade over time.

Love has to be modelled and taught because it is so complex.

Love is not limited; there is room for many people: family, friends, and community.

Love is different things to different people

Love never keeps silent 

Today I can confidently say that love is a choice because everything about love is a CHOICE.

A choice to stay

A choice to leave

A choice to give

A choice to receive

A choice to share 

A choice to care

A choice to rest 

A choice to awaken

A choice to rise

A choice to sit

A choice to learn

A choice to grow

A choice to check-in

A choice to check on

A choice to hold

A choice to let go

A choice to speak up

A choice to keep quiet

A choice to follow

A choice to lead

A choice to protect

A choice to provide

A choice to submit

A choice to obey

A choice to follow in the footsteps of Christ

I still grapple with elements of love because I see new complexities daily. There are now shadows I had refused to deal with that I must now face. There are realities of life that demand confronting so I can share real depth with my generations. There are questions I face every day that need the honesty to overcome. I now know that if we do not talk about the things that confound us about love, we leave the next generation with a false view of life that can severely hamper their lives.

I can only say one thing, And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Cor 13:13

I CHOOSE love daily, even though I don’t understand it fully.

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